The way things have been going there’s no doubt in my mind that I’ll have the first Jr. high kid EVER that hasn't been potty trained.Recently some friends gave me a dvd called “Potty Power” that did wonders for their 2.5 year-old. She watched it a few times and like magic was “instantly” using the toilet like a 67 year-old running into the house after a visit to Hometown Buffet.
The video is actually quite good. The songs are so catchy that I often find myself singing them in boring meetings at work (“no more diapers for me…yeah, yeah…”)
Unlike other potty videos, kids actually use the toilet in it - imagine that! All while singing, dancing around, yelling “Potty Power” with their arms in the air like Che Guevara revolutionaries.... it's all very exciting.
So exciting that my daughter pooped in her diaper while watching the DVD (hmmm... maybe I should move the TV into the bathroom...?)
While changing her diaper she threw her arms up in the air and yelled “POTTY POWER!!”
Do you think they would arrest me if I duct taped a potty chair to my toddler’s butt?
So now I’ve come up with another creative method – coloring pages. Because really, what toddler doesn’t like coloring pages? Only toddlers whose parents deprive them of basic necessities like clothes, a place to sleep, fried chicken and maybe air.
Here are a few coloring pages that I’ve made to reinforce the use of the potty. Feel free to use these for "the cause":
"Poop in the potty and a magical unicorn will visit" - coloring page
"Every time you poop in your pants, Elmo cries. Don't make Elmo Cry!" - coloring page
With some duct tape and these -- this potty training business could be pretty easy. How's that for "Potty Power!"...?
With some duct tape and these -- this potty training business could be pretty easy. How's that for "Potty Power!"...?
"Don't make Elmo cry" - I couldn't help but laughing. I'm sorry but I cannot help you.
ReplyDeleteI just snorfled tea. This is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteholeeee crap, that's funny.
ReplyDeleteYou're one step away from "Every time you poop in your pants a fairy falls down dead."
Crap if you believe in fairies.
Great coloring pages! My nieces have that video. It is funny and does make you want to scream "Potty Power!"
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't worry too much about the potty training - as my husband pointed out when we were potty training our daughter: "Y'know, no boy is going to want to date a girl who wears diapers." Bonus!;-p
ReplyDeleteDon't make Elmo cry... good one. I'm all for putting them in cotton undies with a real diaper on top. That way, they feel the sticky, nasty, wet stuff without the mess getting onto your carpet as they sit, poo, and play in the family room. Ha ha! Evil, but necessary.
ReplyDeleteCan we invent the crap fairy? Poop in the potty and the crap fairy will bring you Spiderman/Wonder Woman underoos! Yippeee!
The Elmo one made me poop! I dred potty training, I've been showing him the toilet recently hoping it will click one day, see? it's a place to poo and pee not a place to wash your hands!
ReplyDeleteI once wrote about Potty Bear, my invention! http://mrsmogul.blogspot.com/search?q=potty+bear
Hmmmm. A TV in the bathroom. Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteLove the blog! As a new dad, I've gotten a ton of great parenting tips and ideas from http://www.dadlabs.com. It's a fantastic resource; I really highly recommend it.
ReplyDeleteI like the drawings.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to doctor the unicorn picture to say, "clean the toilet... and a magical unicorn will appear with 6 sets of numbers for powerball" to motivate husband for doing housework.
He may send you hate mail after that though.
If the coloring pages don't work, I can give you my grandma's phone number. For some reason, whenever I talk to her, I have to poop...wait I'm kidding, I don't poop...girls don't poop. Although I did pee in my pants a little when I saw your coloring pages...you know from laughing so hard.
ReplyDeleteI actually had to stop and move away from the computer I was laughing so hard in the middle of this post. Seriously. My wife came over to find out what was causing me to make such a ruckus (I was half-laughing, half-coughing).
ReplyDeleteThanks for the dose of humour.
As for the potty thing, I don't know what to tell you. We just bought some panties (with her favourites: Curious George and Disney Princesses on them) and let her see us folding them with the laundry. She asked what they were, and we explained they were panties for when she was ready to use the toilet instead of diapers. A few days later she asked for panties, and barring a few accidents, has been diaperless since then (about 6 or 7 months now).
Che Guevara. LOL
ReplyDeletePotty Power forces activate!!
you kill me!
ReplyDelete:)
I think one of our breakthroughs came, both with the "Potty Time" episode of Bear in the Big Blue House (the daughter was a big fan), and the pull ups that we put her in were also Bear.
ReplyDeleteShe definitely tried not to "Poop on Bear" and the transition finally began.
JayMonster -- She may not want to poop on bear, but can I?
ReplyDeleteLisa -- Hey! That's a great idea. Maybe the kids can all jump together and form a giant robot toilet...!
SciFi Dad -- Our children come from a completely different universe...
Jackie -- I don't know about that, have you seen some Japanese cartoons these days?
I'm sure there are guys out there who are looking for women in diapers.
beta mom -- You're good! I like that one. I'll have to create that on the next round...
Maybe there's a book idea somewhere..
WHAT?! No picture of the Colonel on the potty? And bribing her with the bucket doesn't help either? Is she really your kid?
ReplyDeleteWhat's been working for Sophia when she wants to poop in her diaper, I'd say "poop in the toilet like big girls do or insert older cousin's name here".
My wife thinks The Champ and I spend too much time in the bathroom now and you want me to put a TV in there for Peanut?
ReplyDeleteBrilliant!!!
With all these potty-training ideas I'm afraid you might end up changing your name to Psycho-Type Dad.
ReplyDeleteThis post is absolutely hilarious! Just like magic huh? :)
ReplyDeleteA bachelor friend of mine used to have a specific mirror set up in his bathroom for the sole purpose of allowing him to watch TV while sitting on the toilet. I thought it was hilarious to adjust the mirror every time I was there, just to hear his reaction. It took him a long time to figure out it was me moving the mirror.
Wow, Elmo's sending little kids on guilt trips now!
ReplyDeleteMy personal favorite potty training video is It's Potty Time!", which features the unforgettable song "I'm a Super Duper Pooper!".
Then again, my kids were 3 and 4(Aaaaaugh!) by the time they potty trained.
Sarah O. --- I totally want that song as my ringtone - because you know, some days I am Super Duper Pooper
ReplyDeleteFirst time visitor. Great blog. We're going to have to try the "Potty Power" DVD with our son.
ReplyDeleteThe Elmo picture is hilarious.
OMG...the Elmo page is too funny! If my kids were still young, I would be printing that out and getting the crayons.
ReplyDeleteNavy Seals have swim buddies; little poopers should have "Poop Pals".
ReplyDeleteEach of our four kids handled the process differently.
This is the dad perspective. They were born, I had to buy diapers for years, now we only occasionally by pull-ups when someone is ill. (Big raise by the way)
Our eldest went from diapers to cotton drawers in a short 2.5 years. Her drive was a very close friend who was on the same track, we didn’t know about “Poop Pals” formally, but this was hers. We also sat on the edge of the tub the first few times while the process was happening. Looked, celebrated, and then flushed. Peer pressure was the major driver.
The next young lady took a little longer. Going seemed to interrupt what ever she was doing at the time and then once “it” was time she wasn’t close to the location. Singing, Poo Poo in the Potty was a big help.
Number 3, our son, was cold turkey. He went straight from diapers to cotton. He likes clean and couldn’t imagine sitting in the wet. This one we worked on W,F,W. Wipe, Flush and Wash. Challenge was after the deed. One accident then out with the Pampers.
Number 4. She did poop quickly. A neighbor was on the same schedule, the name game and grandparents coming to visit were the drivers. The challenge here is the wet nights.
You have to teach the kids the three games of toilet training. "Concentration, Aggrevation and KerPlunk" (http://www.playthingspast.com/mt506.html)
Thanks for the post. It gave me and my wonderful spouse a great laugh and a stroll down Stool Dropping Lane!
Bwa ha ha. The unicorns one is killing me. But really? I would say back off it a bit, so it doesn't become a power struggle. Kids will actually withhold in order to get the upper hand, so there is no winning if it gets to that stage!
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny! The lovely unicorn one (enticing), then the hardcore emotional blackmail one...(child abuse?!)
ReplyDeleteThat was a joke by the way, in case the Anglo Saxon humour doesn't translate ;-)
Pigx
dude --
ReplyDeleteI should be stopping by more often (thanks for visiting me, by the way) but in the meantime, sigh, I regret to inform you that I am tagging you for a "RANDOM TAG MEME" -- don't feel too badly -- they got me twice. I'm only in stable condition....attempting to fulfill my bloggish responsibilities....
thank you for that! I think yr brill. I love the elmo one with all my heart. yr cool!
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny. I'm potty training my son, and today has been a success at peeing but no bowel movements yet. I think I'll have to use the Elmo threat
ReplyDeleteThat was hysterical! Is it wrong that I don't want your daughter to get the hang of this potty thing, purely for my own selfish amusement?
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, I know how frustrating it can be. At least it makes for good blog fodder.
Busy Dad Mumbles -- You're hired!
ReplyDeleteandi -- You sound like my wife...
(thinking)
Printing "Don't Make Elmo Cry" now ...
ReplyDeleteLOL! The unicorn one is my favorite because...who doesn't love a unicorn?
ReplyDeleteMy boys are five and and nine. The absolute worst/annoying job I have had in parenting is potty training. It was a NIGHTMARE until I gave up and waited until they were two weeks shy of four. I know that is old, but that did the trick for my boys. But good luck. Love the coloring pages.
ReplyDeleteWhere were you and your coloring pages about 3 years ago when I had to result to duct tape on the butt?
ReplyDeleteI believe that you should stop stressing...Just remember that mom's never complain about changing diapers...
ReplyDeleteCreative Dad - Not that you need any more advice, but the wisest thing I ever heard was from Dr. T Berry Brazelton, who said potty training was up to a toddler, not his or her parents.
ReplyDelete"It's not our job. It's theirs," Brazelton said.
By the way, if the coloring pages don't work, my son liked to read Golf Digest when he was learning to use the potty.
Why didn't I think of this? 'Cause oh do I need the help. My gal will barely look at the potty, much less use one. No, she's used it - as a repository for toys. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteWorkingDad -- When the kid starts instructing you on how to wipe their butt, then I think it's long overdue.
ReplyDeletenonlineargirl -- Duct tape
dennis -- I'll let my wife know you said that, so when she slaps me you can feel it too.
Leslie -- I know! Especially ones with rainbows off their backs.
I hear you Creative Dad. I also got worried when my kid could tell me in detail how bad the diaper change was going to be.
ReplyDeleteCLASSIC...
ReplyDeleteElmo crying! LMAO!
ReplyDeleteGood luck there.
Dude... you seriously crack me up... but no, my daughter will be in JR high with yours, also not potty trained. As a matter of fact, my post today was about potty training, and how we have been doing so for THE PAST 6 MONTHS!
ReplyDeleteUGH
I thought candy was a good idea....man i'm gonna grab that unicorn!
ReplyDeleteJenifer -- You're scaring me... 6 months!?
ReplyDeleteWorkingDad -- My daughter hands me the wipes and tells me to clean her booty right or she'll tell mommy.
The ideas and the posts are wonderful!! I have let my little guy get the upper hand and tomorrow is now a new day (by the way 6 months doesn't seem too long since he showed interest 18 months ago!! We have moved back and forth during my husband's second deployment to Iraq though which lasted 15 months and now are hopefully settled so wish me luck!!
ReplyDeleteHa. Ha. I needed that. I have a two year old that I am trying to potty train! I love the pictures! They are too funny and I am all for the duct tape and poop fairy too! ;)
ReplyDeleteI rave (and laugh) about the Elmo coloring page - sorta reminds me of "God kills a kitten..." or some fuddleduddle!
ReplyDeleteAnyways, now that the (potty) humor is off my chest, I'm off the Disney's Hollywood Studios for ESPN: The Weekend this Friday! YAY!!!
God, I was thinking that my toilet song was creative (your pee wants to go to the toooliet, if you pee in the toooliet, say gogdbye to the pee, bye, bye..), silly!
ReplyDeleteI think even moms' comments are funnier in dads' blogs. Heather, what you suggest is clever, I will give it a try!
I love these coloring pages! Are there any more out there like this. If there are please post a link, because I must have them!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous -- I'm slowly working up a collection of these satire coloring pages for a book.
ReplyDeleteYou'll find more here:
Habits Coloring Pages Here