Super Tuesday, Super Bowl, Super Absorbent

Even though I vote, I don’t like politics. I see it as a necessary evil, kind of like Tom Cruise – he’s annoying but most of his movies are entertaining.
The speeches, listening to NPR, watching the ‘live’ news coverage last night just keeps reiterating that it’s all just a big obnoxious show.

One of these days I want to start my own country. Maybe an island somewhere in the South Pacific where I can just name myself King (wearing Ray-Bans, big gold chains, velour tracksuit, white sneakers) and I could cut a deal with KFC to provide my people with Spicy Chicken and free health care. And the big export would be $8 bottled water with some cool name like “Sexy POW-AH Energy Water” that prevents hair loss, promotes weight loss, cures erectile dysfunction, and is loaded with anti-oxidants from Acai that prevents aging and car accidents.
I would have best county on Earth.

Super Bowl party - Don’t Forget Your Huggies
We went to a Super Bowl party on Sunday –

Disclosure:
Before you all start thinking I’m smashing beer cans on my head now and watching Football rest assured, I am not. Football still makes no sense to me.

This was a party with entertainment industry-types and the purpose was to smooze, drink food and wine that we all couldn’t pronounce, and watch commercials.
And yes, in case you’re wondering I did bring a bucket of KFC.

I was chatting with some fellow parents about this horrible experience called Potty Training. Giving them a rundown of my failed attempts, pleading and asking for advice, secrets, and voodoo, whatever it takes to make a child use the toilet.
The advice rolled in:

Mom #1: We didn’t start until my son was 4. It was just too much trouble.
Mom #2: Don’t sweat it. She’ll let you know when she’s ready. My daughter started kindergarten and is still wearing a Pull-Up.
Dad/Mom: Our son is 7 years old and he still wears a Pull-Up. No big deal. Some others kids in his class still wear them – it’s normal.

(Twilight theme music song starts)

Started at 4? Kindergarten? 7 year olds 'still' wearing Pull-Ups?!?! Are you kidding me!? Parents? Please tell me this isn’t true. And if it is – lie to me. Lie like you’ve never lied before.

I had a dream where my daughter was about to take her wedding pictures; she quickly stopped in her tracks and then asked my wife to change her Pull-Up. I woke up screaming in a cold sweat...

Waking Up At 4:30 A.M. Is Wrong! Just Like Grown Men Wearing Crocs Is Wrong!

Help! Game over man, game over! (me with my pillow over my head this morning.)
My 'been sleeping through the night since 5 months old' daughter has decided to shake things up a little.
For the past 3 nights, she’s been waking us up and asking for popcorn (“EAT! EAT! pe’corn! Pe’corn!”) at around 4:30 A.M. It’s as if the ghost of Orville Redenbacher appears to her every morning and tells her to wake the parents up for some real buttery (artificially flavored) popcorn – at that very moment. It’s driving us a little crazy and we’re hoping this doesn’t become a habit.

We’ve been really good about keeping her on a schedule for some time; she goes to sleep every night at 8 and wakes up around 7, like clockwork. Sure, we’ve heard stories about other people’s kids waking up at random times- but thats other people, not us! We’re special like that, right(?) we recycle!

Some other parents have resorted to the “let them cry” method. Which has worked for us a little in the past, to a certain extent - like when we know nothing else is wrong and she’s just tired and grouchy. We don’t resort to that often but that Orville (Colonel Sander’s wimpy geeky evil younger brother) is one crafty fella.
I'm looking for some parental hints and tips- does anybody have any suggestions or experience with kids waking up and not wanting to go back to sleep?


So you want to know what I thought of the Super Bowl? (Woo! Woo! Wooo!!)

To tell you the truth - I don’t even know who played. Yes, really. I have gone to ‘super bowl commercial parties’ in the past. The kind where they mingle, turn down the sound when the “game” is on, and then turn it up when the commercials are on.

I didn’t know who played then either.