No, You STILL Can’t Have a Cat!

My daughter has been begging for a cat again. Apparently my excuses from last year (“Big Bird use to have a little brother, but cats ate him”, “Cats eat Fairies”…) have started to diminish in there effectiveness because she’s now prepared to risk the lives of both Big Bird and Fairies so she can have a cat.

That’s not good news for me, or Big Bird.

Somehow she just doesn’t understand that all cats secretly want to hurt and eventually kill people. Maybe it’s my fault for not speaking enough about the dangers and well-known fact that they’re all killing machines (click to view larger):

(Illustration credit to this guy)

So being a man of compromise, and a Dad who not only wants save his daughter from a carnivorous cat so she can live long enough to see her 5th birthday, I did what any other Dad would do.

I bought her an Ant Farm instead (The kind that glows with cool space-age gel! So cool…)


My wife wasn’t impressed because not only can’t you pet Ants, because they have no fur and aren't "cute", but these Ants sting when touched.

To which I replied “...it’s better to get stung than killed by a cat!”