Thursday, December 14, 2006

Who’s That Sexy Man In The Mirror With That Shiny 'Iced' Gold Grill?


I guess I can reveal my secret to everybody since Dad Gone Mad revealed his. I’m getting braces in a few weeks, but unfortunately not the kind I want: a gold grill with diamonds that read “Who’s Yo’ Daddy” - the wife doesn’t think that’ll go over well because “technically” I’m not everybody’s daddy.

My bottom teeth got a little bad after I kept making excuses for 11 years about getting my wisdom teeth taken out (sidenote- why in the world are they called that "wisdom teeth"?!) and when I finally did get them removed, the aftermath wasn't so pleasant. I'm a little annoyed at the prospect, you'd think in the year 2006 dentist would be able to use 'lasers' or something to straighten teeth in 10 minutes or less, and then rush home to dinner in a flying car.

I’d like to think there are a lot more adults getting braces these days, but in reality there probably isn’t (actually, I don’t know, I haven’t been paid 2 million dollars the government to do a study – but I am open to the idea.) Braces have this stigma of being a 'teen-thing', so of course I’m not announcing it to people (only strangers). Thankfully somebody invented some invisible-braces (well plastic toy-looking ones, without the vampire teeth) so people don’t know your little secret and can’t tell your wearing anything- kind of like those women in those tampons commercials jumping around in white shorts on the beach during their periods.

So my scientific work begins (without millions of dollars), do any of you adults wear braces? Any with these 'Invisaligns' ?

20 comments:

  1. You're not going to the same dentist who had a bit to drink last time, are you? And no braces here, just a ton of fillings, but at least they're all in the back and you can't see them.

    And don't worry, if Tom Cruise can wear those Invisalign braces, you should be able too!! Good luck!

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  2. DUDE! You are going to be so STREET! WORD TO YA MOTHA! *snicker*

    Great idea, though. I'd do it if I needed them. I just have some cavities to get filled that I've overlooked for too long.

    The tampon commercials. Nothing can top "Have a HAPPY period." Oh.My.God.

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  3. I am one of the fortunate ones, born with born with basically straight teeth. My son, however, is looking at braces. My daughter too when she gets of age.

    I know quite a few adults that are wearing braces these days. Most of them using the invisible rubber band thingys. I think you will be just fine.

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  4. Anonymous8:00 AM

    I had them till I was 20. Does that count as an adult? Kinda? No?
    ~Diana

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  5. Anonymous9:15 AM

    I had braces as a kid and the experience scarred me for life. Um, I probably shouldn't have told you that. I'm sure your experience will be much better. Really. No worries. :)

    - Mrs. Chicky

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  6. I will need braces. Will definitely get them in the next couple of months. Hubby had braces as an adult; when he was really really old, like 28. I'll be really old woman with braces. I'll probly go with them invisible force braces that shoot lasers at people. Know where I can get me one-a-dem?

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  7. sourpatchbaby -- That shoot lasers?! Wow- that would come in really handy. Especially at the DMV or Home Depot...

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  8. Anonymous12:25 PM

    Shooting lasers sound good: could they cut your meat on the plate too? That seems like a useful thing for a mouth-weapon to do...

    (Bec at the Ladies Lounge, by the way, and I see beta blogger is blocking other people too

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  9. Anonymous1:41 PM

    I'm'uh get me some gold caps that spell "BITCH" across my front teeth.

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  10. ctd, I've been to the orthodontist recently to have my teeth re-straightened but I haven't followed up because we will be moving IF SOMEBODY WANTS TO PAY WHAT WE WANT FOR THE DANG HOUSE.

    Several of my friends are wearing braces. It's cool.

    Nobody gets the Invisaligns because their orthodontists say they, well, suck.

    So get the real thing and get Flava-Flav bling tooth accessories!

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  11. What is it with us and our teeth?!?! Seems all of us men, as we age, are falling apart in the dental department!

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  12. I did the brace-face thing as a teenager. My bottom teeth have gone back to somewhat crooked since I never wore the retainer that I was supposed to wear every night for the rest of my life. But my cousin's wife(back when he was married) had braces as an adult and so did one of my co-workers. Actually, I never knew any adult men that had them. Until you, Tony.

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  13. My good friend had them at age 35 or so. My mom has them right now (she's 66). So yes, there /are/ adults who have braces!

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  14. Anonymous1:55 PM

    I had the best teeth in the family until I was in a car accident in college, and me smashing my face against the front window (passenger side) resulted in getting my jaw knocked out of line. After months of heachaches and such, docs decided I either needed surgery or wear braces to bring things back in line.

    So at 20, I wore regular braces for a year. No biggie. Just think, you'll probably start getting carded again! LOL And my sis and brother wore braces as adults, too. It's common. Just make sure you follow the orthodontist's instructions so they'll come off in a timely manner!

    Enjoy!!!

    xoxo

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  15. My neighbor has that and I had no idea until he told me. I had braces FOREVER as a child. I hated every minute...but I'm sure you will do fine. I had the ugly metal ones because they hadn't yet invented the cool clear or invisible ones.

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  16. Anonymous5:45 PM

    My dentist wants me to do the invisaligns. I'll probably do it sometime next year. She said I was the "perfect candidate"... which means she needs to make her Land Cruiser payment.

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  17. I've had braces since last January - and it's the second time in my life. I hate to say this, but while I know I'll be glad I did it, the past year has been more painful and humiliating than I even imagined. I've never gotten used to them, they still feel unnatural and like they stick out, I still feel like Doogie Howser at all my work functions/meetings. It does suck. But I know it will be worth it. (And FYI, I don't have invisaligns - I have obnoxious metal braces, but I have the "Damon" system, which works quickly and doesn't involve bands on each bracket - supposedly it's less painful and harsh than traditional braces.)

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  18. L.A. Daddy - my dentist said the same thing! I swear she was reading from a pamplet...

    Kristen -I've never heard of that 'Damon' system...I'll have to look that up

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  19. Anonymous11:06 AM

    I had braces as an adult. I got them off when I was 38. I didn't do the Invisalign kind - I just got the clear ones on top and the regular metal ones on the bottom. It cost more for the clear ones on the top - but well worth it --- in pictures from that time period you can't even tell I had them on!

    Note: Wear your retainers (at least to bed!) afterward. VERY IMPORTANT!

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  20. Thanks Lisa! My wife will be hounding me about that too...I just know it

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