Thursday, November 02, 2006
Get Me A Brewsky -I'm Feeling Very 'Manly' Today After Changin' The Oil
You heard me right! I actually learned and changed the oil in my MINI Cooper (my first oil change on any car my entire life). All because the MINI/BMW dealer wanted to charge me $250 for a freakin' oil change. Yup, I went out and told everybody I know how ridiculous it is that dealers can get away with this stuff and along the way told my good friend's dad who use to own a ‘shop’ in the valley. He then told me to drive over his house and he would teach me… and I did! And it only cost me $47 for "the best" oil and a filter. Once I closed the hood, I flexed my pecks, arms, and shot "the bird" over to the direction of the BMW/MINI dealer all while yelling into the air "how do ya’ like me now, be-yatches!!" It felt good. Almost like finding $200 in your pocket after taking the pants out of the dryer.
While scrubbing my hands removing the greasy oil I swear my voice got a little deeper and about 3 chest hairs grew that instant. There's just something spiritual about a guy doing work on his car, like you feel at one with ‘the Fonze’ or 'Jo’ Polniaczek (men who didn’t really work on machinery but played it well on TV).
When I got home, I threw the keys on the counter and announced to the wife that the ‘man of the house’ was home. After I grabbed her by the waist and planted a big wet one, I told her how I felt as if I could go build a boat out of paper clips and duct tape. After she giggled, she asked me to finish washing the dishes. Women just don't get it. She thought I would end up doing some serious damage to the car, but my response to her was that "men have been changing oil in their cars for centuries before Jiffy Lube began in 1876. I’m just keepin’ it real Little Lady”.