Random Thoughts For Friday November 10

When A Man Loves A Woman. Enough To Take Her To See Lionel Richie

We’re going to see Lionel in two weeks over at the Kodak (or ‘Kojak’ as I like to call it) Theater down in Hollywood. The wife is a big fan, her birthday is coming up and I was able to score 2nd row orchestra seats (we’ll be able to smell that Lionel cologne of his). If you ask me how I was able to do that – I’d like to say it was from some guy named “Manny”, in a 1977 El Camino, at midnight, in North Hollywood. But it wasn’t, they were from a charity that was selling them to help guys like Manny get real jobs.

I’ve been getting some grief from ‘the guys’ about this like “Are you kidding me?”, and from the ladies “Oh my God! I LOVE Lionel- I wish my husband/boyfriend/Imaginary Friend did that for me”. To the guys, I tell them there’re just some things you need to do for the wife, which gives you a load of points. And to the ladies, I tell them to let my wife know how wonderful I am because Christmas is coming up very soon.


Who Says There’s No Such Thing As A ‘Free’ Lunch AND Ice Cream?

Ever since the ‘old guard’ left, things have been getting extremely upbeat at work. The boss’s boss is having lunch catered for everybody in the building every Wednesday (and this isn’t KFC people, this is real food!) And if that wasn’t enough, he has a catered Ice Cream Sundae bar come in later in the afternoon. How freakin’ cool is that!? I really like this, but at the same time it scares me - like when the old witch feeds Hansel and Gretel to fatten them up so she can eat them. I think they’re trying to make us fat so they can eat us (Maybe like that old alien mini-series “V” kind of way) I don’t care, give me free food (preferably KFC) and ice cream and I’ll sit on the ‘barbie’ any day.


I Want To Meet ‘George Glass’ Already

Or in this case Georgette Glass. There’s this ‘ kind of’ nerdy little guy at work, actually there are a lot of them, but this guy in particular has been telling people the last 2 years he has this “model-hot-Baywatch-smokin” girlfriend which nobody has ever met. Not even his mom he lives with. Nope, not at after-work things, office parties, Christmas parties, “bring your ‘other’ to work day”, nothing! It’s not that I would think differently about him if she did exist, but it’s pretty obvious she doesn’t. The Christmas party is in a month and I’m thinking Georgette Glass will be on her modeling tour in Paris, Iceland again.
I don’t understand why adults do this. It’s not like he’s in Jr. High and tells people he’s going out with Tiffany.


Really Funny Things My Daughter Is Doing Update

She has two friends around her age Audrey and Olivia; she calls them “Ah-DEe” and “Ah-Lee”. She can point to them and say their names, yet when she points at me she still says “MaMa!” and my wife “DaDa!”. And even worse, while at Target she still points to strange men and yells “DaDa!” Immediately afterwards, I’ll look at my wife, really disturbed, and say “Is there something you’re not telling me…!!” Guys get really freaked out when I do that.