Monday, March 24, 2008

The Easter Bunny Must Be Living Large In Beverly Hills

I’m sure of it. And he's probably living in a huge mansion somewhere in between Hugh Heffner’s and Lionel Richie’s. And he must have a Bentley for each day of the year too.

How does the Easter bunny afford such luxuries of fancy cars, gold chained eggs, well-endowed neighbors, and extraordinary love music at his beckon call? Well, Saturday afternoon the wife and I took our daughter to get her picture taken with him and the packages started at $35!
And his setup at the mall was packed with an eager crowd practically holding up $100 dollar bills in the air. That bunny was probably pushing about 600 kids an hour through there.... it was like some kind of bunny picture taking assembly line:

Bunny Helper #1: (placed daughter quickly on very large bunny) Don’t move on the bunny. Don't touch the bunny. Don't look at the bunny...
Bunny Helper #2: Smile little girl (tooting clown horn *snap*)
Bunny Helper #3: (on cell phone while removing daughter) Like, Omi-gawd! Blah, blah, blah...
Bunny Helper #4: Stand on the OTHER side of the fence AWAY from the bunny, please...

I don’t think that bunny ever moved. And he was making millions by the second just by sitting there doing nothing.

After I paid for the lowest priced package, I couldn't help but to wonder about the Easter Bunny's lifestyle the rest of the year...

Yaught in "the keys"

with a “Star Trek Bridge” themed screening room.

Home gambling den (with Scarface poster)

“The Rolls” with a PS3 system in the trunk

Hot Tub, Women, and Don Perignon

With Lionel Richie at his housewarming party

52 comments:

Steph in AK said...

ROFL, great bunny pics! And to think, your lucky readers got them for free ;)

Amrita said...

I somehow feel the Easter Bunny has replaced the Christ of Easter.
Happy Easter

Mama DB said...

Ha! This reminded me of the seeing Santa scene in A Christmas Story! Ah, the holidays. Such a joyous time.

Nicole P said...

Ha!! This made my howl!! Too funny!
But you just wait til your little one gets in school and they send home forms for those darned school photos 3 times a year. Wait til you see the prices on those suckers! Gasp!!

Roth Family Adventures said...

Lucky rabbit.

lotus07 said...

Hey, this is my second job....how do you think I can make all the alimony payments to all the ex-mrs. bunnies with all those damn kids!!!!! (talk about breeding like rabbits).

Tiff said...

And that is why I bought our very own expensive camera so we don't have to pay for the absurdity. LOL! I'm sure the Easter Bunny is on a jet to his spring home in Europe by now!

mama speak said...

I'll bet the bunny started out as a majority stock holder in Trix and it's grown from there.

Once they get a taste of the sweet life those wrascally wrabbits can't seem to get enough. I'm sure he's on his lear on his way back to his winter home in Dubai right now.

Did you think that diamonds being measured in karats was a coinsidence???

Artist Unplugged said...

Celebs these days....what can you say? Bunny must be livin' large!

Sarah O. said...

Thanks for lots of laughs!

clandelaney said...

He needs all that cash to support his hare-em. Oh! Bad puns, back of the line!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Yeah, that's why we don't take the kids to see Easter Bunny. I mean, of course he doesn't talk. He just sits there, thinking about fornicating with girl bunnies, so he can have baby bunnies, all the while hoping he didn't mix the chocolate eggs up with the poo pellets in his workshop.

Wow. $35? Gold-plated memories, man. Sorry.

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

Don't even get me started are snooty rich bunnies. Peter Cottontail, Rabbit (Pooh's friend), the Easter bunny, I am telling ya, they hoard the goods.

KATE said...

I so hear ya! That damn Easter Bunny! & for how "pimped" out you'd think he'd be his costume is CHEEZY!

Java said...

Hey there Creative-Dad, thank for popping by my blog and leaving a comment, it made me smile!
I enjoy your blog and will visit again, please feel free to do the same.

kittenpie said...

They take easter Bunny pictures? Wow. We haven't even braved Santa yet. That is just too crazy. I guess when the bunny saw the pimpin' sleight that santa rides, what with the eight attendants and all, he decided to get in on that racket.

creative-type dad said...

Nicole P -- Are you telling me the Easter Bunny has branched out? You're scaring me...

Coal Miner's Granddaughter -- Poo-pellets... Isn't that chocolate eggs?

kittenpie -- You don't have an Easter Bunny near you? Wow, maybe I need to get a costume and start making some money.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Why you pickin on Lionel G? He ain't never done nothing to you!!

Just cuz he's in tight with the bunny...

Hallie :)

creative-type dad said...

I'm not dissing the Lionel! In fact, I've been to one of his concerts:

Read about it here

Beck said...

We had bunnies living in the bush behind our house and then they got some sort of grim bunny disease where the fur fell out and then they died. The Easter bunny has forgotten where he came from, OBVIOUSLY.

Redneck Mommy said...

My kids are still trying to figure out why the bunny had sex with the chicken and stole all the eggs.

I love warping my children.

Maureen said...

Bunny photos??? OMG. Glad my daughter is grown... Santa was enough. What's next; Jack Skellington photo ops at Halloween???

Hey, waitaminutethere.... now THAT would be cool!

Pageant Mom said...

Yo, yo, yo... don't forget to give props to his Peeps too!!!

;o)

The Real Mother Hen said...

$35???
Ok dude, next year I'm going to LA and make some extra cash!

Beverly said...

My oldest kid was so scared of anyone in a costume that we never got into visiting Santa or the Easter Bunny, etc. My other two kids would be fine with it, but we don't go. I guess I'm saving some money there.

Whit said...

Wow, I knew I was being frugal by posing with a real rabbit, but I didn't know I was saving that kind of cash. Good thing that little guy hopped in front of the car.

h&b said...

Sounds like you took your daughter to a lapdancing establishment.

Although I think THEY sit on YOU, but you're not allowed to touch or look at them either.

Everything I know I learned from television, mind you.

Dad Stuff said...

I guess the real money is in bunny suits.
Maybe I can make some money charging kids for pictures with a real Mom on Mother's Day. As long as it is at the Mall, people will pay.l

Marc Acito said...

These photos remind me of my friends Halle and Rick, who took a velvet painting of Elvis around the world with them recently. They have pictures of Elvis at the Taj Mahal, the Great Wall of China, Angkor Wat, etc.

Stumbled on your blog for the first time this morning and really enjoyed it. Looking forward to reading more.

creative-type dad said...

Marc Acito -- That's cool! I almost bought an Elvis velvet down in Tijuana years ago. The guys wanted $6 for it and wouldn't go down to $3.

h&b -- Uh, yeah "TV"...sure...

Maureen -- That's a good idea. You can be Jack Skellington or the Great Pumpkin...

Beck -- Wow, that's scary. It's like a bunny plague hit your town. That or bunny VD.

beaverhausen said...

I knew it!

The Easter Bunny is a P-I-M-P

Andrea said...

So that's how he affords all the eggs and candy!

Daddy Forever said...

You funny guy. Something tells me the $35 bunny wouldn't work in the Portland area. We're all on welfare up here.

Laura said...

It all makes sense now. I sensed a change in his attitude lately. He's quit leaving thank you notes for the carrots we leave out for him Ungrateful jerk!

wayabetty said...

WHAT?! No KFC party for the bunny?

JCK said...

That BUNNY must be raking it in. After all he obviously has to pay for those 4 bodyguards they apparently had protecting him from your daughter. Only in Beverly Hills! Or maybe not...

Glad to have found your blog. Through Andrea's link at "Mom to the Fey."

mamatulip said...

LMFAO.

It's true. The Easter Bunny is livin' large, laughing at all of us suckas.

furiousBall said...

whoa, lionel rolls LARGE too. that bunny is mackin'

Denguy said...

Dat bunny has nice bling.

By the way, who's Don Perignon?

creative-type dad said...

Denguy -- Don is the 'king of champagnes', kind of like how Miller is the 'king of beers'. In fact, I think they're friends and they sometimes hang out at Lionel's place.

WHAT?! No KFC party for the bunny?

wayabetty -- Yes, that was a tough call on the KFC...
The Easter Bunny lays chicken eggs, so that would make him a bit of a carnie if he ate chicken.

It's all just a moral dilemma....

andi said...

Our Easter Bunny must live in a trailer park because I've never seen him pimp himself out for kid pictures. He must be pissed that his LA cousin is living so large.

Ok, Where Was I? said...

I've been trying to figure out what job I could do that wouldn't use my degrees and would allow me to pay off my student loans. I think I just need to invest in a bunny and santa costumes. Thanks for the tip!

Carmi said...

I've long believed that Easter Bunny/Santa/fill-in-holiday-character-here photos were a big rip. That and the fact that we don't celebrate the holidays. That might be a limiting factor, too.

So to compensate, I'll occasionally bring my SLR to the mall, fitted with the Big Long Lens. They usually build their little villages on the ground floor, in the middle of a big atrium-like area. I go upstairs, surreptitiously prep the camera, then carefully lean over and call out to the costumed one as I trigger off a series of photos.

Great fun. And free!

marsha said...

None of my children would go and sit on the bunny's lap. They didn't like Santa either.

I love the Star Trek screening room picture. I gotta get a room like that. :)

Russell said...

Still laughing about your Easter Bunny story! I just stumbled across your blog and will put it on my list so I make sure to come back.

Very good and most enjoyable!! Now I know what that rabbit does the rest of the year!

dennis said...

Well, it's finally happened the neighbor's daughter came over last Saturday and confronted the imps on their belief in the Easter Bunny and bullied them into questioning us as the reality that is 'The Bunny'.

I am sorry to state that the likelihood of said neighbor girl ever visiting our home within the next 6 years is very very slim!

the weirdgirl said...

This means nothing. Lionel Richie will take pictures with anybody.

K said...

Good thing my child runs screaming at any giant Easter Bunny and told me that the Easter Bunny is not real. Rabbits, like REAL rabbits are real, but not the Easter Bunny. I think she was picturing one like in your pictures...silly wabbit.

Leslie said...

We didn't even take my daughter to see the bunny this year. Why? Because last year we went and it was stupid. We paid 20 bucks for a CD of her picture and you couldn't even see her it was so far away. Plus, the bunny was scary. No thank you! I'll dress up as a damn bunny before I do that again. ;)

Besides, I'm not contributing to that lifestyle. Lionel Richie? Now that means trouble.

creative-type dad said...

dennis -- You need to get a costume and walk over to that's girls house with baseball bat. Or just send her a strongly worded letter.

Carmi -- I did that once with a friend so it looked like I was with Carmen Electra.

radioactive girl said...

Way too funny! I didn't take my kids this year because I knew it would cost a fortune that I'd rather save for college...my oldest is now 10 and it feels like it is going way too fast!

Sanjay said...

These are all nice every guys picture wish they all the best.