On November 1st, I’m going to have an additional 10 pounds added to my ass (actually spare tire, it all goes around the trunk first).
Yessiree, thanks to all the Halloween candy people have at their desks, candy people drop off at my desk, buckets just sitting in meetings, and candy practically thrown on every assistant’s desk on the way to the bathroom or parking garage. It just sits there waiting for me to eat it. My self-control goes away during this time of year but now I really need to control it.
When I was younger (pre-30) I could eat all of this stuff like nobody’s business. But now, I can’t. Something happened somewhere along 29, 30, 31, 32, I don’t know – “the metabolism” slowed down almost to a crawl. I swear if I didn’t go to the gym I would look like my Dad (Weird Al Yankovic in that “Bad” spoof - well, almost) and that wouldn’t be good. In fact, I go to the gym religiously to prevent that from ever happening.
So I make a promise to 'this here' mighty Internet: this is my last year of eating loads of candy from people’s desks. Next year, I’m just going to say “No”. Unless people have Peppermint Patty’s (I love peppermint patty’s!) or Twix (I love Twix!) and maybe Three Musketeers (I like that sometimes) But that’s it!
Twix and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are my weaknesses. Oh, who am I kidding? If there is chocolate involved, it's a weakness. And I'm at the gym all the time too - stupid metabolism.
ReplyDeleteI'm all about the bite-sized Butterfingers, baby! Woot!
ReplyDeleteI have nothing intelligent to add. Because I'm too busy licking the chocolate off my fingers from inhaling a bag of KitKat.
ReplyDeleteI may have a big ass, but it will be a happy, big ass.
I went to the doctor around this time last eyar and when they asked me how much I weighed, I answered, paused and then said "add about ten pounds to that to account for all the Halloween candy I've been eating". They laughed thinking I was joking, but sadly I was not.
ReplyDeletei read this right after i practically begged my 4-yr-old son to give me one of his twix bars from early trick or treating. how bad is that?
ReplyDeleteI like how you said "next year" instead of "as of right now". The candy is there so you have to help finish it, right?
ReplyDeleteNow I am off to inhale some Charleston Chews and Almond Joys.
I bought five bags of candy around three weeks ago, so that I'd be 'ready' for Halloween. Now, four days before the big day, I'm thinkin, "Hey, where'd it all go?"
ReplyDeleteOf course, I only bought candy we'd eat ourselves, just in case there was any 'left over' after Halloween. Ha!
(Mini Baby Ruth bars aren't nearly as fattening as the big ones, right?)
Well, I'm on the weirdest diet ever, so I can't really say much here to relate to Halloween because eating anything like that is way off limits for me. Especially because we have Annabelle off her medication now, I should be extra careful.
ReplyDeleteBut being on the elimination diet has totally affected the foods I crave. Now I want all the junk food. But I never wanted that crap before!! My motto always was: Eat things that spoil before they do. But if I had the option to choose the foods I eat now I know I'd be shoving chocolate cake and brownies down my throat every day.
And now I'm 32 so I guess I should watch out!!
Laffy Taffy, dude. Watch out for the Laffy Taffy.
ReplyDeleteCandy is overflowing all over the place, here too. Now I suddenly crave a Snickers...sigh.....
ReplyDeletethis post takes me back to the days of candy old. my favorite was the fun dip: two thin pouches of kool-aid mix and two tongue depressors made of candy to dip in the sugar. of course i also loved the licorice pipe and the candy cigarettes. now there were two kinds: the pure candy ones, and the bubble gum ones, wrapped in paper, that if you blew into, would emit "smoke". i thought i was just as cool as my parents puffing away. today, it's the peppermint patty (hear, here, brother tony!) and the hard to find, yet incredibly delicious skybar -- four flavors in one bar!
ReplyDeleteLadt year all of my daughter's tootsie rolls 'disapppeared'. I had to make a special trip to the candy store just to make her love me again...good luck (try chewing gum).
ReplyDeleteYeah, you can't say no to the good chocolate, but I pass on the rest now too. Peppermint patties, though, now that is pure gold in a little foil wrapper.
ReplyDeleteYes, not only is Halloween the beginning of the end of the dieting season, that carries on through Thanksgiving and X-mas, but I think it's also a giant conspiracy by my dentist to help make her Toyota payments...
ReplyDeleteI keep finding candy at my desk...it's like people know how to hurt me.
ReplyDelete