For the 1,00oth Time - I Never Tried The Breastmilk!
Why is this the only question I get from soon-to-be new Dads when their wife isn't around? Not questions about sleep, diapers, what is an appropriate age for Chuck E Cheese, etc. I hope this isn't a question I just get - because that would be really weird.
And to answer the question: I only know of one guy that did this - he was out of creamer for his coffee (that still gives me the chills!)
Father's Day 2007 Has Come and Passed
I was allowed to sleep until 8 a.m. until my daughter jumped on me yelling "Happy Birthday Daddy!" with a card she colored. Then we headed to Pasadena for the Art Chalkwalk and classic car show where I stood with some other dads staring at car engines with my arms crossed nodding in agreement about parts I knew nothing about.
Wanted: Anybody Have a Spare Cow?
I'm not sure when it happened, but somehow I can now have small conversations with my daughter (I can't even say how much I love these.) Yesterday:
Daughter: Daddy, I wanna buy cow
Me: A Cow?
Daughter: A COW
Me: Do you have money? You need money to buy a cow. But first you need a job to get money. And you need skills to get a job. Have you put any thought about your skills?
(...pause...)
Daughter: Daddy....I wanna buy bunny rabbit!
Planning The 2nd Birthday Party
My idea for a small birthday party with about 6-8 kids around my daughter's age has been compromised. We've opened it up to family, which pretty much blew away the guest count (darn you family!) Gymboree has a limit on kids (22) and now we're trying to choose between friends or family.
And we can't just invite a few family, because the ones who aren't invited might mail me a horse head.
I'm also considering getting one of those balloon making people (one who doesn't dress as a clown.) But one who might agree to dress as Colonel Sanders (he can make chicken balloon animals...!)
You'll be glad to know that I'm the #1 hit for the google search phrase, "drinking wife's tasty breast milk." I'm quite proud of that one.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, it was damn tasty.
Moe kept telling Husband "Happy Birthday" as well.
ReplyDeleteCan you have 2 parties? A friend one at Gymboree and Family one with Col.-Sander-making-chicken-balloons-guy somewhere else?
You're going to have to be careful as your daughter gets older. It's obvious she's very smart. :o)
ReplyDeleteyou didn't try the breast milk? And you call yourself a man???
ReplyDeleteI never tried it either, but I got pretty good with my aim. I could nail a fly on the nightstand without even waking my wife.
ReplyDeleteMust come from my days back on the dairy.
I'll sell you a cow. To you?.. Three magic beans. A bargain at twice the price.
ReplyDeleteBreast milk in the coffee... Hmm.... Does that make it a real Coffee Mate?
ReplyDeleteIt's sounding like you might end up with Elvis making balloon animals. I'd stick with a party for friends.
ReplyDeleteI can see you've really got this father negotiation thing down pat, C-T Dad. Another couple of minutes and I bet you'd bargained her down to a small furry toy...
ReplyDeletenobody believes you didn't try the breastmilk. Even if you didn't, nobody believes it!
ReplyDeleteI remember being hurt when my hubby wouldn't just taste it! I mean, baby's drinking it -- so it can't be that gross.... But, I understand why you guys would think it's gross. I never really thought about it much -- maybe cuz i'm a girl.
ReplyDeleteThe monkey's 2nd birthday party is getting out of control, too. I said JUST A FEW FRIENDS, and it's turning into A LOT of friends. We're having it at a gymboree type place (but better) -- with instructors and an indoor playground, etc. Doing it this way takes A LOT of the work out of it for me....
First off - what kind of crazy family do you have that 22 kids won't cut it?! Wow. You might need to move.
ReplyDeleteAnd you know when you put milk in a bottle and warm it and you're supposed to test the warmth on the insde of your wrist, and then you have a drop of milk running down your wrist, so you just lick it off? Really? You've never done that?
kittenpie -- I swear, my family (mom's side) are a bunch of rabbits. If they sneeze, another kid comes popping out...
ReplyDeleteThe wife did the breastfeeding thing, or when she froze-it had some pre-determined microwave time.
Tuesday Girl -- that's the problem! I'm just going to say it taste like Folger's Crystals.
Absolutely Bananas -- If it helped me gorw chest hair, then maybe.
Whirlwind -- No, two parties would cost too much. I would much rather have my family stand in the parking lot tailgating and BBQ'ing ribs.
I didn't try the breastmilk either.
ReplyDeleteCarrie :)
Wow -- I don't think Hubby ever got that question. And now I'm afraid to ask him.
ReplyDeleteThe convo between you and daughter is priceless -- make sure your write these down in her baby book. Volcano has quite a few -- I had to start a word document and he's on his 8th page.
As for the party, best of luck to ya. Both my kids birthdays are in December, so I always have double the parties, friends AND family. No sympathy.
I'm glad I never got the breastmilk questions. Ew. I know it's natural and all, but for some reason it seems kind of creepy.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I have no problem drinking the stuff from a goofy looking cow. Of which, I don't have for sale. Sorry.
my father in law is a dead ringer for colonel sanders. no kidding. he would get asked all the time if he was colonel sanders. but you would have to fly him in from Michigan.
ReplyDeletepainted maypole - If I fly your father-in-law out here, I'm never going to let him go back.
ReplyDeleteI MUST see a picture...
pixie - I'm not too good at the baby books. We have them and they still have the default baby picture on them. I guess this thing is sort-of-one. Except, I'm not sure I want my daughter to read any of it...
I remember when I was little and my mom was breastfeeding my brother my dad DID try it. I remember it very clearly because then my mom asked me if I wanted to try it and I replied "I wouldn't even drink it when I was a baby, why would I drink it NOW?" I was 6.
ReplyDeleteI don't think my husband ever got that question, but he definitely did not try the milk.
Chicken balloon animals would be pretty cool.
Maybe if I had my own cow, I wouldn't have been as curious to taste the milk. Because I did. From a tall glass. (glug glug glug)
ReplyDeleteOK - maybe just a droplet on my fingertip. My husband? Not a chance.
That breast milk question is hilarious and not surprising at all.
ReplyDeletethat girl of yours ... genius!
ReplyDeleteI honestly can't remember if Bryan tried the breastmilk or not. I will have to ask him. Not sure if he will admit to it if he did, though.
ReplyDeleteAnd we did b-day #3 at Gymboree. Luckily I was able to confine it to 7 kids even with their 20 kid max. It was an awesome party. Have fun!