So my wife and I had dinner with another married couple recently - close friends that we’ve known for awhile. Guy friend and I are talking “L.A. guy” stuff like movies, vacations, weird people at work who dress funny, ‘how cool would it be if Jessica Alba worked at Hooters’, etc. and then the conversation goes into something like this (paraphrasing, of course):
Guy Friend: So I got this really great Facial recently at this place call ‘Peaches and Cream’…
Me: What chou talkin’ bout, Willis!?! You mean like with Jello puddin’ on your face and cucumbers on your eyes….like what chicks do?
Guy Friend: No, no. Not like that, it’s a Men’s Facial…and let me tell you… It was heaven(!)…
Me: …a “Men’s Facial” at a place called “Peaches and Cream”??? I don’t get it, what constitutes this as a “Men’s Facial”…do they smear your face with motor oil, rinse with micro-brew beer, and then slap your face to moisturize…?
Guy Friend: No, no. They use ‘organic’ oils from exotic places like Las Vegas, and creams from endangered plants in the rainforest…(blah, blah, blah…)…you should try it; it’ll help you. You have BIG pores…
Me: ((“big” pores…..I do?))
Guy Friend:…and then there’s this place nearby where they do the best massages. They have these Thai midget women that jump on your back and like scream or dance….whoa-oh! And let me tell you...it’s heaven!
Me: Midgets, you say?
And the whole time the wives are talking about babies or something like that, totally ignoring us. I’m ambivalent about this ‘Facial’ thing, but the angry Thai midgets jumping on my back sounds like something definitely worth checking out. At least once.
You should've joined the babies conversation! And that guy obviously needed more alcohol.
ReplyDeleteSo, when are you trying the midget thing????
ReplyDeleteFacials at a place called Peaches and Cream? I think not, my friend. You should ask your friend if he got his toenails painted too (maybe in a fun color, like Sea Foam?) As for the angry Thai midgets? Sounds interesting but I'm afraid that I might end up laughing during the massage and the little oompahloompahs would jump on my back and kill me!
ReplyDeleteIs it just me or does "peaches & cream" sound vaguely sexual?
ReplyDelete"Exotic places like Las Vegas" ???
ReplyDeleteSince when is Vegas exotic?
Don't do a facial, dude. You'll be known as a metro...
Thai midgets? I have 2 1/2 filipino midge-imps that are more than willing to jump on daddy's back.
ReplyDeleteHowever they do like that running start...
after your facial, skip the sea-foam and do the 'starlight blue'
LOL
"Angry Thai Midgets" would be a killer band name.
ReplyDeleteHeh.
yeah, there is nothing masculine about a facial at a place with a name like that. Did his wife have a gift certificate to use up and talked him into it?
ReplyDeleteI was once getting a rare manicure, and this big, beefy, dirty construction guy in safety boots and coveralls came in and got a pedicure on what appeared to be his lunch break. Gotta wonder where he told his buddies he went...
What's up with guys getting facials anyway? Do we really want our faces to be that pretty? What's next, having surgery to stop growing facial hair and shaving our legs? Ewww, those are smooth. :)
ReplyDeleteOoooh...you have BIG pores!!!! WTF?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but I really hate all that metrosexual crap. Massages are fine but facials and manicures and hair "product" for men??? Give me a break. Do men seriously care about that stuff?
IzzyMom - even massages kind of 'freak me out' a little. Especially if it happens to be a guy.
ReplyDeleteAs for guy caring about this stuff? Yeah, to a degree, using unscented soaps and wearing clean clothes. But nothing like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.
Waya - that would be pretty funny if it were some cover up place like that. That would be genius!
kittenpie - maybe that was the construction work from 'The Village People' you were sitting with?
Mel -- if a bad like that existed...I would be in heaven
This may sound sexist, but let's leave the facials to us females.
ReplyDeleteI mean, what's next - boxer waxing?
Ooh. Next, he'll be shaving "down there."
ReplyDeleteMy husband recently had his first pedicure. I think he could now be convinced to try a facial.
ReplyDeleteAHAHAAHAHAH ... big pores! You kill me.
ReplyDeleteMy husband insisted I buy him $15 hand cream because his hands are "looking old." He is just like his mother.
Sigh.
ps - you are cool. Blogrolled you!
I would totally download "Angry Thai Midgets" music.
ReplyDeleteCreative-Type Dad, re: your post the other day, don't you think the small family on HGTV should welcome the Angry Thai Midgets for a cameo -- or maybe mama small could try a new part-time gig at Peaches and Cream.
I have to admit, I have had a few men's facials and it's pretty cool. Always like a good massage and even had a seaweed and clay body wrap that I was more trepedatious about, but it was awesome. Why shouldn't a guy be able to refresh and relax without that meaning a six of beer?
Becky - scary thought!! Even if he did. No straight guy would ever tell another guy...that's way beyond "the code".
ReplyDeletelynsalyns - just like a guy... having his wife buy the "girlie" creams from the store for him. (I'm guilty too, I sent the wife to pick up something for my "big pore" problem...that I never knew about)
dadinprogress - Angry Thai Midgets, cameo ...wow!
Wow. I didn't know men were allowed to use phrases like 'It was heaven' (except in cheesy rock ballads) or allowed to make personal observations regarding the size of your pores. I'd check on the status of his man card. It might be expired.
ReplyDeleteDo it. Then blog the shit out of it!
ReplyDeletePerhaps if you talk nice to the wifey, she'll buy you a gift certificate so the Thai midgets can jump all over you.
ReplyDeleteAnd then you should really go over to Peaches and Cream. Treat yourself to that facial. Because nobody should walk around with big pores.
Why is it so weird for a guy to get a facial? Its nothing but a glorified massage and a reason for a nap.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think its more wierd that the ladies think its so odd!
I'd much prefer my man smelling nice and looking good, then the farting, beer guzzling, wife beater wearing, man.