Apparently I have another child that I didn't know about.
My wife and I had our very first parent-teacher conference at my daughter's preschool. I must admit when her teacher first mentioned it, I did get a little nervous. The first thing that came to mind was "Uh-oh", followed by "parent-teacher conference for... preschool?"
I sat in a little chair, trying to balance uncomfortably on one cheek, not knowing what exactly to expect. Then it dawned on me: how does my daughter behave when we're not around? Is she repeating stuff? What exactly?
My mind kept wandering expecting to hear something from her teacher like, "your daughter keeps kicking the other kids out of the plastic playhouse saying it's foreclosed...", "She's been teaching everybody how to sing Tom Jones song 'What's New Pussycat'", "You know, Pirates of the Caribbean isn't a movie for preschoolers" (for the record, it was only the first 20 minutes), "Blackjack isn't a good way to teach counting", or worse "we think you eat too much KFC" (for the record - impossible.)
After her teacher looked at a paper for what seemed like 10, maybe 40 minutes, she began:
Miss Teacher: I didn't know you had another child?
Me/Wife: (simultaneously) What?
MT: Your daughter talks about him all the time...
(I look at my wife in as if saying,"is there something you're not telling me woman!")
MT: (continued) ...she says how cute and funny he is. And how he's not a big kid like she is and... how you throw him in the closet at dinnertime...
(why do they always look at the dad?)
Me: What? She knows we throw him in the basement.
My daughter's friends, classmates, and cousins all have younger siblings that have been born recently and she hears the stories, feels the pressure and wants one too. Her "baby brother" usually has the same name of her friends' or cousins' siblings. At school she's created some art of her, us, and a baby brother. I must admit we've seen one before and didn't think much of it, but seeing more of it really got to me.
Afterwards, we talked about school, family's, siblings, and bugs she saw at the playground. I had mentioned that she'll have a baby brother or sister one day, she'll just have to wait. And then I added, "Maybe when you get better at Blackjack."
She is so blessed.....she has the ability to see imaginary family! In the very far, far, far distant future she can make her in-laws be whatever she wants them to be! Or, just be a mime. I am familiar with that flash panic before the teacher speaks as to just what type of behavior will be revealed. I suppose she's too young for the reasoning that she may not have a little brother but she will "always have Paris!"
ReplyDeleteI have never heard of a parent teacher conference at a preschool before, but I've learned to dread them in "big kid" school. Something about those little chairs and desks really make you feel like the kid at the principals office again. :)
ReplyDeleteSo which cousin gets thrown in the closet?
ReplyDeleteLol!!! Maybe you had better get on that little brother order.
ReplyDeleteIn India parent-teacher conf. start even before the kid is born LOL.
ReplyDeleteYou kids can really add to your education!!!
i have a cousin that was in pre-k and she had convinced the teacher she spoke no english for a week. when her mom came to pick her up one evening, they were talking really loud and slow to her. and then mom foiled the ruse.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I worry that my cholesterol goes up just reading your posts about KFC.
ReplyDeleteThat girl better work on blackjack.
you'd be surprised the things we preschool teachers hear. we promise not to believe everything your child says about you if you promise not to believe everything they say about us and school ;)
ReplyDeletefuriousBall -- That's hilarious!!
ReplyDeletepainted maypole -- She really doesn't tell us too much about what the teacher says only other kids.
Whit -- Off hand, I can think of about 4.
Amrita -- Wow, that is early.
wow, that is some powerful wishing!
ReplyDeleteGuess you'd better bring home a bucket of KFC, put on some Lionel, and get the romance flowing some night soon, huh?
That. Is. Hysterical.
ReplyDeleteIf she only knew....
LMAO we had preschool conferences too. i always wondered if i had another child because they spoke of mine being so well behaved it couldn't possibly be him!!!
ReplyDeleteDownstairs where the mushroom people grow?
ReplyDeleteI should stop reading bradbury...
Hah, that must have been a fun meeting.
ReplyDeletekittenpie --- How did you know...?
ReplyDeleteDenguy --- I'm glad her teacher has a good sense of humor.
You need some of that when working with preschoolers.
Zoe --- I think we all wonder that.
Throw the baby in the closet at dinnertime. Never thought of that! That would definitely make for a more peaceful dinner. Can't wait for our first parent/teacher meeting. No doubt it will be just as funny.
ReplyDeleteHey! I throw my imaginary kids in the closet too!
ReplyDeleteThe other day I saw a TV program where pre-school parents were wondering why they were asked strange questions when they went for the admission interview.
ReplyDeleteQuestions like
What kind of birth did the kid have ...c-section or normal
What were his first words
When did he take his first steps
What kind of car do you drive etc etc.
This is India
Creative-Type Dad,
ReplyDeleteI have really been enjoying your blog, I've placed an award for you on my site.
Thanks for the awesome posts!
I'd say that you should try and take another tax deduction for her "baby brother". If the IRS shows up asking questions, just say the baby's in the basement.
ReplyDeleteWhen Beta Boy was three he drew a picture of his house and his family - there we all were, including my mother who he said "we keep in the cellar".
When my oldest son was in preschool, he told the teacher I hit him over the head with a baseball bat. And that I killed our dog. Yeah, good times.
ReplyDeleteDude. Sounds like you may need to get er, busy making that kid a sibling.
ReplyDeleteI am a single father and love to teach and play Texas Hold'em poker with them. I have a 4-year-old who already knows the A Q is a hand that will get you in trouble in the long run. Love your site...as a single dad who writes a blog, it is nice to find other men doing it as well.
ReplyDeleteLOL- I routinely say to my 2nd grader "DON'T repeat that." But something always slips through. Yesterday at the dinner table she announced "I told Mrs. Swidey that you said when they kill you in jail because you did something bad that they tie you up with tape and shoot you."
ReplyDeleteFor the record, I said tie you DOWN and give you a shot.
You crack me up.
ReplyDelete'nuff said.
Thanks for posting your blogs! My baby is very ill and when I get sad, I come and read your blog for a little pick me up. Peace!
ReplyDeleteHappyHourSue -- That's weird.. because I do tell my kid that they kill you in jail because you did something bad and that they tie you up with tape and shoot you.
ReplyDeleteCoachdad -- Impressive! One of these days we'll need to have our kids play each other...with saved allowance and Birthday money.
April -- Wow. Poor dog.
Super Mega Dad -- Thanks!!
I'm new around here. Great post.
ReplyDeleteSo when you made the joke, did your wife roll her eyes and quickly dismiss you and your comment in front of the teacher? Cause that's what usually happens to me.
Daddy Geek Boy -- YES!
ReplyDeleteAnd then I got a good talking to in the car.