There was a time not long ago when all you really needed to celebrate a traditional centuries-old Halloween, like the way many past European Kings and Asian Emperors did, was to simply leave a decent pumpkin on the porch while playing classic holiday music like Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” or Lionel Richie’s “Penny Lover.”
Those were the days when Halloween meant something. Things like “Peace on Earth” and “Girl, a love like yours is hard to resist.”
Not anymore.
Our neighborhood went downhill this year. The neighbor to the right of me spent 3 weeks building a graveyard and volcano in his yard and used his kids as non-union talent to scream at passing ‘trick or treaters.’ The poor kids didn’t even get to spend much time begging for candy themselves.
Not to be outdone, the other neighbor made a graveyard too but his with a whole series of pullies and levers, operated by his kids, moving all sort of things around with a theater grade smoke machine nearby and all sorts of theatrical lighting. Those kids didn’t get to go begging either.
The block down from us hung a large glowing spider web over their cul-de-sac and used several garage door openers, operated by their kids, as a motor system to make 3, 5-foot spiders (with glowing eyes) move up and down. Word around the neighborhood was that those kids didn’t go begging either.
The sad reality is, it’s the kids that suffer with this kind of nonsense.
I for one am not going to be partaking in any of it. My kids will be doing what kids have been doing for thousands of years since the inception of Halloween by the Great Pumpkin long ago: begging for candy so their parents can eat it. Period.
That is so why Halloween is my favorite holiday. I do draw the line at pimping babies out for candy, I like to keep up the pretense that my kids will be the ones eating all the candy.
ReplyDeleteWORD.
ReplyDeletei would leave a coherent comment, but I'm in a sugar coma
ReplyDeletewhat did you say?
You see I firmly believe grave yards shouldn't even be a part of Halloween...that's just creepy...and parents have to learn Halloween is for the children silly stupid parents that had their day when they were young...now we stand back and make sure all is well,they're safe we Moms (dads you have to give out the candy)quiet the dogs and of course we decorate but in a non-grave yard or zombie zone style! I'm usually a Witch but not one to be feared! Like your story very much....quite a picture!
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A house down the street took their Halloween decor up a notch this year. I would rather keep it friendly and simple. What amazes me is the increasing overlap of Halloween and Christmas. Soon we will have Santa answering the door for treaters dispensing the candy and Rudolph skeletons in the yard. I tried to get my boy to dress up as Santa in the latter years of his participation but he didn't buy in to my sick idea!
ReplyDeleteLuckily, we have pretty traditional people in our hood. We may have a few frankenstein inflatables here and there, but no ornate, over-the-top attempts to scare the shit out of other kids.
ReplyDeleteIn our old neighborhood, my neighbor used to turn his lights down and sit in a chair with a bowl on his lap. When people would approach, thinking he was a dummy or something not likely to move, he'd jump up and scare people half to death. I was like, that's totally a heart attack waiting to happen.
I totally agree with your last sentence. Most of the candy ends up in the jar at my work.
ReplyDeleteBut I like to make a decent graveyard too. However, I don't employ my kids yet. But N1S did offer to sit on the porch in a scarecrow costume and jump when people came.
I whole-heartedly agree!
ReplyDeleteI do reserve the right to go a little bit nuts on the decorations when my son gets a bit older (he's 4 now) but as Dad Stuff says I will only use kid labor during construction.
If they want to help out after they're done getting Daddy some candy from the neighbours, than that's fine