Thursday, February 23, 2006

Suggestions for the Olympics


First of all, I'm no big fan of the Olympics. Well, the only exception is women's Figure Skating (Have you seen those skimpy outfits these days? My theory - probably the only way they can get a straight guy to watch). Oh, and for the possibility of Tanya Harding making a comeback, running onto the ice, with a crowbar (WWF-style). Other than that, they're pretty boring to me with a bunch of made-up sports (I mean, can you honestly call Curling a sport?). If they were really authentic Greek sports, they would be hunting Tigers and running naked through lava fields. I have some advice for the modern Olympic committee on some sports I would like to see to make it more interesting, closer to “The Hearts of the People”. First being Dodgeball. A fun sport kids of all ages enjoy and have the players wear crazy costumes, with like capes and blacklight clothing (so when the lights turn off and they play in the dark!) and maybe some live disco in the background. Second suggestion, Breakdancing. Have you seen those present-day Asian kids breakdance (They not only built robots, but impersonate them too!)? Can't you just visualize them in some final-death showdown with a German breakdance team (with their fancy electro-techno beat box-Hasselhoff remixes)? I sure can! With these suggestions in place, the Olympics would truly be something kids (and strange adults in their 30's) everywhere will dream about.
  • Olympics
  • The Ancient Olympics: Ancient Olympic Events
  • The Tonya Harding Website
  • L.A. Times: Curling?
  • Breakdancing
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