Monday, April 30, 2012

Another Drop in the Bucket List

Do you have a bucket list? I do. And one of the many items on my list was riding a mechanical bull, preferably somewhere in Texas.

My first attempt at this dream was about 9 years ago in San Antonio while the wife and I were visiting some good friends out there. But unfortunately things didn’t quite end up as expected as we both came down with some really bad food poisoning from a Tex-Mex restaurant.
Although, all was not lost as I was able to visit the Alamo and ask a friendly guide where the basement was (another check off that bucket list.) That was also the day I saw a transvestite with a cowboy hat, big blonde wig, and really hairy legs help open the bathroom door for my sick wife (not on the bucket list.)

He/she was really considerate despite the bad choices in western wear.

For my birthday this year, my (amazing) wife surprised me by taking me to a place called “Big Bubba’s Bad BBQ” in Paso Robles, CA. and wouldn’t you know it – they’ve got a mechanical bull! A REAL one, not one of those fake ones found at the 20-something hipster bars out here in West Hollywood or Universal CityWalk.

Some facts I’ve discovered about mechanical bull riding many may not be aware of:
  1. Minimum age to ride is 6-years old. Yes, “6”. No, I’m not joking. I asked my daughter if she wanted to try and she replied, “Hells No!” Well, not really. She just cried and ran away.
  2. They make you sign a waver saying that if you get sent to the hospital or die, it’s your fault because riding a bull, real or fake, is really dangerous and should NEVER be attempted by humans, ever.
  3. You get quite an AB workout. Seriously, after my 8 second ride, my abs felt like they were totally ripped. Until I actually checked them and discovered they weren’t.
  4. Mechanical bull riding looks much EASIER on T.V. I think actors do it in slow motion and then they speed up the film.
  5. Nobody can hear you scream in space or when you’re riding a mechanical bull. I’m totally convinced of that because they didn’t turn it off when I screamed “STOP” multiple times like a little girl just before I was thrown off onto a padded floor that smelled like beer and BBQ sauce. I actually got up and had BBQ sauce in my mouth.
My wife took a video of the whole incident on her iPhone. She was laughing the entire time until the moment I flew off, then yelled, “Oh my God! Please don’t be dead!!”

Obviously she was aware of the waiver form.


Awesome Mom said...

I would pay good money to see that video.

Susan said...

Bull riding? I think I'll pass.

Kelly said...

Um yeah, I'm going to need to see that video too! evidence you know. LOL

Baby Gifts said...

Please, please, please, UPLOAD the video, you had me in stitches with the blog post, I can't wait to see the video evidence. This just has to be well worth watching, I so feel your

Kind Regards