Monday, February 26, 2007

Toddler Rules, Gymboree, And The Oscars - All Collide Into A Fiery Ball Of Chaos!


I finally paid a visit with the wife to our daughter’s Gymboree class for the first time (I regularly teach on Saturday mornings and miss it.) I’ve been coaching the daughter to say random things like “Hi Baby!” when she sees another baby; when the wife was on the other side of the play room, my daughter said it to a crawling mom’s butt – the mom turned around, stared at me disgusted, with a look that said “why I never…!” then got up and walked away.
I can just imagine the Gymboree gossip circle now; I’m probably “that dad” now.
I did see something amusing on the wall that went something like this (paraphrasing):

Toddler Rules:
*If I once held it, it’s MINE
*If you’re holding it and it looks like it’s mine, it’s MINE
*If it makes noise, it’s MINE
*If I put it down, it’s still MINE
*Everything is MINE
We're in the beginning of the "mine" stage, which is this other realm of mystery.

Did anybody watch the Oscars last night? I thought it dragged on for about an hour and a half too long. I did like the shadow dance people, which was weird and funny... in a David Lynch kind of way (minus the midgets on tricycles, although I would have liked the addition.)
The best part was the Jack Black, Will Ferrell song and dance number (that Ricky Bobby movie was totally overlooked…!)
What I hate most about the Oscars is how some winners are completely predictable, while others I practically wanted to throw a rock at the T.V. out of shock (what’s with “Happy Feet” getting best animated over "Cars"!?)
I did like the Jennifer Hudson Speech. Yes. I know she was an American Idol and whatnot, but she was the most appreciative and authentic of the crowd. I did think Ellen should have made more of an effort to wear something more “dressy” (minus the dress-part.) red velvet should only stay on Prince and pimps. Other than that she was all right. I still think David Hasselhoff would have done a better job.

My daughter was running around most of the time playing before going to bed. Every time she saw a woman in a fancy dress she yelled “Prince-ESS!” When everybody clapped, she clapped and yelled “YEA!” When somebody we didn’t like won or they showed some cheesy celeb (DiCaprio, Marky Mark, etc.) she would put her finger on her nose and say “STINK-EEE!!!”.

25 comments:

Whit said...

DeCrapio (yes, I'm 12) is the king of cheese, yet strangely enough the men's club of Hollywood seem to welcome him with open arms.

Mark Mark doesn't bother me. I actually like him in most movies. The Fresh Bunch? Not so much.

Maria said...

I watched some of the Oscars...but hey, Battlestar Galactica was on and that wins hands down.

I was bummed that Babel didn't win. But, I liked The Departed.

I liked Ellen's outfits..cheesy would have been if she wore a poofy dress.

And..oh dear, I love DiCaprio. Well, not in Titanic. Anything else but that one. We saw Blood Diamond yesterday and I thought that was pretty fine.

LB said...

I thought Ellen was hilarious when she was explaining to Steven Speilberg, how to use a digital camera like he has never used one before.
I thought The Departed was pretty good. I'll have to watch some of the others.

Sarah O. said...

I should write about this on my own blog, but I have a brilliant idea about shortening Oscar acceptance speeches.

Oscar's website people could ask nominees for acceptance speeches in advance. Once the awards are given, the Oscar folks could simply post the winners' speeches.

Ta-daaa! The winners could thank everybody they want in writing and everybody with web access could read every word.

Which of course no one will except the people who've been thanked. Those people could print and frame the speech.

We'd all be spared the agony of de speech and the Oscar show would flow WAY better.

Mitch McDad said...

I admit it. I dig the oscars. The worst part of the show was sitting next to my mother-in-law as she talked incessantly for 4 hours. But I digress.

That toddler thing is funny with an older sibling. Mine keeps stealing stuff from the 3 year old.

InterstellarLass said...

I watched all of the Oscars. I liked the change to the costume award where they actually showed the costumes rather than those weird drawings. And I liked that they cut the President of the Motion Picture Academy to a 1 minute spiel. Never liked listening to that anway!

I loved it when Ellen brought out the vaccum cleaner. Brilliant!

Lisa said...

I wouldn't watch the Oscars even if there was nothing else on to watch. Oh, wait... there WASN'T anything else worth watching, so guess what? I didn't watch TV. I read and went to bed!

Enjoy the "mine" phase. It's better than the "not me" phase by far.

metro mama said...

I liked Ellen Degeneres. What was up with JH's jacket?

Pageant Mom said...

I missed the Oscars (oops) I really do NOT have the attention span for them (although I do like to see who won later!!)

Oh, I didn't know you were supposed to outgrow those rules... better rethink my directive on life now...

creative-type dad said...

Sarah O. - that's a great idea! They need to make the whole thing about an hour. Any more is just too much.

InterstellarLass - I actually like the weird drawings. A few years ago, they would show the sketches and them the final costumes.

Mitch McDad - dude, that sucks. I would have sent her to pick up some potatoes at a far-away market...

Maureen said...

Man, how does your kid let you watch the Oscars? My dear husband did say that I should watch in the back room while he entertained the kiddos but that would have made me feel like such a dips*!t. I like to watch the Oscars even though we haven't been out to a movie in over a year. My plan for next year is to invite some other child-having adults over and let the kids play while the grownups place bets on who is going to give the best and worst acceptance speeches. I just have to meet some other people who have kids!

My daughter is in the "mine" stage. If her older brother even walks within 10 feet of one of "her" toys she completely loses it and is convinced he is thinking of ways to take her things. Yes, we're in the terrible twos as well.

Kate said...

I missed the Oscar's this year, as I fell asleep next to my 1 year old at 9:30.

Sounds like a didn't miss a damn thing!

MamaLee said...

I didn't see most of the movies, but I did watch the Oscars on and off. I think Cars was ROBBED.

And that lady with the butt in the air needs to lighten up. Her kids are going to say MUCH worse to her fat arse!

~*Kelli*~ said...

I agree with the mom who said "wait until you get to the 'not me' stage." Our youngest is 7, and from her on up, they take NO responsibility for anything. Our child "Not Me" does so much crap, if I ever find him/her, I'm going to have to discipline him/her. "Not Me" never cleans the bathroom, loses the kids' backpacks and binders, trashes their bedrooms, leaves all the lights and electronics on...just pathetic. ;)

dadinprogress said...

ellen is the bomb. i loved when she apologized for miscategorizing penelope cruz, then said and i was wrong about dame judy dench having her eyes done -- it's her boobs. and telling spielberg to center the picture better was classic. did anyone see beyonce give stink eye to jennifer hudson when she won? classic. and who agrees that divorce has done wonders for reese witherspoon? i've always had a soft spot, but she's smokin now. did your daughter have a name or gesture for scorsese's eyebrows?

dennis said...

Let's just say that the Oscar's allowed me to get some quality nap time, much like driving through Kansas. One can sleep all day and when you wake up, you find you have not missed anything...

creative-type dad said...

~*Kelli*~ - you're scaring me....

dadinprogress - scorsese's eyebrows, I think he could be Bert's father.

Darren a/k/a Clare's Dad said...

Just to weigh in, I like the Oscars, but this year not so much. I liked Ellen. I didn't like Pilobolus or most of the other fluff, I think Cars was totally robbed, and I was thrilled for Scorcese. I hate DiCaprio too...mostly since Titantic...I liked him in Growing Pains.

creative-type dad said...

Darren a/k/a Clare's Dad -- Yeah, me too. I think Leo played a pretty good homeless kid in the Seaver household. As a leading man, I don't think so.

kittenpie said...

Hey, that red velvet tux was GUCCI and worn by both Gwyneth and Claudia Schiffer to awards shows about a decade ago... (Oh, am I showing how cluttered my brain is? Sorry.)

L.A. Daddy said...

Your Oscars dragged on too long? Oy. I had the thing on Tivo. With my daughter running around and screaming and yelling at the TV and LA Mommy chasing her around... Well, I had to keep pausing it. It basically took me 7 hours to watch the whole damn thing.

Redneck Mommy said...

I stopped watching after seeing Beyonce give the stink eye to Miss Hudson.

But I love Ellen. If I could rock a red velvet suit like that, I would never take it off. Alas, as a stay at home mom who only leaves to go buy toilet paper and KFC, I'm thinking the suit wouldn't work so well for me!

As for the 'mine' stage. Get used to it. My nine and ten year olds still suffer from that syndrome. And the "NOT ME's" too!

Parenting. Gotta love it.

scribbit said...

Happy Feet was so bad a movie I wanted to run screaming from the theater. But it was total Hollywood. Do you really think a movie about gas-guzzling cars could win over an environmental diatribe about a penguin coming out of his closet?

wayabetty said...

The hubbie was watching Battlestar and I'm not much of an award show watcher, just wanted to see if my favorite movie won "Pan's Labyrinth" an awesome movie to watch!

I was very surprised to see how fat Al Gore got. Never liked that mug face and comes to find out he's such a hypocrite to boot. Talking about global warming etc, when it takes like some ridiculous number of electricity just to warm his huge mansions!!

creative-type dad said...

kittenpie - wow! how do you remember that??

Redneck Mommy - KFC and TP? nothing wrong with that...

scribbit - Totally agree! Maybe if Pixar used Prius cars, then it would have won...

wayabetty - I think 'Big Al' is on the Jerry Lewis Diet and runnning up his electric bill heating up Hot Pockets...