Tuesday, August 07, 2007

More Weird Searches And I'm Updating The Blogroll

There are some really demented people out there in the Internet world searching for the most bizarre things -- and somehow those searches end up here. Some are depressing, some interesting, and then there are those that make me think to myself "wow, my own searches aren't nearly as cool"

Here are a couple of recent searches--
  • midget porn football – This came from Germany, that explains a lot
  • andy gibb pictures nude – why? No Bee-Gee should ever be naked
  • when did joey lawrence become a dad – When Scary Spice got pregnant
  • i just found out i have a lot of cavities – dude, that sucks. Go drink some more soda
  • who did orville redenbacher grow up with – Colonel Sanders. They went to High School together (I want to start that rumor.) And I think they were snipers in Vietnam
  • paula abdul abducted by aliens – They don’t have enough alcohol to lure her
  • knight rider sketches – This one is my favorite
  • spanking in romance novels – Don’t they all have spanking by the farm boy or some ‘governor of the house’?
  • convince my husband that we should have another baby – If you have to convince him, then you shouldn’t have another baby
  • high metabolism makes me poop – I’m told the Wiggles has the same effect
  • how to console the wife who wanted a girl and is having a boy – I don’t know what to say, how about being thankful about having a baby regardless of its sex
  • free angry pigeons drawings – For some odd reason, I love the idea of angry pigeons
  • toilets for animals – They have strollers for dogs, I’m sure this is next along with Baby Bjorns for pets
  • will breast milk hurt my husband? – Yes, it'll hurt his dignity. And he’ll cry too.
  • elvis impersonator in underwear & pony – Is the pony dressed as Elvis too?
Who wants to be on my new blogroll?
I’ve been really bad about my blogroll over the last year. There are about 1,000 of you I’ve wanted to add, but haven’t yet (I have no excuse.) So my plan is to rotate about 20 on the left on occasion and then have a link to a permanent full-list.
If you want to be on it - leave a comment with your URL. If you’ve been one of those lurkers that read and never says anything, well then come out of the shadows and say something.
Some requirements -- for the time around I’d like to keep this to parents (I'll do another later.) Also linking to me would be plus.


Whirlwind said...

Ok - so just how do you find these searches?

And sure, you can add me to your blogroll.

Dan said...

I've been sometimes lurking and sometimes commenting for a while now you; and you pop round every now and again.

A link would be most gratefully recieved

I might do a similar call on my blog.

All That Comes With It

Whit said...

I'm partial to a little link love- hey, I'm a parent and I'm local, that's like a twofer.

Anonymous said...

You are already on my superduper roll. As in toilet paper roll.

I can't get that "toilets for animals" thing out of my mind....


Absolutely Bananas said...

I love the commentary. Also, if you link to me I'll give you some extra special knight rider sketches. Or maybe an angry pigeon.

carrie said...

Naked Bee Gee's????? Eeeeeeeeew.


Darren said...

I think I read somewhere that Colonel Sanders and Orville Redenbacher took home ec together and both failed. There's going to be a movie. Zac Efron and Shia LeBeouf will be playing the young Colonel and Orville.

I wouldn't mind a spot on the blogroll too.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Andy Gibb naked would be okay. He was hawt.

Steve said...

Yeah add me on too. (I'll be updating mine soon as well, so look for your header up there soon.)

Lisa said...

There's some weird searches out there. LOL

I'll take a spot on your list if ya want to put me there.

The Real Mother Hen said...

The searches are so funny!!! :) Can't stop laughing :)
I run a business selling greeting cards and I got a search "get well card for cats" before, but in the scale of 1 to 10, mine is 1, yours are 15! :)

Oh yes blogroll :) that'll be cool! :)

kittenpie said...

Wait. Joey Lawrence and Scary Spice? Is that true? I thought she had Eddie Murphy's baby?

I totally want drawings of angry pigeons. Well, I know Mo Willems has some. Those are pretty funny, actually.

nonlineargirl said...

Rather than spanking in romance novels, I advocate searching for "spanking with romance novels". Really, those books ought to be good for something.

painted maypole said...

i'd be pleased as punch to be on your blogroll (but that feels so weird to say... just decide for yourself, ok?) and have had every intention of adding you to my own when I get around to updating it myself, but I have been out of the country and all. and along those lines, wonderful to catch up on your blog. pet insurance. oh how I wish we had gotten it for the 5 cats I married into. less than a month into my marriage I gave up my dream of a china cabinet for an emergency hysterectomy for our kitty, including 2 days in kitty ICU. my china sat in boxes in the dining room for years. Later on I had to shove pills down several cat's throats for the last years of their lives. This is a marketable skill, I believe, and I should put it on my resume. But I didn't enjoy it. and the bills... oh the bills.... So, good luck with that. Pets do become such a part of our families, which is why we seem to be willing to fork over the big dough. But it is rough.

Jonathon Morgan said...

This settles it. I'm writing about pig sex. I never get any good search hits.

Digerati Dad said...

I'd be honored to be on your blogroll. Long-time listener, first-time caller!

Digerati Dad

Ben & Bennie said...

I occasionally consider doing a post like this (weird searches) but yours takes the cake. "Will breast milk hurt my husband?" If you have breast milk your husband is hurting in more ways than you could ever imagine...

Christine said...

Ok, I admit it. I'm a lurker. And now I'm slightly jealous of the keyword searches people use to get to your site. I never get any cool stuff like that. Clearly I need to rethink my material. ;)

mrsmogul said...

I have a friend who ONLY watches the Wiggles but I never can catch it on TV to see all the fuss.

I WANT TO BE ON THE BLOGROLL!! I have you on mine :)


dennis said...

wife.imp worked with a guy that trained his cats to use the toilet...I sh-t you not!

I will be happy to be considered for your blogroll:

The Parents Zone said...

will breast milk hurt my husband? – Yes, it'll hurt his dignity. And he’ll cry too. LOL.

Great post...

Well I am new to parenting blogging so I will wait till next time to be in your blog roll

creative-type dad said...

dennis -- I wonder if that guy used M&M's too.

Jonathon Morgan -- I'm going to google that now, and I expect to see you on the list.

Dad Stuff said...

You're already on my own meager blog roll.
It would be great to be on your list.
I will continue to be a regular visiter regardless.

If I search Pig Sex will I find Makin' Bacon?

Henri said...

Count me in!

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

me too! And I am ashamed to say I have been meaning to add you for a while now but keep forgetting. I'll getche on there soon, I promise!

Redneck Mommy said...

I just killed my blogroll completely. I kept forgetting to add to it and it was becoming a pain in my ass.

This just means I'll have to whore myself out extra special on all my peep's blogs.

And dude, I want me some of those angry pigeon drawings. They resonate within my soul...

Lisa said...

Wow. Your searches are far better than the boring stuff I get. And your responses? priceless.

Would appreciate you adding me to your blogroll. My new site is www.midwesternmommy.com

Rock the Cradle said...

Paula Abdul...didn't even know she was gone. Maybe she's just gone home?

I want an angry pigeon drawing. And I'd love to be on your blogroll!

Jackie said...

Oh Gawd! Colonel Sanders and Orville Redenbacher went to school together -- they were snipers in 'Nam! My husband wants to know what I'm laughing so hard at!

BTW - I know of a great angry pigeon drawing: http://www.joyunexpected.com/archives/pigeon%20fight!.JPG

Do you know metalia? http://www.metalia.blogspot.com/
She's hilarious.

metalia said...

Naked Andy Gibb?! No, just...no. Apropos of which, have you ever seen this? ?


Jenifer said...

You're already on my side bar "wink wink"....

I would feel honored to be added :)

Oh and my latest search "Reba McEntire with hard nipples." .....uh..... I'm sure it happens, but I don't think she's the kinda gal who'd draw attention to it...

moe "simon metz" berg said...

i'll take a little linky if you're offering.


a man who recently received a hit from someone searching for "spy camera son suck mom's big tits"

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Midget porn football? Are you sure they weren't looking for my site?

Of course I want to be on your blogroll. I am completely pathetic like that.

Bad Dad said...

I'm a lurker. You're on my blog roll. Can I be on yours? Pretty please? Otherwise, I'll have to teach the Leap Frog a lesson...with a pair of pliers.

Chief Family Officer said...

[big inhale] Oooookayyyyy, I think I'm finally done laughing out loud and freaking out my poor nursing baby who has no idea what's suddenly come over Mommy.

Yes, please, add me to your blogroll (you're on mine!):

Chief Family Officer

Thanks! (for the link and the laughs)

minnie and vim said...

we do! we want a link!

also, where did you get that rad toy sushi?