Thursday, November 16, 2006
Why Do Some Parents Use Their Kids As Surrogate Spouses?
Do you know anybody who does this? I've heard about this, but have never encountered it (like aliens or the lockness monster). I've just had another interesting conversation with those two suto-empty nester moms at my boxing class - if you remember I wrote awhile back how they told me that all kids will eventually get into drugs and have sex at 11 no matter what I did to prevent it.... So I should just go on a cruise during the teenage years. As you can imagine, I don't think very highly of them or their lack of parenting skills.
So yeah, I'm having a conversation and woman #1 (Sandy, divorced for about 16 years) is talking about her 24 year-old son to me. Not just normal "proud" about my kid talk (can sky dive while reversing global warming) but talking about how he does stuff for her -- talks to her every night, takes her to dinner, movies, massages, trips to New York in the Fall. He's planning on making a "test" Thanksgiving dinner this weekend, etc.
Me: Whoa! That's pretty wild. What does his wife think about you two spending so much time together?
(She must be on crack)
Sandy: He's not married- Thank God! I don't know what I would do. I don't have anybody. My daughter lives far away and never calls, (blah, blah, blah...)
(Hmmm, maybe because he's attached to you and you scare them away...)
Me: Does he have a girlfriend?
Sandy: I hope not!
(O.K., gay and she doesn't know? Or is he going to run off and get married to some hooker in Vegas and send her an email)
Me: He's 24/25, right?
Sandy: Yeah 25, but he doesn't have time.
(I must have given a weird look....smile)
Sandy:Why? There's nothing strange about that...
(I want to run away. I might catch something just by standing here)
Me: Did you know O.J. is writing a book....
(Cut the strings woman! No wonder why your two kids have so many problems!)
I'm thoroughly creeped out. I don't know - maybe she should be a little more worried about that "test" Thanksgiving dinner coming up...