The Questions 2-Year Olds Ask And How NOT To Answer

My daughter has been very inquisitive these days - she's always asking me questions such as “What are you doing Dad-DEE?”, “What’s that Dad-DEE?” It’s almost like having my own Cousin Balki. A few of my recent favorites:

Daughter: (pointing to the evening sky) What’s that, Dad-DEE?
Me: That’s a star. And it’s not in rehab
Daughter: A TAR!?! (excited)

Daughter: (pointing to a person) What’s that, Dad-DEE?
Me: That’s a man wearing a dress, you can tell because he has an Adams apple and mustache.
Daughter: A MUSTACHE!? (excited)

Daughter: (pointing to Christmas decorations at the mall - in October!!) What’s that, Dad-DEE?
Me: That’s Santa Claus. He brings presents on Christmas for everybody that goes pee-pee and poopy on the potty
Daughter: PRESS-ANTS!? (excited)

Daughter: What are you doing Dad-DEE? (playing this new Pirates game on the computer)
Me: If mommy asks, I’m paying bills
Daughter: BILLS!? (excited)

Daughter: What are you doing Dad-DEE? (honking the horn at some car that almost hit me)
Me: I’m honking the horn at that lady because she’s on crack!
Daughter: CRACK?

If she starts telling people they’re on crack the wife is going to shoot me…(again)

Random Thoughts For Tuesday

For the 1,00oth Time - I Never Tried The Breastmilk!
Why is this the only question I get from soon-to-be new Dads when their wife isn't around? Not questions about sleep, diapers, what is an appropriate age for Chuck E Cheese, etc. I hope this isn't a question I just get - because that would be really weird.
And to answer the question: I only know of one guy that did this - he was out of creamer for his coffee (that still gives me the chills!)

Father's Day 2007 Has Come and Passed
I was allowed to sleep until 8 a.m. until my daughter jumped on me yelling "Happy Birthday Daddy!" with a card she colored. Then we headed to Pasadena for the Art Chalkwalk and classic car show where I stood with some other dads staring at car engines with my arms crossed nodding in agreement about parts I knew nothing about.

Wanted: Anybody Have a Spare Cow?
I'm not sure when it happened, but somehow I can now have small conversations with my daughter (I can't even say how much I love these.) Yesterday:

Daughter: Daddy, I wanna buy cow

Me: A Cow?

Daughter: A COW

Me: Do you have money? You need money to buy a cow. But first you need a job to get money. And you need skills to get a job. Have you put any thought about your skills?

(...pause...)

Daughter: Daddy....I wanna buy bunny rabbit!

Planning The 2nd Birthday Party
My idea for a small birthday party with about 6-8 kids around my daughter's age has been compromised. We've opened it up to family, which pretty much blew away the guest count (darn you family!) Gymboree has a limit on kids (22) and now we're trying to choose between friends or family.
And we can't just invite a few family, because the ones who aren't invited might mail me a horse head.
I'm also considering getting one of those balloon making people (one who doesn't dress as a clown.) But one who might agree to dress as Colonel Sanders (he can make chicken balloon animals...!)