Monday, November 20, 2006

Am I the "Expert" At: Tattoo Ideas, Hooters, Monkeys, KFC, Elvis, And Lesbians In Puffy Christmas Sweaters?


It must be true! Why else would Google and other search engines link to me when people search for this stuff.
Once in awhile, I check out the search keywords to this blog out of curiosity. Some I find entertaining and some I scratch my head like the ones for "daddy issues".

Interesting finds:

tattoo ideas for dad and daughter
Some ideas - "I'm a freak and so is my daughter" with a picture of snake drinking beer on a motorcycle

pregnant hooters waitress
She must get some good tips

picture of dads in monkey costumes
If you must. Will the Dads please send me their pictures. I have to dig mine out

drugged elvis performances
The last one happened in July, at my daughter's 1st birthday party

make at home french person
You could. But why?

what type of lesbian am i
Depends on if you wear men's Wranglers and listen to Dixie Chicks or if you think Jessica Alba is hot

i wish i had a midget he would eat kfc
Me too! He would be really fun at parties.

colonel sanders kfc daughter
Her name is Wendy and she has red hair and looks like Pippi Longstocking

midget family getting hurt with their pumpkin patch
I bet they would love my Colonel Sanders pumpkin stencil. Assuming they eat chicken

subliminal messages in dora
If you play her spanish backwards, she tells you to stop buying grapes and to kill "all the whiteys". I can confirm this

puffy paint christmas sweaters
Add little jiggle bells on them for the full-effect. People just loved that

was colonel sanders really a colonel?
Yes. And his lunches were awesome, especially when he added those Chicken Littles (according to reports)

i'd like my wife to blow up balloons
O.k.


16 comments:

  1. Who needs Chia Pets when you can give a Make-At-Home French Person kit. The gift that keeps giving.

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  2. BWAH hahaha!!! The make-at-home French person was my favorite, too.
    My site keeps getting Google hits for "needy cat," "why is my cat so needy," and "why am I so needy."
    Apparently, I am the queen of the needy cats/needy people.
    Bizarre.
    I am also kinda mad right now. My bloglines are hosed up and haven't been showing updates for your site. WTF?

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  3. These search queries are yet more examples why we're all doomed.

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  4. Anonymous5:29 PM

    I think the "puffy paint christmas sweaters" one is by far the scariest!

    I have someone who has, over a period of six months, repeatedly searched for "exploded babysitter" and come to my blog looking for it.

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  5. An Elvis impersonator at your daughter's 1st birthday. Man....that is so cool.

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  6. These are great...I was going to post something like this soon too. But my best was only "marshmallow figurines on chocolate block."

    I love "make at home french person."

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  7. The most common one I get is "kathy lee braless". Why, oh why, would anyone want to see that??

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  8. Wow. I have some ideas for tattoo ideas for dads and daughters.

    They involve hillbillies, goats and motorcycles...

    Your google searches are so much more interesting than mine. I constantly get queries about someone peeing on people? (WTF?) and redneck bras.

    Isn't that a bit of an oxymoron? Cuz do redneck woman even wear bras?

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  9. I have tried to leave a comment about a hundred times but it hasn't worked yet. I wrote those are pretty funny. I get a lot of searches for how to make radioactive vegetables. I didn't know that was a need people had.

    Also, I tagged you for a Meme. Do it if you want, but if you don't feel like it, no biggie.

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  10. t - I didn't realize you like to pee on people. I hope I never run into you after drinking water.

    radioactive girl - radioactive vegetables? Yup! I'll do the meme.

    panthergirl - that's some sick person! The thought is making me loose my breakfast

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  11. Anonymous11:22 AM

    Dude...it scares me what people search for on google. I knew there were a lot of sickos out there but damn!

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  12. I love that they're all about KFC and midgets and even those two together. Cause that's totally what I think of when I think of you. KFC and midgets.

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  13. kittenpie - my wife says the same thing for some odd reason.

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  14. Those are hilarious! That dad-in-monkey-suit one for sure came to me, too. I get all the bizarro monkey searches!

    (Thanks for visiting me today -- great to meet you! Your site looks great!)

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  15. Anonymous8:26 PM

    You do get some freaks! WOW.

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  16. Anonymous3:32 AM

    You've got some weird people stopping by your blog......

    AD

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