Some of the searches that end up here are getting stranger by the day.
Most of them are in the form of questions looking for help or expert advice. I find it odd that they end up here since the closest thing I have to a Ph.D is a DVD or BVD’s.
However, these people are looking for answers so I’m going to respond to them. Why? Because that’s just how I roll.
The Questions:
what is lionel richie doing this year for thanksgiving? – Let me ask. Spending it at Dollywood.
ideas for writing birthday invitations for a party at chuck e cheese – Start with “I’m so sorry but, this wasn’t my idea…”
why does my dad stay up late – To play Words with Friends on the iPhone. But not with Sci Fi Dad (because he cheats....!!)
why do we have butt cracks – Because they’re funny
do midgets have small poop – Let me check. Yes.
where can i get a monkey to perform at my daughters birthday party? -- In Thailand or Lancaster.
i drank my wife's breast milk yesterday – Hopefully because you ran out of regular milk and not because you like it and are just really weird.
my son doesn't have a date for prom? Put an ad on Craigslist
creative way to tell husband that you are expecting -- Don’t start it by saying “remember that business trip …”
when does a baby mullet grow? – At 5 months, start playing Michael Bolton songs. At 6 months start showing Macgyver reruns or visit Georgia.
wierdest thing about lionel ritchie -- If his mustache is ever removed, he loses all magical powers.
what is it called if you have an obsession with poop – Poopalicious.
my five year old who refuses to go to the potty! -- Take him/her back to the store for a refund.
i called poison control 4 times in one week what's going to happen to me – Protective services should be arriving at your door any minute.
why do little kids pick their noses – The same reason why old people do, because they're bored and have nothing to play with.
Somebody searched Lionel Richie's Thanksgiving? Is nothing sacred???
ReplyDeleteHi Agony Dad, this is just too good.
ReplyDeletePoor Lionel Richie.
Hi Agony Dad, this is just too good.
ReplyDeletePoor Lionel Richie.
These were most enlightening and helpful. However, at this point in my life I want to know where is Lionel Ritchie will hold his egg hunt this Easter, what will he wear to his daughter's nuptials AND why does a grown man miss the toilet with his stream? Can you help me out?
ReplyDeleteROFL! I see a theme. Now, if I only had the answer to what Lionel Ritchie poops....
ReplyDeleteMy sister once made chocolate chip cookies with her breast milk because she didn't have any regular milk. I didn't have any but my brother unknowingly ate one.
ReplyDeleteI dunno man, some guy with the forum name "PennyLuvrLR" over at the monkey entertainer forum was asking an awful lot of questions around Turkey Day
ReplyDeleteWhat was cheating? Frustum? So because I'm an engineer and you spend your days drawing Lionel Richie I'm a cheat?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you couldn't find the letters to make "Hello", or "Ballerina".
handstowar -- Wow, that is so wrong in so many ways. I'm never eating a cookie again.
ReplyDeleteSciFi Dad -- 125 point word down with doubles on each letter across is just too suspicious...
:)
ReplyDeletei play words with friends, too. ;)
Man, there are some crazies out there.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what happened to the person who drank the poison? I hope they were entertained by your blog.
ReplyDeleteThese are awesome. I get really creepy searches that lead people to my blog.
Great idea for a post. Funny stuff.
ReplyDeletepainted maypole -- I'm "GjertsonB" on Words with Friends.
ReplyDeleteThe Gjertson is my phony 80 year old bee farmer from Norway profile on Facebook so I can play games.
Awesome!
ReplyDeleteI got her by typing in "Why does Lionel Ritchie pick his butt crack at night on Thanksgiving?"
Or because you are on my blogroll...
Have I told you lately that I love your blog?
ReplyDeleteWell, now then, I've gone and done it.