Thursday, November 01, 2007

Halloween Night Randomness! Pet Parents, Pimps, and Christmas, Oh My…

What’s that you say? Christmas is next month… How did that happen!?

Halloween turned out to be very fun this year. I ended up carving a Chewbacca pumpkin. My daughter was practicing her “Trick or Treat” line ALL DAY and was thrilled not only because she got to dress-up like Sleeping Booty (her name for Sleeping Beauty) but those magic words MADE the neighbors give candy.
Now she thinks she can put on her costume any day and go ask them for candy.

Watching the kid growing up sappy parent moment…
There’s something to be said about once enjoying the ‘trick or treating’ ritual as a kid and now as a parent watching my own child doing it. Watching my daughter twirling in her costume, getting candy, wearing a huge glowing smile… it all just sent happy chills down my spine. And the best part: now I don’t have to do all the work getting candy! (yee-ha!)
I just read a survey that said 90% of parents steal their kids’ loot. I think the other 10% were lying about it. Come on! We all do it, right?

Pimp Chaperone? I don’t think so. And Grad School doesn’t care about kids
The wife was in class Halloween night (thank you MBA program for thinking of “the children”…) I guess I can’t complain too much about that since about 98% of grad students in her classes don’t have kids. That’s just sad.
My daughter wanted to go trick or treating with the crazy 4-year old next door and her dad (Yup, only 2 already trying to ditch dad...) But I wouldn’t let her because the dad next door was dressed as a pimp. To me it’s just wrong having 3 little girls dressed as princesses walking with a pimp chaperone.
Later he admitted that it was from the “good old days” of being a single guy and should have probably worn a different costume (really, you think?) Sometimes I feel like Dr Phil – except without the Ferrari.

A note to parents who leave an unattended bowl of candy on their porch
Are you crazy? Some neighbors down the street left an unattended candy bowl out and I saw 3 (around 9 or 10-years old) boys dump the ENTIRE bowl into their pillowcases. I ran over telling them they’re not suppose to do that –- there’s something called the “honor system” where you take one and leave the rest for others to enjoy.

They all looked at me like I was Abraham Lincoln smoking a crackpipe.

One of the boys started putting some candy back, but he was cherry-picking through his bag leaving behind BRACH’s, Tootise Rolls and other random hard candy (or “old people candy”) that kids these days hate. The others thought it was a good idea and followed.

I guess that’ll keep other kids from dumping the bowl in their bags.

Later, I had visions in my head of some old people trick or treating and dumping the entire bowl in their bags and then running home to watch Jeopardy.

“Tick’ Or Treat?” - Whatchoutalkin’ bout Willis!
I think “Pet Parents” (the term I use for adults with no kids that treat dogs and cats like human children) need to be stopped before the world explodes from their stupidity.
I get a knock at the door and there’s this couple (mid-thirties-ish?) holding their little ugly rat-dog in a hot dog costume.
They said “Tick or Treat” and then held up a bag with HUGE smiles.

Are you kidding me?

I gave them a BRACH’s, shut the door, and then continued watching Jeopardy.


40 comments:

mama speak said...

Dude, seriously? They took their dog out w/out a kid in tow? I would've told them the dog looked too old to be trick or treating still or that we were out of dog treats. OMG!

We did the candy in the bowl thing, but so did a good part of our neighborhood cause while the kids trick or treat, we "trick & drink". It's more fun that way. I put out about half our candy since our kids are young & will be back pretty early. We still had about a quarter of the candy left in the bowl when we got home; I think it was still early for the older kids who know about dumpping bowls.

Maureen said...

Ha!!! Good for you... but you've gotta be kidding me about the people with the dog trick or treating. There is NO WAY I would give them anything. Too bad you didn't have an old bone or something to give them...

Momish said...

You are hysterical, I am howling over the Dr. Phil comment!!! I don't even know why they sell Brach's candy at Halloween. It is just cruel in my opinion.

Your daughter is too cute for words, so I will shut up now.

Shaping Youth said...

Okay, so I REALLY need to post some of these hilarious snippets in our comment section, particularly the pimp/chaperone one, as it plays to my point about clueless parents.

Your blog is SPOT ON and so well written that it makes me smile...hey, we should all syndicate content and go after the Dr. Phil market, gawd knows we all make more sense...You can even keep my share of the Ferrari.

Hmn, social media cogs are turning...gotta percolate on this one for awhile...

Jackie said...

Can't get the image of old people dumping the hard candy into their pillow cases out of my head. Hi-larious!

Rattling The Kettle said...

Nice Chewbac-o-lantern.

Next year, do the Obi Wan-Darth Vader lightsaber duel!

Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Yes, last year I left out a bowl of candy. Thought i was being nice. But someone dumped the entire bowl. I have no doubt because our neighborhood was very new and had about 10 houses in it. A-holes.

I can't believe someone brought their dog trick or treating. Oh. My. Got. Get a clue!

Whit said...

I used to live in a pet-friendly apartment in Washington. I never saw any kids there, but lots of dogs in costume.

I suppose they gave out dog treats, I don't know. I was probably at a bar.

Lisa said...

We put the dog in a costume but only the boy got treats. That couple showing up on your porch expecting candy? Wierd!

Your little girl as Sleeping Booty? LOVE IT. Made me laugh out loud.

Dad Stuff said...

We left a bowl of candy on our porch because Mom was at school too. Luckily, we didn't have any dumpers.
Maybe it was because our bowl was filled with orange and black peanut butter taffys.
That is the old people candy I remember getting on Halloween.

beta mom said...

Lincoln smoking a crack pipe!? LOL!

Above Average Joe said...

You're kidding, right? Their dog? If you don't mind I'd like to borrow the "Pet Parents" tag. Those people bug me.

Lisa said...

The little man loved your pumpkin. He was Darth.

And, for your info, I'm one of the crazy people! Well, this year I was. I've never just left a bowl of candy out front, but when you've got a kid who wants to go, go, go, and you're the only one around to go with him, ya have to make choices.

Diana said...

wow...some people...

creative-type dad said...

Rattling The Kettle -- that's a good idea! Or maybe Darth having a light saber fight against an Ewok!

Shaping Youth -- yes, there seems to be a lot of clueless parents around. And yes, I will keep my part of the Ferrari.

mama speak -- Was is filled with Tootsie Roll and Hard Candy when you came back?

Ruth Dynamite said...

I'm mighty impressed with your mad pumpkin-carving skillz!

Whirlwind said...

I hate seeing older people without kids trick or treating. Come on, buy your own darn candy!

We had a "trunk or treat" at their school the beginning of the week and in front of us were a few bigger kids. They would stop at the un-attended cars and pick through the candy and take three or four big hand fulls holding up the line. There was plenty of candy there, but it's the point. Here I am trying to teach my kids to grab one when they are standing behind kids grabbing hand fulls. Of course, that was before Moe realized she could keep walking (or double back) and get handed more candy. She hit the vans next to ours three times each before they realized it! Last year, all she had do do was look up and ask "more please" and everyone would just give her more (how can you refuse a cute 2 year old???).

I tried to toss the tootsie rolls last night (Husband anally separated them by type - chocolate, tootsie rolls, lollipops, toys, actual snacks, bubble gum, sweet tarts and his) but he said they'd eat them. I don't think they will as they aren't on the inside of a lollipop.

radioactive girl said...

The kids in our neighborhood are little, so we CAN and do leave a huge bowl of candy filled with peanut butter cups and all the good candy sitting on our front porch. When we returned, it was still half full and it had been several hours. The older kids in the neighborhood are all pretty honest kids, and know that whenver they stop by, I will give them cookies or whatever they want, so they don't feel the need to dump our bowl in their bag. So far it has been working well for us.

I don't steal my kids candy, but that is only because I bought myself a huge bag of the good stuff that I eat myself. After a few days, we will put all of the leftover candy into a huge bowl and share it all anyway.

That pumpkin rocks! You are so talented!

chanchow said...

i overheard this conversation on halloween night between my friend and a father chaperoning his daughter:

My friend: Oh, is she dressed as a maid? [She had a feather duster and a little maid's outfit on.]

Dad: A French maid.

My friend: Oh.

Dad: The funny thing is that she doesn't get it yet! hahaha!!!

creative-type dad said...

chanchow -- When she runs off with a truck driver at 14, then maybe he'll get it.
That's just sad.

radioactive girl -- So you pay off the teenagers in your neighborhood? They sound like the mafia...!

Whirlwind -- Yeah, I never understood the adults trick or treating deal. It doesn't happen at my current neighborhood, but the old one....we got a lot of them.

The Real Mother Hen said...

I didn't put up pumpkin or decorations so no kids came knocking.
But I did have some candies just in case... now husband is happy that he can eat all the candies by himself.

Leslie said...

Wow! Awesome Chewbacca!! :) And a pimp?? I'm with you on that one!

kittenpie said...

Are you fucking kidding me? With a DOG? Bad enough parents are out candy pimping their children... We actually don't take muhc of Pumkinpie's only because we only take her to a few houses, so there's not much. BUt normally, we rely on leftover candy, and this year we were cleaned out! 300+ kids. No dogs. (I did see a guy in the subway with a stroller of three little cotton balls, er, dogs. Weird.)

And yeah, I'd never just leave candy. Of COURSE some greedy, um, enterprising kid will take the whole lots. duh.

Mrs. Chicken said...

And here I was grumbling about teenagers. A DOG? I might have lost it.

Rimarama said...

You should have given the rat-dog a Hershey's bar.

I hear chocolate doesn't go over so well with the canine set.

h&b said...

T&T'ing your DOG is just weird.

As I read it though, I so totally imagined Tori Spelling doing that..

fizzledink said...

Oh good grief - the dog? Seriously, people. I'm all for humane treatment of animals... but there's an "e" in there. You're not supposed to act like they're little furry humans.

And the pimp chaperone? and the dad with the french maid? That just makes me a little sick.

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

Okay, I couldn't love my dogs more if I had birthed them myself BUT even I would NEVER do that. I also don't take them to have their pictures made with Santa...yikes!!!

creative-type dad said...

Scarlett Wanna Be -- obviously you don't love your dog. (just kidding)

Jenster said...

I do NOT steal my children's candy! I use extortion.

Pimp daddy? I don't think so.

Trick or treating dogs? Hello, people! They can't eat the chocolate!!

Your daughter looks precious! Glad you had a good time. :o)

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh my gosh! I have never heard of people taking their pets trick or treating! I mean I have seen parents walking their dogs but never just taking the dog to the door. Talk about wanting candy!

Denguy said...

There's no way that happened--some one trick or treated with their effing dog?

Ooo, somebody needs a clue.

dennis said...

over here we had so few kids sop by for candy, I was trying to pour the whole bowlful into their bagss...

creative-type dad said...

Jenster -- pretty sure it wasn't for the dog. It's probably because they're either too cheap to buy their own candy - or maybe they DO think their dog is a human.... that pees on the carpet.

dennis -- you should have just left the bowl on the porch.

painted maypole said...

i also don't get the whole trick or treating with an INFANT thing. MQ was 2 before we took her out.

Pageant Mom said...

Now I'm completely sure the world has gone to hell in a handbasket and somehow I fell asleep on board..

A FREAKIN' DOG?? trick or treating???

good grief.

We live in a neighborhood where the closest house is like 1/8 of a mile away. Half the neighborhood is woods, and one of the houses actually has a real graveyard in the front.

The kids here pretty much stick to trick or treating at the mall.

...BROOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......

;O)

creative-type dad said...

Pageant Mom -- graveyards? no houses? No wonder dogs don't go trick or treating in your neighborhood...!

painted maypole -- yeah, I completely agree. Infant trick or treating is wrong. Might as well let pregnant women trick or treat while we're at it.

wayabetty said...

Man Tony, you outdid yourself! Next year, I'm sending you a pumpkin to carve for me dude!

Uh, I'm one of those neighbors who put out the bowl of candies in front, but we only have maybe 10 kids around the neighborhood so they didn't dump the whole content into their bags. And I think the sign "monitor by 24 hour security camera" might do the trick too.

angel said...

oh my goodness i can see i'm going to be coming here regularly!!! bucking frilliant dude!

Darren said...

Nice Chewbacca. Beautiful Sleeping Booty too.