Sunday, May 16, 2010

Inducing Labor. Because 40 Weeks is a Long, Long Time.



My wife is now 39 weeks pregnant and we’re told she’s ready to deliver at any time.

I forgot how stressful this “final stretch” was last time around nearly 5 years ago with our daughter.
Not being able to leave my wife for long or sleep at night as every move, ache, or whatever move she makes has me jumping up like an earthquake just struck. The uneasy feeling I get when she uses the bathroom for more than 3 minutes (“Is she having the baby in the bathroom; I think that can happen?”)
The stories I hear from random women at the gym or work that say things like, “I have this friend who went into labor and delivered a baby all within 5 minutes!”
And to top it all off, my 4-year old asked me today “Daddy, how is my baby brother getting out of mommy’s belly?” To which I answered matter-of-factly “Why, the birth canal, silly kid!” (ruffled her hair) followed by an uncomfortable laugh and then changed the subject quickly by asking her if she wanted ice cream.

We’ve had lots of ice cream this weekend.

Of course our midwife has given us a list of things that help induce labor naturally like: eating spicy food, go for a long walk, use primrose oil, stimulate the “nickels”, and having sex. All sound like a pretty good date night, doesn’t it?

Except the part knowing that there’s your baby’s head right down there!!

Tomorrow we’re going to a restaurant out here in L.A. (Caioti Pizza CafĂ©) that’s famous for having a special salad that makes women into labor. We tried it first time around years ago and it didn’t work. But we did get to write a funny letter in one of their pregnancy journals – something of a tradition they have there. We’re going to look at what we wrote years ago, write something again, and then try out the “The Salad” one more time.

In the journal maybe I’ll write something like, “your big sister had lots of ice cream this weekend and if this salad doesn't work I’m REALLY sorry if I bumped your head.”

11 comments:

SciFi Dad said...

WHAT? She still hasn't had this kid yet?

Also, salad? If you want to entice a man out, you need to use bacon, or, failing that, KFC.

Mac and Cheese said...

I thought that the head-bump issue was a total deal breaker. I got short changed.

Kelly said...

I remember the litany of ideas from our midwives. At 10 days post-due date, we went out for sushi (I totally broke the no raw fish thing that night), I heaped a ton of wasabi on my fish, and then we went home and my husband hit it...ahem...in the manner of a dog.

The next day I went into labor. Who knows?

I hope the salad works. Those last few weeks are a killer!

for a different kind of girl said...

I'm willing to concede the truth of knowing where babies come from if it means unlimited access to all things ice cream.

Megan said...

Bumped head?

Okay, I nearly spit out my salad from laughing so hard!

handstowar said...

Oooh man. I feel for you. I'm not sure what "nickels" are but I think I have a pretty good idea.

Good luck to you guys!

Scott said...

Good save, good distraction I must say! My grandma used to joke that the baby comes out the same place it went in!

And the baby's head being too close--I've thought about that before too. I've never had occasion to have sex with a pregnant woman--but I do believe that could spoil the moment!

ArtistUnplugged said...

Wow, a birthing salad, who knew? Thinking on how the term midwife came to be. Was it a polygamist that had three wives and the 2nd wife was gifted with labor aid? Thinking I will go with: this person literally gets in the middle of a wife to deliver a baby...hence the shortened term midwife! My sincere wishes that everything comes out (oops!) great with your wife and the new bundle, that both are healthy! You and the princess enjoy all that ice cream!!!

Mici | Click On Portal said...

“your big sister had lots of ice cream this weekend and if this salad doesn't work I’m REALLY sorry if I bumped your head.”

They should really think about immortalizing this epic line. Though maybe they wouldn't want people to think that there is a chance their salad does not work.

You know, it's a conspiracy theory, but maybe little kids know all about how babies 'work' and are just feigning innocence for ice cream. If not then there's always the stork story, though your kid is quite smart so you have to be a little more creative, but that's your specialty so you got this creative-type dad. :P

Anonymous said...

I was late and my mom broke the no alcohol rule by having a glass of champagne. I was born the next day. Same story with my husband - he was late, his mom had a glass of wine and he was born the next day. (And we both turned out fine - one glass of wine at 42 weeks didn't cause any problems, I promise.)

Best of luck to you both!

-Holly

Happy Mama said...

"Not being able to leave my wife for long or sleep at night as every move, ache, or whatever move she makes has me jumping up like an earthquake just struck."

This is one of those things that makes it worth it...knowing that we are in it together and you guys are just as nervous as we are!

-Jennifer