Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Swine Flu Sucks! A Lot!!


I don’t care what the doctor says; I blame the chocolate covered bacon I bought at the Fair.

Never in a million years did I ever expect that anybody in my family, or even anybody I knew, would ever get hit with some media scare worldwide epidemic. Boy was I wrong…

My daughter’s been learning about all kinds of animals in preschool the past few months and wanted to see some “real” ones. Apparently the ones on TV, in books, or I draw aren’t good enough for her anymore.

So here I thought, “Hey! The L.A. Zoo is pretty dirty and smelly so let’s avoid the place because we could get bird flu by just walking through the turnstiles.”
And “The L.A. Country Fairy is pretty dirty, smelly, scary, and last time I was there I ate a deep-fried Oreo and nearly died near the deep-fried pork chop on-a-stick wagon.”
But 5 years ago we paid a visit to the Orange County Fair down South and saw Huey Lewis in concert.

HUEY LEWIS!!

And they have dancing cows, acrobatic horses, race car driving pigs, chickens that play ragtime on piano’s while smoking cigars… you know things people normally don’t see everyday - except if you live in Fontana. But Huey Lewis would never visit Fontana.

What could be better, right?

It all happened just after the visit to the chocolate covered bacon cart… Oh, in case you’re wondering, it’s basically salad-style bacon bits in chocolate clusters, but packaged in a Chinese take-out box. It’s like salty chocolate - Weird!
So there we were watching the Chinese acrobats holding live horses, on their heads, and then the horses were speaking Chinese and stuff (“Don’t drop us! Don’t drop us!” – I understand Chinese fluently) and then my daughter says “Daddy I’m not feeling good…”

“Don’t worry, they’re not going to drop the horses anymore…”

Two days later we’re at the doctor and while he’s telling us the news (“You’re daughter has Influenza A, subtype H1N1 othewise known as…”) I’m thinking to myself does that mean my family has to join some leprosy style camp now far away somewhere, like Fontana, separated from civilization?

Thankfully we weren’t sent to Fontana (Thank God!) It just meant my daughter was sick for 3 more days, which wasn’t too bad. But then my wife got bronchitis after getting the plague, but then recovered after the week. And fortunately nobody turned into a pig or started squealing while sleeping like I’ve heard so much about on ‘the News.’

The lesson learned: don’t ever go outside again.

21 comments:

Mac and Cheese said...

The upside is that you now no longer need to give a second thought to swine flu. You might want another cholesterol check though.

I've seen Huey in concert too!

WILLIAM said...

Swine Flu and Huey Lewis in the same post.


That does not happen every day.

Jamie said...

Great post - hope you all stay healthy now!!!

creative-type dad said...

Mac and Cheese -- Isn't Huey awesome in concert?
He did "Back in Time" and I swear, I was really back in 1985.

James (SeattleDad) said...

5 Years ago? Sure she wasn't patient A?

Anyway, I hope everyone is feel...wait, did you say Chocolate covered bacon?...

Amrita said...

Goodness Tony, do hope all of you are well.

In several par5ts of India we 've had outbreaks but no one has died so far.

Take and DONT GO OUT!

Kelly said...

I'm afraid to put my kids in a grocery cart these days. I tell myself that at least they don't try to suck on the handles anymore, but now they just touch the cart and pick their nose and bite their fingernails and the result is the same.

Oh H1N1, this is going to be an interesting fall and winter....

painted maypole said...

crap. sorry. we just found out someone we know has it, too, so are hoping for the best. and of course we're about to leave on vacation. To mexico. ;) oh, the irony.

Tamara said...

Now you can be assured in the knowledge that while the rest of the country will have to wear those silly hospital masks this fall, you and your family will be exempt from such a fashion faux paux.

mama speak said...

I'm glad everyone's OK. Now quit licking livestock!

Beck said...

WE HAD IT TOO! Oh my gosh. But I knew as soon as it was all over the media that we would get it, since we get everything.
We're fine. I'm glad you are, too.

Jane said...

Just by reading your post, I would know how cool Mom you are. I wish you well enough in all your endeavors. Thanks for sharing your post. Hey, it's not really a mortal sin to go outside. Swine flu anyways is curable. By the way, there's a new social networking site dedicated to parents and kids, it's called Bluepixo.com - it's a place for Moms, Dads, and Kids! Now, there’s even a chance to win a free iPod Nano! I'm inviting you to meet other parents. And enjoy parenthood to the fullest. Thanks.

Dad Stuff said...

That's too bad about your daughter. Hopefully, she will still like fair food.

creative-type dad said...

Dad Stuff -- I sure hope so...
You can't get deep-fried Coke at just any old street corner.

mama speak -- But it's bacon. Bacon!

nonlineargirl said...

As an ex-angelino I can't see the word Fontana without giggling. Of course, now I live near a suburb called Beaverton, which REALLY makes me giggle.

Artist Unplugged said...

Wow, chocolate covered swine morphs into swine flu? I'm glad all is better now. Huey Lewis will be in our town next month at a big musical festival....I bet that chocolate swine will be available too or caramel pig's feet....I will report later!

Daddy Geek Boy said...

I nearly bought the chocolate covered bacon at the OC County Fair, but they had just run out by the time that I got the the cart. I was really upset about it at the time, but now...

creative-type dad said...

Daddy Geek Boy -- Sorry about that. I may have ordered too many.

Artist Unplugged -- Nice! Now if Huey sings about chocolate covered bacon at this thing, I'm going to be extremely envious.

nonlineargirl -- How about "Bearveton, Fontana" :) LOL! LOL!
I'm going to google it, I bet it does exist...

Sasparilla Sue said...

Ooohh...you're so lucky my friends in Fontucky...uh...I mean Fontana can't read or you'd be dust!

creative-type dad said...

Sasparilla Sue -- I think I'm OK. I don't think the Internet even exists there yet.

The Real Mother Hen said...

Huh?! Did you get sick???!!!