Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Unthinkable is Happening…

I’m coming to the realization that I’m slowly turning into my Dad.

At Kohl’s with my wife, I was browsing around and actually considered buying a pair of Dockers pants because they looked comfortable and very practical (wrinkle-free!! When did that brilliance happen??) When we eat at a restaurant and my daughter, or any other family member, barely touches their food - I end up eating the rest. And don’t even ask me to tell a joke in a crowd.
It’s like an alien is taking over my body and I don’t know who I am half the time. The next thing you know I’ll be wearing sandals with socks while mowing the lawn, have a beer fridge in the garage, and running into walls.

It was even more apparent this past weekend as I was nagging my daughter about every weird thing she was doing trying to break her horrifying 5-year old bad hygiene habits.
In my defense, I’ve been extremely paranoid about her getting sick since most kids around us seem to have some sort of weird zombie-type virus: the 7-year old next-door sounds like a 50-year old chain smoking man when she usually sounds like a 40-year old chain smoking woman. A friend’s 16-month old got croup and now sounds like she’s a de-barked beagle. And nearly all of my daughter’s school friends look like they need to hook up some Sears wet-dry shop vacs to their noses because they’ve got a constant stream of snot running down their faces that ends dangerously close to their…(gasp) mouth.


I sometimes think to myself, “Wow, kids are really gross. It’s a good thing I was never like that. Ever.”

I’m determined to keep my house free of infections this winter, so I made a list on things my daughter should not be doing and hung it on the refrigerator.
Because everybody knows if it’s hanging on the fridge, it must be really important.

  1. Don’t pick your nose.
  2. Don’t pick your butt.
  3. Don’t put your fingers in your mouth.
  4. Don’t put whatever that is you picked up in your nose OR your mouth.
  5. Don’t put your mouth on the handrail.
  6. Don’t walk out of the bathroom without washing your hands.
  7. Don’t wipe anything on Daddy’s stylish Wrinkle-Free® Dockers.

(Click to print)

Sunday, January 02, 2011

Hoping 2011 is Better Than 2010

2010 ended on a gloomy note.

Just before Thanksgiving a close friend was diagnosed with leukemia, which seemed completely unbelievable at the time but led to a wave of worry for my wife and I, as we know her husband and kids really well. Thankfully her ongoing treatments are proving successful and she is now, thankfully, in remission.

Shortly after that initial news incredibly devastating news followed. Another longtime friend unexpectedly passed away.
Something strange happened to me that has never happened before in that experience: for the first time ever, when I saw his wife, I was utterly and completely speechless. At the moment, it hit me how that could of easily been me, departed, and how would I in the same situation console my wife if that were her grieving for me? He was in fact close in age to me; lived an extremely active lifestyle (possibly more so than I) and had similar hobbies, no signs of being ill or dire vices. It completely frightened me.

Trouble sleeping soon followed worrying about all sorts of things including my life insurance now that we have two kids. Writing down all of our accounts and pertinent information for my wife. Bringing up conversations with my wife wondering if she even knew what kind of arrangements I’d like to have. What if my wife and I both passed, who would be the guardian of our kids? We still haven’t fully agreed on that.
All of those serious questions came into mind because for the first time ever it feels like something can really happen.

As we now move in to 2011 I look ahead with a bit of anxiety wondering what’s in store this year. I still am hopeful it’ll be nothing but pleasant times, but at the same time scared of which ailments will hit to who and what, and which (gasp) funerals, if any, we will be attending next.
For me it’s odd to be so dire, but with recent events I find myself upset by such things now.

I’ve never done any resolutions in years past, because I’ve personally found them to be a little peculiar, but if I did have any it would be that I’m more cognizant of appreciating every little thing in life and making every effort to spend as much time as I could with my wife, kids, family, and maybe some friends that I haven’t seen in way too long.

Perhaps another resolution would be NOT caving in and creating a Facebook account this year. I can’t imagine dying and all I have for showing my appreciation and gratitude for friendship is “friending” them on Facebook. Just the thought drives me nuts.