Monday, February 12, 2007

Play Dates And Other Couples With Kids: What Do You Do When You’re Stood Up At The Disco?


We were stood up, literally, at a Disco. Now we know what Donna Summer was complaining about all those years (maybe still is?)

We were invited to an event called Baby Loves Disco Saturday afternoon. A few months ago we had gone to this engagements’ premiere with a few other friends and their small kids, which turned out to be a total bust. The concept is pretty cool - mixing once clubbing parents with Gymboree and fruity drinks with Belvedere Vodka. The first L.A. event was held at a stinky place on east Melrose near the 101 – a neighborhood you don’t want to be at even in bright daylight. That old location lacked simple things like air conditioning, soap, and running water (kind of like Tijuana.) The new location is much better – and right near the Chinese Theater and Roosevelt hotel.

A couple had invited us there for a play date; they have one girl around the same age as ours. They’re really nice people we met awhile back shortly after our daughter was born; they recently moved to L.A. from San Francisco. The dad works in the fashion industry and the mom in media sales. We’d like to think that they’re our kind of ‘peeps’ - pretty hip, joke-cracking, and creative people - the only exception being that they dress better – Fred Segal types, while we’re Target ones (not really, but you know what I mean.)
While leaving the Disco it was hard not wondering if something was wrong with the relationship if they decided to skip out on us. I don’t know, did we not call enough? Did I go too far with the La Leche League joke? Did they meet another couple along the way that’s ‘cooler’ or (gulp) watches football!?
The mom had called us after shortly after leaving the Disco; apparently the dad went on a bike ride earlier that lasted longer than he had anticipated – and she was really upset about it. No harm done, we weren’t troubled at all and it didn’t prevent us from having fun (we did, and got some pretty cool freebies.)

One thing I noticed, after we had our daughter, is that becoming a new parent makes you unconsciously seek other couples in the same situation as your own (in our case new parents with one kid.) In some weird way, it's like dating all over again.
It’s not that we’re unhappy with our current friends (all 95% of them with no kids) we still very much enjoy seeing them just as we did before our daughter was born. They’re just like us, except we have a kid. Its just sometimes it’s nice to talk freely about ‘kid stuff’ , like poop shapes resembling celebrities and odd-colored fluids without feeling a little strange.

Am I the only one here?

17 comments:

Ben & Bennie said...

You're not the only one. There have been several times in my life that friends come or go, usually around significant life changes. School graduations, marriage, divorce, remarriage, having children, having a special needs child.

That last one was the one that hurt the most but we understood that some folks can't figure out how to deal with it. It's just a part of life.

And please don't let your daughter learn The Hustle.

InterstellarLass said...

Nope. Totally normal I think. A lot of my friends totally bailed on me when I had kids. I think green snot scares them for some strange reason.

We had KFC for dinner Friday night. Mmmmm. I love me some Original Recipe!

Kate said...

My husband and I are terrible about arranging playdates because even though we would like our son to have some interaction with kids his own age, if we don't know the parents well (like some parents from his pre-school) we're like, "We have to talk to the parents with idle chit-chat? What if they're weird?"

But I do know what you mean about trying to get to know other people with kids. Most of our friends are kidless, too.

metro mama said...

We like hanging out with our neighbours, whose children are grown. They understand us, but are not encumbered like we are, so it's easier to get together!

radioactive girl said...

When my husband and I first had kids, most of our friends did not have any yet (we were really young). We have mainly found new friends. Not on purpose, but because it IS nice to hang out with people who get what you are going through.

MamaLee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MamaLee said...

You are not alone. It IS nice to hang out with people who can relate to what you are going through.

Hopefully you'll have a better time at your next Disco Dance. You will... "Survive." Sorry, I had to say it! lol

junebee said...

My big problem is finding people with kids who drink (the parents, not the kids). I mean, not that I drink to the point of irresponsibility, but it does make that snot and poop alot more interesting to talk about. Everyone around here is so darn DRY! Kids go better with alcohol, in my opinion.

Maria said...

I haven't been too successful with play dates. It seems like Liv always likes the kids who have parents who don't fit with us for one reason or another. Luckily, as they get older, you don't have to "date" the parents.

Sadly, my best friend in the world has a daughter exactly Liv's age and she and Liv can hardly stand each other. Kind of awkward.

creative-type dad said...

junebee - totally agree! we don't get 'sauced', but we sure like good cocktail.

Kate - i say get out there and start dating, I mean, finding other couples with kids.

InterstellarLass - Man, I sure can go for some popcorn chicken right now.

Ben & Bennie - too late...

T. said...

You are not alone. While I love my single, or childless friends and goodness knows, I need them sometimes to forget the horrors of parenting, it is wonderful to be able to find a couple with kids and let the rugrats loose while we knock back a few drinks and moan about the pitfuls of parenting.

Generally, while trying to ignore our children's attempts at maiming one another.

wayabetty said...

Dude! That sucked big time being stood up like that. Yup, you're the only one! Just kidding! We don't do anything with any other couples b/c I think they would decide to stop having kids at 1 after seeing us with 3.5.

kittenpie said...

I know exactly what you mean. It's not that you can't relate to the childless friends, but it's nice to have friends you can relate to on that major part of your life, too.

The only trouble I find is it's harder to get together because there are two sides who can be struck down by the various problems of illness, late naps, and so on!

L.A. Daddy said...

Yeah, it can happen like that here in town. You usually get more reliability out of the Target-types than the Fred Segal-types. The more Fred they are, the more likely the stand-up factor, I'm afraid.

Ack! That was a gross generalization and unfair labeling of hipster parents!

Ah, well. What do you expect from a football watcher?

daddy in a strange land said...

We really lucked out--somehow, when we moved to this town knowing nobody (pre-kids), we found a bunch of couple friends, and then we all started getting pregnant. The oldest kid is 6 months older than the next, and that one is 6 months older than the next, and the latest will be more in 2 months. We're all "exiles" from elsewhere here, so we're totally each other's support system. We lucked out, dude.

Em said...

People without kids just don't 'get it'. They can't discuss poop and spit up and potty training and nap time with the true gusto of a parent! Instead, they nod and pretend to see an old high school friend across the room.

creative-type dad said...

daddy in a strange land - such a place exist where you all plan this pro-creation? Are you in China?

L.A. Daddy - I think we've just discovered a new breeds of parents- Target-types, Fred Segal-types...

wayabetty - the wife's sista' has 3.8 kids. That really makes me think...