Last night while performing the “feed the dog” ritual I discovered the dog was out of food. I knew this day was coming, I feed him everyday and see the food bin getting low, but I always forget until the day of. So like all other times, I rush down to Petco a few minutes before they close.
While standing in line with the other Dads and their bags of pet food, this one Dad and his little girl come walking in just before the doors are locked. The little girl is holding a zip-lock bag with an upside-down goldfish to the cashier:
“Cindy-Brady” 5 year old: Uh, Uh, my wittle goldfish ‘Princess Weetah’ …(whimper, whimper, whisper)….my waddy bought her westerday and she won’t wake wup.
Petco worker hippie-surfer guy: (to Dad) Do you want your $1.07 back…
Blonde “Mike Brady” Dad: Can we get another one?
Petco worker hippie-surfer guy: That’s cool. You could have flushed it down the toilet or thrown it in the trash and just brought the receipt. (Beavis and Butthead chuckle)
“Cindy-Brady” 5 year old: (gasped with horror and tears) Wha?! Wha?! Nooooooo!!
Dad covers little girls’ ears and then hugs her.
This Petco guy is on crack, I'm totally convinced. Everytime I go there his hand is in the reptile cage - that's why I know. Only people on crack do that kind of thing. As for the kid and her Dad, I was thinking -- would you really go through the trouble of scooping up and sticking $.99 dead goldfish in a zip-lock bag and taking it back? Probably not me.
I thought about how I would have approached this situation, because I’ll likely be in the same position one day. To me it’s a learning moment.
My approach: flush the dead fish before my daughter sees it and run to buy a new one. OR tell her the fish is taking a really long nap OR getting a suntan and the reason why the bowl is turning brown - because of all the suntan lotion.
We have had lots of funerals for our animals. The most surprising one was when we flushed a frog that we thought was dead, but at the last minute it started swimming...after my son pushed the flusher! Yikes!
ReplyDeleteI buried my first goldfish. (After he died I know I needed to clarify that.) The rest got flushed.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to my son, I would probably keep buying new fish and never telling him it's a different one. Have you ever noticed "Dorothy" on Elmo's World? She's been changed quite a few times...or am I the only one with a bunch of Elmo videos??? that actually watches them on occasion???
diana - I haven't noticed the Dorothy thing....but now I'll be watching. Wondering, that if Elmo is such a horrible guy to work with that they need to keep changing Dorothy.
ReplyDeleteI knew there was something evil in that laugh.
radioactive girl - OMG!! That's all freaky.
"flush the dead fish before my daughter sees it and run to buy a new one"
ReplyDeleteThis NEVER, EVER works on TV. What exactly makes you think it would work in real life?!
I see that Dads running out of dog food is a rampant problem in your area!!!
I would have flushed and rushed.
ReplyDeleteI'd buy dog food in bulk!
ReplyDeleteI suppose it's cheaper to replace fish than, say, a dog. Which reminds me, thanks for pointing out the dog food thing. I need to go buy some myself.
ReplyDeleteAnd how do I thank you? I tag you for a meme, of course. Feel free to slap me with a dead goldfish.