Friday, May 29, 2009

Ronald McDonald Is Evil and Has Bad Taste In Music Too

I told my daughter McDonald's burned down – all over the place - and that we can never go there again.
Why? Because of the Kidz Bop CD’s they were giving out with the Happy Meals.

For the last 9 months after her Ballet class I’ve always taken her to the nearby McDonald's for dinner. Its become our little once a week tradition that we both look forward to.
Sitting there almost feels like we’re in an 80’s commercial: a 3-year-old dressed in her Ballet clothes with Dad across the table usually instructing her how the Happy Meal toy works.
But this day was different; she got a Kidz Bop CD and asked to play it in the car.

That was one long drive home…

Why has no one given me a proper warning me about this? The CD label should at least have a warning label on it that says, “WARNING: KIDZ SINGING ON THIS CD HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO MUSICAL TALENT WHATSOEVER.”

I stopped the CD at the Kidz version of “Funkytown”, which by the way is an alteration Lipps, Inc probably never intended, and told my daughter that the CD broke.

“It’s like a sticker, you can only use it once” and then changed the subject.

Later, I threw it in the recycling bin hoping they could melt in into something useful like Wii’s, iPhones, flying cars, or better yet Happy Meal Lego toys. Until then, I have a 3-year-old that won’t stop asking when I’m taking her to Funkytown.

Has anybody else encountered bad kids music? Have you discovered "good" kids music? Or does that even exist...?


sam {temptingmama} said...

Carter keeps asking for the "kid rock band CD" which totally makes me cringe. I just don't have the heart to tell him I snapped it in two and threw it in the garbage.

What an utter load of crap those CD's are. LOL

SciFi Dad said...

Those CDs are the bane of my existence as well.

As for "good" kids music, unless you can get your kid into safe popular music, you're pretty much screwed. Even stuff like the Doodlebops (which, at first listen, gets a "no bad" response from most adults) becomes ear-bleedingly awful after the 1000th play.

My daughter's actually getting into the Disney Princess movies and learning the songs from those, so we're all about "Part of this World" (Little Mermaid) right now.

for a different kind of girl said...

When we've gotten those CDs (and sadly, we've got some of the full-blown Kidz Bop CDs. A song about adultry as sung by children is incredibly not awesome!), I hold them up to my ear, shake them, inform the boys that Oh NO! They're broken! and then I can throw them out. So far, they've not caught on to me!

They Might Be Giants have had some fun kids CDs out that don't make me want to claw my eyes out. Sadly, my oldest now thinks he's graduated onto Black Eyed Peas. Kidz Bop almost sounds good in retrospect.

furiousBall said...

yeah, i love the whole concept. let's get a buttload of kids in a recording studio for a day, let them all scream along to a karaoke machine and sell the hell out of these things.

laesmralda said...

My three year old daughter loves Jason Mraz and She & Him. :)

MegaShots said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MegaShots said...

Glad to see something got you to stop eating at Mickey D's! It be for the better all together.

sari said...

I have a friend who just blogged about kids music cds. I don't get it. I grew up listening to the Beatles (and that sort of stuff) and I just play what I listen to or like for my kids. I hate Kids Bop. My 10 year old got a kids bop cd and we let the baby scratch it up so it doesn't work. It's horrid. I just don't like music aimed at kids, it's like they all think kids are idiots or something.

I say boycott and if they lyrics aren't horrible, let them listen to the real stuff.

dadwhowrites said...

I've trained him from birth. No kids CDs, no free crap...His favourite band remains the Arcade Fire, he can name Nick Cave albums and he really doesn't like the Clash (grave lapse of taste!). We have our CDs mostly stored in big folders of two to four hundred and we take it in turns each morning to choose one. He mostly goes by the covers but I think he enjoys the whole ritual of choosing and the bright covers etc.

Yesterday, it was an old Orbital LP. He didn't like it particularly. Day before, the Black Rider which he really enjoyed and rewound several tracks.

cryngfreeman said...

I teach preschool, so I have no choice than to obey the powers that be and play kids' cds. ALL. DAY. EVERY. DAY.

For a Different Kind of Girl was right, TMBG has some quirky, fun kids cds, as does Kenny Loggins and Jack Johnson.

I fool the kids into listening to things that I like, such as the Brak albums, and a mixed cd of cartoon/kids show theme songs from the 80's and 90's. I mean, come on, who doesn't feel a little excited (and clap along) to the Fraggle Rock theme song?

My one reprieve is listening to the radio one day a week, tuned in to the "soft rock" station of course, for Flashback Friday. It's all 80's all the time. It strikes me funny that I can listen to that, (Have you LISTENED to the lyrics of Wild, Wild West? LOL), but it's as "grown up" as I'm allowed to be in the classroom with the music.

So believe you me, my ipod gets a workout after work.....I crave REAL music after 10.5 hrs a day with 4/5 yr olds. :)

cryngfreeman said...

LOL I also pass off anime theme songs as "multicultural" because they're in Japanese. :D

Josh Blair said...

I second They Might Be Giants, with "Here Come the ABCs" being the best and "Here Come the 123s" at a distant second.

Also, I enjoy some of the Raffi albums. The best are "Singable Songs," "Baby Beluga" and "One Light One Sun."

Artist Unplugged said...

I was fortunate enough to skip over this phase with my two.......take that girl to funkytown!

Beck said...

We managed to completely avoid all of the horrible Kids Singing Questionable Adult Music crap, but now my 10 year old likes Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. I am trying to attain a state of pure aural zen.

FilmFather said...

With two boys and only one stop at McD's during the Kidz Bop CD prizes, I've got only one volume, with 5 songs. And lucky me, they both got the same one, so there's one copy for the car, and one for the house! No escape...NO ESCAPE!

It's quite surreal to hear my 3-year-old singing "Shorty, I can take you there..."

Ben and Bennie said...

There is no "good" kids music. Ben is addicted to an Elmo Sings CD. Ever hear that evil Muppet sing The Beatles' "Drive My Car"? I'd rather listen to a drowning cat. At least the Kidz didn't cover "Dancing on the Ceiling."

creative-type dad said...

Bennie --- If Kidz Bop ever did a remake of 'Dancing on the Ceiling', I'm convinced the world would end.

FilmFather -- I guess it could be worse, she could be singing the Kidz Bops revision of a Pussycat Dolls songs.

Beck -- I think that's what happens to most parents. Kids just like their "pop" music. It's the bad remakes that concerns me.

Josh Blair -- Raffi?!?!?!?! Raffi?!?!?!?!

cryngfreeman -- I'm trying to get my daughter into old Depeche Mode songs right now. (the Catching up with Depeche Mode version, not the Black Celebration version.)

painted maypole said...

when MQ broke her Jo Jo's Circus CD when she was 3 I introduced her to the Beatles. And that was the end of kids music in the car.

although Bare Naked Ladies has a fine kid's CD called Snacktime.

Baby care said...

That's so funny funky town! but those songs were for the kids not elders so just chill and tell your daughter the truth.

Jessica said...

With 4 kids, I have found the few alternatives to traditional kids music listed below to be a necessity. The rest of the time we try and just listen to regular music. I have found that kids usually also like classical music if you get them trying to figure out the story that the music is 'telling'.

One of the alternative radio stations here in Portland runs a kids show on Saturday mornings from 8-9 (I believe you should be able to listen to it online).

One of our favorite bands is also Captain Bogg & Salty.

Good luck in your search.


The Real Mother Hen said...

Ha :)

Dude, I'm surprised that you didn't take her to KFC (as opposed to McDonald's)!

creative-type dad said...

The Real Mother Hen -- I've tried that, it's just too far away from the ballet. KFC needs to open more!

painted maypole -- Seems like mine is taking a liking to Disco and Elvis music right now. Elvis I can live with, the Disco is a bit tougher, but much easier to handle than Kidz Bops.

mama speak said...

my kids listen to my music, end of story. they are both HUGE Pink fans. Daddy's into industrial rock & while I'm NOT, it does crack me up when I turn on the radio after he's been in the car & they both immediately start head banging.

Only problem w/this is that they want MY ipod all the time! I got them knock offs for X-mas, but sometimes they still would prefer mine.

Stephanie said...

Oh, yes, we got the Kidz Bop cd too...ours featured "Life is a Highway" and "Big Girls Don't Cry" (lyrics altered to say "The smell of the AIR lingers on me" Oddly enough, a car battery issue killed the cd player shortly after we received the disc, and it's trapped/unplayable in the device now.

It sounds like you're not big on the "For Kids" music genre. I'll admit, I'm kind of sad to see my kids getting past the point where they enjoy that music...never thought I'd say that! I'm even a little sentimental about Barney these days.

For quality kids' music, check out the "Green Chile Jam Band" out of New Mexico!

'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why! said...

I traded the Kidz Bop CD for a regular crappy-meal toy (they will if you ask). My 3 year old likes 80's rock, Craig Morgan, andthe Cars soundtrack - Sheryl Crow and Brad Paisley I can deal with. When my 8 year old was 3 he was a Kid Rock fan (the "cleaner" versions-radio edits), now he likes Johnny Cash. The 13 year old loves "Harper Valley PTA" (please don't ask) and pretty much anything on the country top 40 list. Nary a Barney lover among them.

'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why! said...

If your girlie doesn't go for any "grwn-up" music, look for Laurie Berkner - her music is catchy, targeted to the preschool set, and she can actually sing. I love her bits on Noggin. Check her out on YouTube.

Jackie said...

Gah. Kidz Bop CDs.
Worst. McDonald's. Toy. Ever.
I've finally gotten rid of ours w/o the kids noticing.
There are a few kids CDs that I like. Philadelphia Chickens, John Lithgow's "Singing in the Bathtub," and They Might Be Giants' "No" top my list.

alissa4illustration said...

I can't stand Kidz Bop either! My son got that as well. Luckily he doesn't ask for it to be played.

Try They Might be Giants "Here Come the 123's" or "No". Both are good. I guess Radio Head made a kids CD, but I've never heard it, so I can't recommend it.

Denise said...

Ahh! I just came across your blog and I'm so sad that people think there is NO good kids music! Let's see:
TMBG as mentioned above... amazing. Ralph's World: every album has a few songs I could even listen to without the kids. The Beatles. Bob Marley. Jack Johnson, I love but the kids... not so much. Wee Hairy Beasties (animal crackers is our current favorite song by them). Ummm...basically almost all the indie kids music found here:

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