Wednesday, October 17, 2007

An Open Letter To A Parent That Buys A Hooker Halloween Costume For Their Daughter


Cry-Out Loud’s Mike wrote about this over at Babble and I had something to add.

To the parent that thinks it's "cute" to buy those slutty costumes for your girl,

You have failed as a parent. What are you thinking? It is NOT cute to dress your little girl in fishnet stockings, platform boots, exposed midriffs, vinyl whatever or anything resembling a Bratz doll. What are you raising your daughter to be anyways? Pregnant at 14.
It's beyond comprehension why you (a parent) would purchase this stuff. Maybe some of you do it because you want to live vicariously through your daughter? I find that utterly sick. And I wonder why any father would allow his daughter to dress like that? I find that even more disturbing (it’s our JOB to guard our daughters.)

And for those that allow their pre-teen, teenage daughter’s to buy the stuff that’s even worse – you must literally be smoking crack in some cave in Riverside. You are obviously oblivious as to how a teenage boys’ mind works. Let me remind you - the brain is 99.999% controlled by the penis; you’ve just tipped the scale to 340. I know some people are still in denial about this, but it is true. In fact, some grown men still haven't grown out of this. Yes, I know this information bothers people, but it is a reality - deal with it.
What message are you trying to convey to your daughter?

I’m not some freak or prude, I'm a normal parent who is actually pretty liberal. In fact if a grown woman wanted to walk around showing her boobs, God bless her, she's grown and that's her choice - BUT I draw that line at sexualizing little girls. Be a parent! They don't deserve to be thrown into the adult world. They'll have the rest of their lives to deal with that.

And to those companies that markets this stuff. What are you thinking? I hope this stuff sits in a landfill or ends up on some adult store's clearance rack in Tijuana where it could make some midget strippers day (or year.)

Sincerely,
Tony
(Not by any means a perfect Dad, but trying to be...)

49 comments:

painted maypole said...

i posted about these skanky costumes (but the adult take on it) on Monday!

Excellent letter. it really is SCARY. I work at a preschool, and two of the girls told me they were going to be Bratz things for Halloween. Preschoolers.

Mrs. Chicken said...

AMEN! My daughter will be dressed in head-to-toe fleece in her mouse costume. Sexualizing children is disgusting. Great post, Tony.

cerebralmum said...

I'm an extremely liberal person. And this stuff is without a doubt grotesque.

Whit said...

How many years were candy cigarettes around? It's a different example but similar in the fact that it is taking something very adult and glorifying it for children. Disgusting.

I'm a pretty liberal guy too and I don't think that has much to do with it. A child is a child and shouldn't be encouraged to be otherwise.

God, this stuff makes me so mad I can't even tell if I'm making sense. I'm agreeing with you if my rambling hasn't made that obvious.

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

As a mom of all boys, I'll let those with daughters me the voice for these costumes.

I do think the sexualizing of girls is crazy and not a good crazy.

Seems like everywhere we turn, kids are being forced to grow up before their time. Schools, clothes, movies....sigh

Lisa said...

Amen to that!! I don't know who I get more angry at - the manufactureres for making crap like this, the stores for selling it, or the neglectful parents for allowing kids to buy and wear it? It's way beyond the Halloween costumes too. Sad!

kellyo75 said...

I agree wholeheartedly. I get so frustrated at parents when I see them walking alongside their little girl dressed like a tramp. I mean, WHO does that?? I know for a fact my husband will not let my daughter out of the house like that and you know what I think? Good! You're absolutely right. That is daddy's job to protect their little girls (and boys for that matter!) You are doing a great job, Dad!!

Brianne said...

I'd like to print out copies of this post and pass it out to all pre-teen tramps that knock on my door this year :) (including the comments)

wayabetty said...

AMEN to that Tony!! I was watching the news last night and was so disturbed about that pedophile who raped that 2 y/o girl! And all I can think of is my Sophia, who is 2.5 y/o, and this little girl's life will never be the same. And what are these companies doing, feeding to those sick pedophile's minds.

I hope they ripped him apart in jail! Screw that "innocence until proven guilty"!

Maureen said...

Well, my daughter had to wait until she was 16 before I'd let her get a Bat Girl suit last year... at least it covered her up! Before that, poor thing was costumed in everything from a furry bunny suit to Princess Leia (all of which had to have a snow suit fit underneath - a staple during cold Canadian Octobers). A photo of the Princess is on my last post, in fact....

Momish said...

Great post! I was in shock when I was looking for a costume for my daughter. I kept checking to make sure I was in the toddler/kid section!!! It's disgusting.

Kerrie said...

I totally agree. I don't even like to see toddlers in bikini's.

Can I just say that I think it's beyond awesome to see a dad who cares so much? Well done!

chanchow said...

a couple years ago a pre-teen girl came to our house dressed as a playboy bunny.

(un)relaxeddad said...

This is why Halloween should only be allowed in countries where the temperature drops below freezing in October. I don't know how parents can ever contemplate those appalling Bratz items - and as for Bratz Babies. Mind you, we've got a girl arriving in December. all going well, so all this marketing pressure's about to be squarely pointed in our direction.

cry it out! said...

Very well said, my friend. I definitely fault the parents over the companies, as it's the parents who buy this stuff. Great letter!

Mike

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Awesome. I completely agree, this sexualization of our little girls is way outta hand.

Great post, now if we could just get the parents who allow these slutty costumes to read this...

Gretchen said...

Hear Hear!!

Pageant Mom said...

Sigh.

the one on the left, not so bad
the one on the right, terrible

I remember last year, the pageant world rocked because someone dressed their 4 year old up as a....

Hooter's Girl!!!!!

Gizmo is going as Hannah Montana, which is great, because all I have to do is buy a wig, a microphone and some clothes she can wear anyway LOL

Sad thing is, if nobody bought it, they wouldn't sell it. So what's that say about society??

carrie said...

I couldn't agree more. I have the boy version of this up at my place!

Jenster said...

AMEN!!! My daughter is going to be 13 next week and the clothes that have been available to her in the CHILDREN'S SECTION over the last several years have been shocking. We have a rule. No hooker clothes.

The Father of Five said...

My wife and I were just talking about the "Pimp" costume for boys... YOUNG BOYS?!??!?!

What the....

courtneyryan369 said...

Go Dad! (You sound like my dad when I was little.)
I don't have a kid, but I do have a little sister who I'm in charge of for "wardrobe concerns". If I have to hear one more time "Kara's Dad/Mom lets her, why can't you be cooler?" I might scream.
Thank you for being one of those Dad's that says NO!

megachick said...

amen, brother.
pooka wants to be sharpay from HSM.

Whirlwind said...

AMEN!

Above Average Joe said...

Exactly! I'll go with the "vicariously through your daughter" excuse.

Idiots.

Ruth Dynamite said...

Rock on, Tony!

Jackie said...

Amen.
It really baffles me, too that fathers will let their little girls go out like that. I absolutely would not let my daughter get away with anything hookerish, but my husband?! Oh, hell no! I think if my daughter was wearing anything close to any of those costumes he would implode.

creative-type dad said...

Jackie -- ...As any father should!

The Father of Five -- a pimp for a young boy? What do you expect when little girls are dressing like this?

Jenster -- I am not looking forward to those days ahead. It's already ridiculous at some of the stuff they sell for toddler girls.

chanchow -- a tween dressed a playboy bunny?! I can't even say how wrong that is. If a parent were around I would have given my opinion.

wayabetty -- I heard a little about that, but I just can't bear to hear any details - it's just too depressing that anybody would do something so horrible to a child.

Queen of Shake-Shake -- that is a problem. I think adults are pushing kids to become adults way more than the kids. TV show, ads, movies, they're bombarded with it.

kittenpie said...

I completely agree. I think it's creepy and dangerous and a damaging message to give about a girl's sense of where her self-worth comes from.

Diana said...

i agree whole heartedly.

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

TRIPLE AMEN, BROTHER!

HOLY WTF IS UP WITH THOSE COSTUMES???

Denguy said...

Holy Crap! You're so-o-o-o-o right.

Lisa said...

Yeah, I about fell over the other day when looking at costumes. I just don't get WHY some adults would think its ok to buy some of the hoochie costumes that are out there for their little girls. Gah.

Well written!

The Real Mother Hen said...

What a good post!
I couldn't agree more.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Great post. I was disturbed to see the Target's "Bunny" costume for little girls comes with a little bowtie, a la Playboy---for sizes 4-6! Ick.

h&b said...

Hmm - i'm starting to think NOT celebrating Halloween in Australia is a good thing after all...

Look what happened to poor Britney Spears. You can bet HER parents allowed whorestume wearing.

creative-type dad said...

h&b -- Halloween isn't a bad idea. It's always been a fun holiday for kids - when I was a kid it was my favorite second to only Christmas.
It's only turned only when this stuff crept in.

Fairly Odd Mother -- What? At Target! Say it isn't so...

Redneck Mommy said...

I'm debating emailing (anonymously of course...wouldn't want to get beat up) to my sister in law and her husband.

Because they seem to take great delight in sending their three girls out dressed as tarts and tramps. It makes me sick to my stomach each time and of course, then my daughter wants to know why she has to wear a sheet with holes cut out for eyes when her cousins get to dress like they are twirling the pole.

My husband and I just hang our heads in shame...

radioactive girl said...

My daughter is almost 10, and finding her an appropriate costume has been extremely difficult!

ltrowbri said...

Here's something grossly inappropriate...
How about a six year old in peewee cheerleading reciting a cheer that goes something like this, "Boys have the muscles, coach has the brains, girls have the sexy legs to help win the games." Ok, I'm not a prude, but why should a 6 year old girl be saying that? Why does the coach deem that appropriate and why the hell aren't the parents outraged like I am? I don't even have kids

creative-type dad said...

Redneck Mommy -- I would be saying something. Maybe not directly but in general about how dumb some parents can be when it comes to hoochie costumes for kids.

ltrowbri -- That's depressing. But then again, I'm not a fan of the whole cheerleading thing. Unless it's in that movie "Bring It On"

mama speak said...

I saw an interview of Chris Rock talking about having a daughter; "My job as her father is to just keep her off the pole. One job, that's it, keep her off the pole."

I thought it was funny at the time (especially because he named his daughter Lola) but now I realize what a hard job it is.

Anonymous said...

When my sister and I were teens, we went to a Cheap Trick concert and bought the T-shirts. Our father confiscated them. We didn't even get it, so we wondered why. It would have been horrifying to have teen girls running around wearing T-shirts that simply said "Cheap Trick" on the front! Dad was a huge jerk, but I'm glad he took the T-shirts.

Ryan said...

I came across pimp costumes for boys and I think that is equally as bad. In a sense the kid looks funny in such a silly costume with a hat, but when you think about what that means and that pimps inflict sheer terror and control over "their" women, it's a disgrace that any parent would not fully realize that. That would be like dressing up a child as a sex trafficking handler and calling it cute.

mom huebert said...

Hear! Hear! I agree TOTALLY! Thanks for writing this.

Rock the Cradle said...

All hail this season's "fuck me" costumes for kids!

What's disturbing is that anything can become normal, or "not so bad" once you get acclimated to it.

That goes for anything. Bullying, gang violence, sexual abuse,

...war.

These are truly scary costumes.

Anonymous said...

While this is truly disgusting, I'm equally shocked at those with the attitude that, "if my prom date or some other grown woman wants to where this, fine." When young girls see grown women dressed like that, what are they supposed to think? Unless the parents have done a great job of explaining the problem to their girls, how are those they supposed to ignore that? They will think that is what society expects of them.

Whether we like it or not, all of us adults are role models in some form. It's disengenuous (and hypocritical) to say it's ok for grown women to look like sluts and hookers, then parent as though that's not what you want your little girl to become. What that's going to create is a young women who can't wait to get out from under her parent's thumb so she can act and dress like a "grown up".

I'll get off my soap box now, but that is just a huge sore point with me.

So, thanks for the great observation about these costumes. It needed to be said.

Stacie said...

Hi, I surfed in from Scarlett's place. We are fairly young parents, mid to late 30's with two teenage boys. My husband commented to my last night when we were out after seeing some teenage girls out in their slutwear, "thank GOD we don't have girls, cuz there's no way in HELL I'd allow her out in fishnet stockings, I don't care what everyone else is wearing!" (sorry to cuss on your blog) but I thought wow...you know, he's so right, we would so not be the 'cool' parents, we'd be the ones that care, like you. It sickens me when these "parents" don't do what they can to protect their children and allowing this kind of dress on Halloween or any other day of the year is going just that..not protecting thier kids. the girls in highschool dress like this daily, with the addition of their thongs and bra straps hanging out of their low slung jeans and crop top shirts and I just want to strangle their parents with rusty chains. Hell, why stop there? Why not just put a sign on her back that says "teen for sale" It's sickening!
It's so refreshing to see other parents out there that care, especially Dads because so often the dads are just blind to it all and that's even worse...
Stacie

Anonymous said...

I am a teen girl. I totally hate how most of the girls are so slutty on halloween!!!!!! Its almost impossible to find a good (not slutty) costume!!!!! I am sooooo sick of it!!!!!! I just cant stand it!!!! I mean we are only 13!!!!! I cant believe how bad they are its terrible!!!!!! But basically the ones who are sluts are the ones with parents that dress them like that and then they start drinking and drugs!!!!!! Soooooo sick of it!!!!!!!!!!


13 year old girl