Monday, November 12, 2007

Crazy People Searches And "I Pity Da' Fool Who Don't Eat Ma Fried Chicken!"


A big congratulations to the Kentucky Fried Chicken Contest winners!
It was a tough call, but just like the Highlander "in the end. there can only be one." Or in this case two.

Winner #1 was Beta Mom for her fancy writin' poem:

There once was a man from Kentucky Whose chickens were very un-lucky He made them all fatter Then fried them in batter Yessiree’ that Colonel was plucky.

And wiener #2 was Bennie from Ben & Bennie because his grandfather shot a hippie, in Kentucky, for taking his chicken wing while singing Kentucky's national anthem at The Colonel's original restaurant... in 1830 (or something like that...)

Thanks to those that particiapated and a big thanks to KFC for sending me the gift checks. As soon as I got them I ran over and tried the Popcorn chicken again (I actually have a new product suggestion/idea: Spicy Popcorn Chicken!...my mouth waters just thinking about that one. KFC could get the Spice Girl's to sing in the commercials "People of the world --Spice up your life.." all while dancing with a sunglass sportin' Colonel Sanders!)

Random And Bizarre Searches
That mighty powerful (and rich) Google sends some weird people my way. I occasionally like to share these searches with the public.

I crapped a pineapple - ouch!
see womans boobs at a football game - they're called "Cheerleaders"
ways to get daddy from stealing my candy - sorry kid, you'll get no sympathy from me
daddy eat as much candy as he wants - so what's the problem?
jo and blair were in love - I think Jo was in love with Blair. And Blair was in love with Mrs. Garrett
picture of gummy bear in a peaceful area - gummy bear heaven?
when did dad's start cutting the cord - when doctor's felt a need to be entertained
why do we have butt cracks - apparently to crap pineapples
how to acquire all magical powers and superhuman strength - get bitten by a spider or alien that has somehow escaped a government research laboratory. Or be a rich orphan with nothing else to do.

25 comments:

beta mom said...

First publication in our elementary school newspaper...now this? My head is spinning!
Thanks, Creative-Type Dad!

Julie Pippert said...

How do you people get these interesting and hilarious Google searches?

I get "explain discrete in math" and "when did king henry rule?" I swear I'm like one Geek step down from wikipedia as a Google source.

Enjoy the chicken.

Julie
Using My Words

Sarah O. said...

You are lucky, indeed, bizarre search-wise. The only interesting one I've gotten recently was "two girls glass bathtub lemons goat".

Jenster said...

Those searches are amazing. You'd think since I mention things like "boobs", "nipples" and "sex" on my blog (all clinically, of course) I'd get some whacko searches. Nope. Nadda. Zip. Zilch. Or close to that anyway.

Whit said...

Was the pineapple whole or diced?

Denguy said...

Ouch--the pineapple thing! Ouch.

Darren said...

That's ridiculous. Everyone knows Natalie and Tootie were in love.

The Real Mother Hen said...

I Crapped A Pineapple really had me in tears :)
Enjoy your KFC :)

creative-type dad said...

The Real Mother Hen --- Trust me - I will!
And I'll be going on google later searching for "I crapped a chicken"....

Jenster -- Yeah, that is weird. Let me give you some advice - mention midgets more often. That seems to work.

mama speak said...

I can't believe that no one had a comment about the Spice Girls on a KFC commercial. I mean seriously, if that's not a come back tour, I don't know what would be.

Heather said...

You've got to love the sickos on the net and their Google searches. Someone found my blog by searching for "Where's my cat's clitoris?" Dang. What does that say about my blog?

Busy Mom said...

Cannot top heather's search string. Won't even try.

Jenster said...

I would say Heather wins the prize. What great advertising for her blog!

Ben & Bennie said...

Crapping a pineapple would definitely make my butt crack. BTW, I can't wait to hit the KFC. Gotta try those spicy little chicks.

Ben & Bennie said...

Another thought just hit me. I was thinking that search took the cake so to speak. I hope to God it wasn't a Pineapple Upside Down Cake. Peee-eeewwwww!

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

First, I am having a hard time leaving comments...I think our computer's mojos are off.

Second, it is not the size of a pineapple that scares me, it is the pokies that concern me the most. Don't get me wrong, the size is a fear factor but pokies...yikes!!!

Third, your searches aren't that bad. I have gotten, "Please finger me big daddy" and "how to get even with a prostitute". Imagine what I would get if I didn't filter my posting thoughts before typing them.

Above Average Joe said...

I passed on the cutting of the chord thing. Twice.

"Doc, isnt that what I paid you for?"

The Real Mother Hen said...

Actually you know what, I do enjoy KFC, but I always feel so damn guilty after eating it... not because of the fat, but the amount of trash I create by having just one KFC dinner is unbelievably large. So I feel guilty. What a bummer!

creative-type dad said...

The Real Mother Hen --- Just bring your own bucket. That'll solve everything...and you'll be "green" too.

Scarlett Wanna Be -- I forgot about the pinapple scales...ouch!

Ben & Bennie -- The posh one isn't so bad.

Heather -- I'll never look at a cat the same way again....

mama speak -- I KNOW! It's like people have forgotten where they're from these days...

MamaLee said...

Pineapple is.. was my favorite fruit!

xoxo

carrie said...

I don't think I'll eat pineapple for a very long time.

And -- when is KFC going to send you royalties for all the nods towards their greasy empire? They owe you. Big Time.

Jay said...

I'm uncomfortable just reading about the pineapples.

wayabetty said...

Oh shucks!! You mean you didn't pick me? The #2 fan? But I supposed that poem is really catchy!

kittenpie said...

Sigh. I am always so jealous of other bloggers' weirdo google searches. Mine are all about spiders and kids' books.

And I loooove that poem. Way to go Beta Mom!

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I can't stop thinking about crapping pineapples.

I hope you are happy.