Thursday, January 11, 2007

Random Thoughts For Friday: Because Some Days, I Just Wanna Dance


My Dentist IS The Muppets Swedish Chef In Drag
At least that’s my belief at the moment. I was there over 2 hours getting ‘teeth impressions’ for those Invisalign braces that I’ll soon be sporting (minus the gold, diamonds, fiber-optic lighting effects, etc.) She had to redo it 11 times (yes, 11) because (1) her hands kept pushing too hard when she was saying something about the IRS. (2) She was too busy noticing the new tattoo (in addition to the 50) on her pregnant assistants arm. (3) She was possibly a little sauced at 8:30 A.M. If you remember, I have a very odd suspicion that she may be a heavy drinker since she slurs like the late great James Brown, smells like Hennessy, and I can’t understand what she’s saying half the time.

I Really Want That Apple iPhone
I like toy gadgets. Really “shiny” ones that can do everything (even change the car oil and cure the sick) - a lot. And I like to be the first to get them. I guess this behavior stems from my childhood. Growing up, I hardly ever got what I wanted for Christmas or my birthday. When all the other kids were getting Colecovisions or the original Nintendo, I got stuff like board games (or what I referred to at the time as “bored” games) and underwear with monkeys on them (at 14.)

Like the late-great Colonel Sanders once said, “I’m too drunk to finish this chicken”
I've been working late nights at the J.O.B. since returning from Florida. Now, I’m pretty much working 7 days a week for the next 3 weeks. The negative side is coming home late - which pretty much sucks for me, my wife, and daughter. The only plus side is the fine food from local fancy restaurants they’ve been feeding us (I had sushi and oysters on the half-shell tonight...!) But in reality, nothing beats sharing KFC with my daughter who loves the novelty of chicken in a bucket... just like me.

It’s "De-Lurking Week" and nobody sent me chocolate
If you lurk around these parts, come into the light and say something in the comments. If you don’t know what to say, tell me who's your favorite Spice Girl (real or imaginary...)

New tricks the daughter is doing these days
Instead of saying, “move” or “excuse me” if you’re in her way, she squeaks “BEEP-BEEP” (like a car horn) - she got that habit from her mom. She carries around a miniature KFC bucket of chicken and says “Chick-EN!” real loud – she got that habit from her mom. She talks a million miles-a-minute, most of it is unintelligible, but you can pick out some words – she got that from our Dentist.

31 comments:

  1. *drags self into the light by scruff* OK ok...I'm here...always LOL. I'd worry about that dentist. Who wants someone pie-eyed tightening wires and straightening thier teeth?? Oh and on the gadgets. I hear ya *pounds chest* I just got a mandolin (no not a many stringed instrument - a chef's tool for precision veggie slicing) because I HAD to have a tool that had like 27 different blades to julienne, ripple cut, and turn potatoes into little screen doors. Did you get the Wii then? Or are you going to hold out for the iphone and drop the Wii idea? LOL. So many gadget sand only two hands...I feel your pain. BTW, the dughter person is growing more adorable with every story. Keep up the great work Daddy and Mommy!

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  2. I'm de-lurking (sort of!)

    The daughter sounds so so cute!

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  3. Hey creative dad, I'm de-lurking, too! And my favorite spice girl is the chick who convinced that soccer player, Beckham to marry him since he seems to have bagged a sweet deal with us yankees. And not because she can sing or dance (if she even can), just because she gets to enjoy hisb stash. :)

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  4. Impressions were the worst! My son is about to get them and I feel so sorry for him! My daughter did fine and said it was no big deal, but I hated getting them!

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  5. Anonymous6:19 AM

    Ginger Spice.

    xoxo

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  6. Scary Spice.

    I want that Apple phone too. I think you ought to head to your local Apple Store now and get in line, so the phone doesn't become like the elusive Wii.

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  7. The Spice WHAT?
    LOL.
    I always gagged during impressions, because they could never find the one to 'fit' me and always ended up shoving one that was way too big (that sounds so dirty. Sorry!)After a while I just thought they wanted impressions of my uvula...
    Did you get the flavored impression taste or regular bland white paste?

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  8. I can't believe you went BACK to that dentist!! Are you running out of things to blog about and figured it'd be a good story? Eeek!

    I don't want/need a new phone. Just need to figure out how to use all the features on mine. Oh... and how to hack the features they've locked out on the software.

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  9. Hmmm, chicken. Damn you for incurring that word first thing in the morning. All I've got in front of me is some stale Cheerios and my cup of Java. (Yummm...)

    And I lurk, and stalk and peep regularly.

    It's why you like me. I'm naughty like that.

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  10. Can a first-time visitor de-lurk? How about this: I suspect I'll be returning, so I'll pre-de-lurk.

    Yeah that iPhone is one sexy gadget, as are most things Apple puts out there.

    Mmm, chick-EN...

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  11. delurking here... but man, i want that iphone so bad too...

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  12. Deb - I got the wii! I'll be posting soon about it...

    Diana - That's why I took so long too. Nothing fit. And they treated me like some alien with a mutant mouth saying stuff like "funny, this works on everybody but yours..."

    Lisa - yeah, I know. Problem is I had to pay up-front for those things, so I'm stuck...

    waya - bring it on!

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  13. Anonymous11:52 AM

    Delurking.

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  14. Baby Spice.

    I hope you saved those monkey underpants; I can just see the Antiques Roadshow segment: "These are the finest examples of late 20th century monkey underpants that I have ever seen ...."

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  15. Baby Spice.

    ( There were others ?! )

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  16. Anonymous2:02 PM

    YOu know I've been craving chicken like today I took a whiff at the supermarket...but I AM A VEGETARIAN!! man, it must be the FLORIDA air!

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  17. People really HAVE a favorite Spice Girl? They keep showing up in the news, and I don't know why. What's with the one married to that guy getting a batrillion bucks for moving to CA? I didn't even know soccer in this country HAD that much money.

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  18. h&b - only posh, that's about it.

    mrsmogul - joins the colonels church and learns the ways of us carnivores.

    Becky - seriously! I live in L.A. and had no idea we had a soccer team.

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  19. I hate to be the one to point this out...but some people actually change to a new dentist when their present dentist becomes a taste-tester for the local brewery. Just a thought. LOL

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  20. Ooh! Ooh! I know one, I know one!

    Old Spice.

    Right?

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  21. Anonymous11:10 PM

    Mmmm. Chicken in a bucket. Mmm mmm good.

    I think it's a crime to make anyone work 21 days straight. No, seriously. For real.

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  22. I am delurking and thoroughly enjoy your blog. I think we go to the same dentist office.

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  23. I have commented here a few times, so not really de-lurking.......but hey.....

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  24. I KNOW you like getting gadgets first. Why else would you line up at all kinds of stupid hours for the Wii for yourself? Crazy man.

    And Ginger, all the way.

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  25. How can anyone follow a comment left by someone named kittenpie? Who, by the way, was my favorite Spice Girl.

    My 12 year old went nuts the day the iPhone was announced. And, by the way, he and his sister still love his Wii. Heh heh heh.

    Also, I saw our 60-year old orthodontist in the supermarket the other evening and I swear he was stoned.

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  26. Uh, Tony, WHAT did we tell you about that dentist? I don't feel sorry for you. Not one bit.

    My Chinese nephew loves KFC too.

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  27. I'm really starting to get worried about your upcoming braces - what with the drunk technician and all...

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  28. Maybe your new year's resolution should be: find new dentist.

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  29. FYI - my favorite Spice Girl is Posh. I'll have to write about my encounter with her nearly 10 years ago.

    And as for the dentist - I'm stuck with her for the next year. I've already paid for those invisible braces...but I did get a good deal on them!

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  30. Having a great time reading this blog! This is where i am at so far and just figured out how to post a comment from reading the blog through google reader, and also now how to get to the archives on the website. Okay so I'm a late bloomer, but good things come to those who wait! Like all the customers who wait in line at KFC. Good payoff! :)

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