Sunday, March 04, 2007
Wanted: Somebody To Discreetly Take Away The New Drum Set The Neighbor Kid Just Got
Actually, I think I just want to hire some muscle or “Dog: the Bounty Hunter.” I don't care what it costs - take my MINI Cooper (the oil changes are freakin' expensive anyway, and I don't even want to know what it cost to change the brakes.) This kid needs to be stopped!
Our new obnoxious neighbors just keep getting worse. We use to live in what we considered the 'best neighborhood this side of the Mississippi' or this side of 'the 5' (L.A. reference.)
The neighbors are great, most have kids (we have one too), we watch each others pets while gone, we have block parties on major summer holidays. Everybody gets along, drinks respectable wine, and we have quite a diverse set of families. Sure, the wife and I aren't 100% completely happy with our house, we would like more space and the yard is small, but we're fine with it - because it's hard to find good neighbors.
Enter the new "family". Essentially a porn producer, his teenage son, and his girlfriend (actually she's no 'girl' anymore...) She’s this middle-aged Asian woman with a bad boob job (size DD & D), dresses like Lindsay Lohan (just wrong, especially on this woman) and has some weird eyelid surgery thing going on which makes her look like a Muppet with heavy makeup (or a really bad transvestite that just walked away from a train accident.) Oh, and did I mention she owns some massage parlors around town (so I've heard...)
I’m not even going to start on the dude of the house.
O.K. I understand these people need to make a living to pay for their big fancy hoopty SUV's and LCD TV's in their gold trimmed bathroom, right? I get that. But they're not to nicest people; they're really rude to everybody and make no qualms about it, even to the point of blocking driveways.
Then they give the kid a drum set and let him play at 10pm with the window open. What's wrong with this world!?
While taking out the trash cans tonight, I saw a box for an electric guitar. Just great - I'm guessing he's scoring his dad's films with that "chika-chika, waa-waa" music...
This is no place to raise a kid.