Monday, June 15, 2009

The Father’s Day Conspiracy

Why do people hate Father’s? The TV, Stores, Magazines, Organizations, Advertisers, America, Cats -- just about everybody.

It’s not difficult to notice that for Mother’s Day the entire month of May is devoted to ‘Mom’. There are pastel posters everywhere with all kinds of slogans, special commercials with fancy jingles, charity walks with celebrities raising money for all kinds of women causes. And who can escape the ads for gift suggestions:
  • $10 Talking Greeting Cards
  • Flowers with fruit in the vases
  • Shopping gift cards
  • $70 Champagne Brunches
  • Jewelry
  • Engraved anything
  • Custom memory books
  • Spa Makeovers
  • Getaway Trips without husband/kids/anybody remotely related
  • Lexus
In comparison some of ads I’ve seen for Father’s Day gift suggestions this year:
  • Garage Floor Coating
  • Kitchen Cabinet Refinishing
  • Search and Rescue Headlamps
  • Outdoor Storage Shed
  • Whole House Air Duct Cleaning
  • Free beer for Dad with purchase of 3 lunch entrees and 3 drinks
  • Car Wash and Detail Kit (for Mom’s Lexus I guess…)

Maybe by the end of the week they’ll be suggesting things like gas cards as the perfect Father’s Day gift.

It really is much simpler than that – I would be perfectly happy going on a family outing to my favorite eating place, taking a long uninterrupted nap, and getting some hand-made art that I can hang up at work with a note saying that if she becomes the first woman president it's all because of me.
And if I happen to get a floating waterproof table tennis, or a beer holster - that would be nice too.


Kelly said...

You forgot the "including the kitchen sink" Swiss Army knife, and soap on a rope!
Happy Father's Day!
PS...I hope you get that holster! LOL

furiousBall said...

See that's exactly what I would ask for, just a peaceful day with my kids. I don't need any more "stuff".

Amrita said...

Happy Father 's Day Tony

Sasparilla Sue said...

Don't forget the ads for nosehair trimmers...the perfect Father's Day gift!

Otter Thomas said...

Floating table tennis sounds awesome, but only if it comes with a floating beer holder.

Artist Unplugged said...

Oh, but the ads for shirts, ties and grills are in abundance. I do agree that there is some discrimination going on. May you receive the ultimate gift .......a lifetime giftcard to KFC!!!!!

for a different kind of girl said...

The father in this particular house is getting underwear. Nothing says "Thanks for being a great dad, Dad!" then Mom telling the boys she's folded enough holey pairs of drawers!

creative-type dad said...

for a different kind of girl -- My wife does that too, just so she can laugh and say "you got underwear!"

Otter Thomas -- Not if you fill the pool with beer.

Sasparilla Sue -- And ear hair trimmers too.

Anonymous said...

Hurm. I'm kinda at a loss here cause my parents are divorced and my dad split ages ago. When I was a kid we used to get my mom a Father's Day card since she was the only parent and fill it with drawings and poems and pictures of us making faces, etc. We were also the queens of the homemade coupon for things like "1 cup of hot tea" and "one clean room without complaining". Here's hoping you have a wonderful Father's Day. :)

Anonymous said...

Aaaargh, wrong account. It's me, cryngfreeman. Sigh. Must have been wearing the beer holster too long.

Dad Stuff said...

I wouldn't mind a garage floor coating. But floating table tennis would be cool too.
Happy Dad's Day.

James (SeattleDad) said...

Did somebody say free beer???

Anonymous said...

An excellent post!

Mother's Day is a BIG thing. Have to get the gifts right, celebrate the day properly, yadda yadda. For father's day (not even in Caps) I get asked what I want...

When I reply, pretty much what you did, I get a funny look.

Hey, I'm married, and have kids and a nice house... What more could I want? Bring on the gas cards, homemade gifts (got 2 this morning from the boys) and some spare time to watch sports on TV.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I missed the suggestion in the previous comment... Nose-hair trimmer!

Bring it on!!!

WILLIAM said...

I don't like the fact that we have to share all the Advertising with Grads.

donnamites said...

You've got it SO right! I have to say you guys do it to yourselves tho!

For his 5oth Birthday, Hubby wanted a bug deflector for his truck - EASY!

Father's Day? One time we made a putting green for him on the side lawn and he yelled at us for cutting the grass too low.

He has beer whenever he wants it, so Im fresh out of ideas :-)

creative-type dad said...

WILLIAM -- I know, it's just sad.
I wouldn't be surprised if they just lumped Father's Day together with 'Dairy Month' or 'Adopt-a-Cat' Month in a year or two.

Artist Unplugged said...

Hey CTD, want to wish you a Happy Father's Day tomorrow......just imagine Lionel Richie singing directly to you with crumbs of KFC around his mouth!!!!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

That's all I wanted also a nice relaxing day in a suite at a hotel room and a pile of my favorite books and all I got was a gas card!!! :)

Came over from Tales from the Dad Side.

creative-type dad said...

Artist Unplugged -- That's just oddly weird. Yet fascinating.

tiffeny said...

I agree dad's are often forgotten. There should be more lavished gifts offered for them. Happy Father's Day!!

Larew said...

You will note that they also strategically placed Father's Day so it would occur AFTER school is out for they year, canceling out any opportunity for the wee ones to make little tributes to their beloved daddies in school. The dads got OWNED on this one.

Cat Lady

Anonymous said...

I like to visit your blog about online friends and searching girls and boys for fun. I have a social networking website and indian friends online community to get more friends to be reached our personal and official friendship.

Indian Friends Online Community

Social Network website

Make Money Online

dwayne said...

hey i'm all about the beer holster as well, but i have to say...a new garage floor coating would have been a fantastic gift. you know, my wife bought be a new road bike (pedal, fuji roubaix) which is a GREAT gift...but i gotta say, the breakfast that i shared with her and my baby was the highlight of my day.