Thursday, February 22, 2007

The Future is NOW! Choosing the Gender Of Your Baby In Minutes


I was speaking with a fellow co-worker/parent today about kids. Actually, I should rephrase that - she was pretty much doing the majority of the talking about how great it must be to have a girl.

She wants a girl really bad. Little girls haunt her all the time, in her dreams, on the TV, movies, magazines, on the streets - with their “cute clothes” and “cute hairstyles”…she went on and on (like a love struck teenybopper talking about NKOB.) She and her husband have two boys, one 5 and the other 3. After talking for about 10 minutes straight, she saw the look on my face and said “What? I love my boys… I just wish they were girls!”

I told her if she wanted all that - why not just buy a doll? Or trade in one of her boys in for a girl on Craigslist (the initial look on her face was, “Really? You can do that!!!”…)

She’s trying to convince her husband that they should have another. And to be sure she gets her girl she has done some research and found some place over in Pasadena that claims it has a 77% chance of getting your chicken right. First of all, I'm no doctor and I don’t know much about “science”, “sitcom ratings” and “what makes an airplane stay up in the air”, but aren’t these things a scam? I didn’t think you could do that. Isn’t it all a 50/50 chance, and maybe the “position” at “sexy time”?
I also think by giving a 77% claim, they’re protecting themselves. Because if you want X and get Y, well then you must be in the 23% - too bad (Pick up your consolation prize - Huggies samples and a discount coupon for another try on the way out the door.)

What does it cost you might be wondering? (I had to ask, is that rude...?) Only a mere $3,000, 10 minutes of her husbands time watching dirty videos, and 2 hours of her time. In fact, she can go back to work that same morning (I might consider changing jobs for that kind of money…)

Her husband doesn’t want another kid, but she has told him that if she gets pregnant – he can buy that Porsche he’s always wanted. I’m pretty sure he’s going to be taking the bait, along with some dirty movies thrown in to sweeten the deal.



Seriously, would you want to choose your baby’s gender? As for me, I don’t know. We have a girl, and I would like to have a boy for balance. But choosing seems so "commi-china" or “Madonna-Britney Hilton-Hasselhoff-ish”…

38 comments:

L.A. Daddy said...

I talk a tough game but I will truly only just want a healthy child. These things are cliches for a reason.

Anika said...

I really loved the post coz your friend wanted a girl child. Here in India, people generally don't prefer Girl child. People find the sex of the kid at the time of pregnancy and if it turns out to be a girl, then they get it aborted. THis way millions of poor girls don't even see ray of light. The main reason for abortion is that who will take care of the parents in old age. and moreover dowry system is very prevalant here. But slowly and steadily this thinking is also changing,


swastik07@gmail.com

Uncle Artemus said...

It's amusing that your co-worker just assumes that a girl will gladly suffer being handled and dressed up and messed with like a giant pudgy Barbie doll strictly by virtue of being a girl. (I wonder if she's tried that on those poor boys)

My experience with a pre-school girl is more like, "NO, I don't want to wear that! I want the black sweat pants, brown shoes, the pink tutu and the tank top!" (It's ten degrees outside) Of course mine is usually the first one up a tree or in the deep end of the pool (barely able to swim) and usually has the boys following nervously after her.

Girls are tough. They're way too much like tiny marginally rational women.

metro mama said...

I wouldn't mind another girl so I can reuse all cakes' clothes.

Lisa said...

No way would I want to choose my baby's gender. I didn't even know the gender of my son until he decided to pull a "transverse breech" at the time of delivery and the doctor slipped.

Jared said...

I think I'm more disturbed by the 'child for Porsche' offer. What is wrong with people?

chanchow said...

I'm curious to see what the baby statistics are in the U.S. Is it 50/50 girls and boys? You'd think so, since that's what we're taught in school...

In China, the one child policy has resulted in a disproportionate number of boys (who are they going to marry??!). I think Vietnam has a two child policy.

I happen to be the only child (a female) of my dad, who is the only boy in a familiy of 10 girls. So technically his 'name' will not live on (despite the fact that I have one of the most common Vietnamese last names). When I went back to Vietnam a few years ago, I had some relatives say to me 'you should've been a boy' or 'too bad you're a girl.'

MamaLee said...

I honestly think that we are given what we are supposed to be given.

Mrs. Chicky said...

I always thought I wanted a boy, until I had a girl. Now, if I ever get pregnant again, I believe I would like to have another girl (hand-me-downs galore!). But would I pay someone thousands of dollars to ensure that I have one? Hells no.

Diana said...

Does the position really matter?
Ive wondered, because my cousin and his wife supposedly followed the directions in a book to get their boy, and they ARE pregnant with a boy now...
I don't know....

Anonymous said...

I have two girls, I wanted boys. But, now reconcidering I love to dress them up in the cute girl baby clothes and feel such a bond with them. I dont know if I could handle the wildness of a boy now!

Kate said...

People are falling for that crap?
And what happened to just wanting a healthy baby? Is there anyone out there charging a price to guarantee that? That might be the only thing I would sign up for.

On a lighter note, I cheered when I gave birth to my 2nd boy. Thus, guranteeing I would never be responsible for paying for a wedding or a sweet sixteen party.

Tuesday Girl said...

I would not want to chose the sex. I still thin it is the last great surprise left in this world.

Keith said...

This is a hilarious blog. My wife and I are planning on having children soon and this blog is very informational. I can't wait to take my kids to chuck e cheese's and tell them to break the rules. Thanks!

Em said...

I would not want to choose. We were traditional enough that we didn't even want to know until they popped right out and said 'hi'. And I think you are totally right about the scam factor. 77%. A lot of wiggle room there.

Redneck Mommy said...

I like that comment...girls are like tiny marginally rational women. There is a kernel of truth in there....

When we applied for the adoption we had the choice to specify boy or girl. While secretly I'd love another boy (my girl is keeping me on my toes as is...) I wouldn't choose a child based on sex.

We will go the old fashioned way, and wait and see what is given to us.

The kids have ideas of what we should have. But I try to ignore them. I find it is parenting at it's finest.

radioactive girl said...

I would have chosen wrong. I thought I ONLY wanted girls, but my boys bring me so much happiness (as do my girls)I can't imagine not having them.

Rebecca said...

I'm glad I had one of each, for that balance you were talking about. But that was just what we got....I do not think I would pay money to actually choose the gender. And I have to agree that this child for a Porche thingie is particularly disturbing.

scribbit said...

I enjoyed reading this--it's hard to believe people care that much about boys v. girls. I mean it's nice to have both--parenting either gender is a unique experience--but hey, I figure my children will all hopefully grow up and marry and I'll end up with equal numbers of both.

Something in that woman's conversation made me feel she thinks of children as accessories rather than individuals. It's not about hair and clothes--or hasn't anyone told her this yet? Evidently her husband thinks it's all about cars.

Maria said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maria said...

I have a friend who did the whole position thing for a girl and they had their girl...but I dunno. I don't think that theory hold much water.

And not all girls are girly girls. Mine refused to wear barrettes or anything like that until she was nearly six. She still hates anything with frills or ruffles.

susiej said...

There is no way her attitude about those boys isn't getting through to them. It gives me chills. No, I didn't choose the sex of my children, nor would I consider it. What if something went wrong, and I got the opposite sex I was hoping for? I'm glad all of my 4 boys are here and healthy.

jen said...

it's not the position, it's the timing.

and no, I wouldn't choose. After I had my first (a girl) I thought it just didn't matter. They are their own person, and you love them because of that, not because they are a girl or a boy. We are so focused on sex, but not focused on people.

I didn't even find out what they were until the moment they were born.

sweatpantsmom said...

We have two girls, and my OB told me the same thing, that there are ways of increasing your chances of having a boy.

My husband's not buying it, even though I promised him he could stay away and ride the rails for a year.

My brother has a friend who had two girls and reluctantly decided to go for another in hopes of having a boy. They they had...

TWIN GIRLS.

LB said...

We started with a boy. Man, was he easy. I didn't have to brush his short hair. I could dress him in a t-shirt and jeans for school and be fine. Then his little sister came and all of a sudden we had "outfits" to dress her in. Her wardrobe triples mine. I can brush a pretty sturdy pony tail now, but anything else just falls apart. (braids, pigtails, etc.) She is all girl with Barbies, ponies, pink and pom-poms. But she also likes Darth Vader, Spongebob and pirates. No matter what you wish for, you will always be surprised by what you get.

creative-type dad said...

Anika - That completely horrifies me. I can't even imagine how people can do such a terrible thing in this day and age. When I first read your comment I grabbed and held my daughter tight completely thankful that she wasn't born in a culture that doesn't value a person for who they are, because they aren't a boy.
I'm not much of a "prayin'" man, but I do pray things out there change.

Sorry people, I would comment on your comments, but I'm depressed about India right now.

Denver Dad said...

One of the big lessons of being a parent is learning that your can't control everything, with the gender and timing of your child's arrival, one of the first moments that drives that new lesson home.

Denver Mom and I were sure that we were having a girl (not sure how we came to that conclusion) and when we found out we were having a boy, we were kind of stumped. Like a, "Oh, yeah, I guess that can happen..." sort of thing. We didn't want a girl, we just wanted a healthy kid, and we were lucky enough to get him. That was more than enough for us.

kittenpie said...

Two things here -

1) I think they may be taking the sample of centrifuging to spearate X and Y sperm, which apparently have slightly different densities. It's not perfect, hence the 77%, but there is some evidence it ups your chance. BUT - it means it's all medical, no old-fashioned baby-making.

2) hell, I would so pick another girl!

Sarah O. said...

I always wanted two girls. I got a girl first which thrilled me no end. Turns out she never, ever looked right dressed up in frilly clothes. By the time she was 18 months old she freaked any time I tried to dress her in girly clothes. It's like she knew. That never changed - she's 15 now and hasn't worn a dress/skirt since except when she's been forced to for school orchestra performances.

I researched and practiced all the in-home tricks to increase the chances that Baby #2 would be a girl, too. Seriously, I was upset when I found out that Baby 2 was a boy.

Anyhoo, both kids are fantastic, I love them both to death and I wholeheartedly recommend either gender.

dennis said...

we have one of each!

I cannot remember that any one position or another was used more than another for either imp...

Hope that guy reaaaaally likes his car because his wife sounds quite batty

Octopus Grigori said...

How can I get in on this free dirty movies thing?

junebee said...

NKOB reference? That is SO 80's, Tony.

I read that things were changing in countries like India and China, but according to Anika's comment, things are not changing. So sad.

Anika said...

Things are definitely changing here. But this thing is very deeply rooted across various religions and cultures, so its gonna take a hell lot of time to eradicate this issue. There are certains communities(e.g. Jain if you are interested) who actually mourn on birth of a girl. Instead of wishing them, people go to console them. But with more open economy, education and jobs people are slowly and steadily changing, Especially in bigger cities. I'm also a father of daughter(named anika, so that's not me) and lot of time feels very bad when I'm stopped or barred from doing certain things. Like there are certain rituals and celebrations which are only associated with Boys. The society does not considers it good if you celebrate too much for your girl's child. In our society if a kid is born then we give away gifts to close relatives but this is only restricted for boys. And there are whole lot of things whoch are so deep rooted that you start hating it.

Swastik07@gmail.com

Mitch McDad said...

I'm probably one of the few men that actually wanted girls, but I wouldn't have gone so far as to manuipulate the choice.

PunditMom said...

As a mom of a daughter adopted China, I can tell her that if she REALLY wants a girl, there are orphanages full of girls in China who would love to have a family.

Oh, The Joys said...

Yesterday, The Mayor said, "When I grow up, I'm going to be a WOMAN!"

I told him we could work it out if that's what he wanted.

Oh, the TransJoys!

nonlineargirl said...

Several of my friends with boys talk about wanting a girl. The "cute clothes" thing is apparently a strong draw. I love my daughter, but can't imagine offering my husband a car to get another kid. Maybe in exchange for him getting up every morning while I sleep in...

sugeeandersyn said...

It's PROBABLY not a good idea to create-your-own-chicken, especially if they have to get the chicken from the father watching naughty movies. I heard the way you're conceived actually has a lot to do with your personality and what type of person you might be or relationship you could have with your parents. For instance if you were born out of love and hot steamy passion, or if it was make up sex, or if your dad was jerkin' then you were carried in a test tube and out of someone's body literally for 2 hours.. etc etc.. See what I mean? It gets complicated. Test tube babies could have attachment or detachment probs or something. Know what I'm sayin'?