When A Man Loves A Woman. Enough To Take Her To See Lionel Richie
We’re going to see Lionel in two weeks over at the Kodak (or ‘Kojak’ as I like to call it) Theater down in Hollywood. The wife is a big fan, her birthday is coming up and I was able to score 2nd row orchestra seats (we’ll be able to smell that Lionel cologne of his). If you ask me how I was able to do that – I’d like to say it was from some guy named “Manny”, in a 1977 El Camino, at midnight, in North Hollywood. But it wasn’t, they were from a charity that was selling them to help guys like Manny get real jobs.
I’ve been getting some grief from ‘the guys’ about this like “Are you kidding me?”, and from the ladies “Oh my God! I LOVE Lionel- I wish my husband/boyfriend/Imaginary Friend did that for me”. To the guys, I tell them there’re just some things you need to do for the wife, which gives you a load of points. And to the ladies, I tell them to let my wife know how wonderful I am because Christmas is coming up very soon.
Who Says There’s No Such Thing As A ‘Free’ Lunch AND Ice Cream?
Ever since the ‘old guard’ left, things have been getting extremely upbeat at work. The boss’s boss is having lunch catered for everybody in the building every Wednesday (and this isn’t KFC people, this is real food!) And if that wasn’t enough, he has a catered Ice Cream Sundae bar come in later in the afternoon. How freakin’ cool is that!? I really like this, but at the same time it scares me - like when the old witch feeds Hansel and Gretel to fatten them up so she can eat them. I think they’re trying to make us fat so they can eat us (Maybe like that old alien mini-series “V” kind of way) I don’t care, give me free food (preferably KFC) and ice cream and I’ll sit on the ‘barbie’ any day.
I Want To Meet ‘George Glass’ Already
Or in this case Georgette Glass. There’s this ‘ kind of’ nerdy little guy at work, actually there are a lot of them, but this guy in particular has been telling people the last 2 years he has this “model-hot-Baywatch-smokin” girlfriend which nobody has ever met. Not even his mom he lives with. Nope, not at after-work things, office parties, Christmas parties, “bring your ‘other’ to work day”, nothing! It’s not that I would think differently about him if she did exist, but it’s pretty obvious she doesn’t. The Christmas party is in a month and I’m thinking Georgette Glass will be on her modeling tour in Paris, Iceland again.
I don’t understand why adults do this. It’s not like he’s in Jr. High and tells people he’s going out with Tiffany.
Really Funny Things My Daughter Is Doing Update
She has two friends around her age Audrey and Olivia; she calls them “Ah-DEe” and “Ah-Lee”. She can point to them and say their names, yet when she points at me she still says “MaMa!” and my wife “DaDa!”. And even worse, while at Target she still points to strange men and yells “DaDa!” Immediately afterwards, I’ll look at my wife, really disturbed, and say “Is there something you’re not telling me…!!” Guys get really freaked out when I do that.
14 comments:
don't worry, she'll soon figure out that Dada does not = man. Then you'll have to look for more ways to get a lugh in Target...
Re: the dada=man stage. I remember when E started calling her mother's boyfriend "dada" for that reason.
That relatively uncomfortable period ended pretty quickly, however.
Phew.
Re: Lionel Ritchie. You are husband of the year.
You must love your wife.
Big points on the Lionel Ritchie. I recently bought All Night Long off iTunes. My fave song is Say You, Say Me.
careful tony, or you and the fam will be "dancing on the ceiling" soon.
yes, my cousin and i tried it when the video came out.
"V" was my favorite! I have never even met anyone who has ever heard of it, let alone mention it in a blog post! I made my husband rent it a few years ago so he could see what I was talking about. It wasn't nearly as good as I remembered.
That dad thing is pretty funny. My son called everyone daddy too. Guys who didn't have kids yet didn't like it so much, but guys with kids knew what it was all about.
Lionel Richie! My first CD... I bought it before I even had a CD player.
Hahaha! Sometimes Quinn will see a random female who looks absolutely nothing like me and out of the blue, hold his arms up and lovingly say, "mommy!!" I have no clue why he does this, but it's pretty friggin' hilarious.
Tiffany sounds like the ideal girlfriend!! She knows enough to stay away when he is 'out' with the guys and lets him enjoy his 'space'. I just hope he knows enough to change the batteries every now and again...
Your story about freaking the guys in public brought back a memory from college. I was fortunate enough to meet and date a blind girl. We loved to go to the park and stroll. One afternoon I borrowed her cane and we casually meandered along the footpath and were approached by Some Guy.
SG: (pleasantly looking at my smoking hot blind girlfriend) Hello! Nice day! (his eyes did not quite reach chin level...)
Me: (smiling and winking) Why yes it is!
I then gave her the can and watched him hurry back the opposite direction...
dennis - I might go out on a ledge here, but I think you may have owned some Tiffany tapes back then...
Shhhhh. My husband and I both like...Barry Manilow.
Yes, but would your daughter look at Lionel Richie and call him "Dada"? Nicole is grown and in rehab, he needs another kid to shower his millions on. This could be quite profitable for you.
Tony,
Tiffany? No. I stopped listening to the radio when the artists stopped playing real instruments. I completely missed Madonna, Brittany, Tiffany(?), Rap/Hip Hop, Debbi Gibson....
If Tiffany is a reference to anything else, that is something I also completely missed.
dennis - There can only be one Tiffany. And yes, that is the one I was referencing.
waya - Now when I see the dude, that's what I'll think.
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