Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Super Tuesday, Super Bowl, Super Absorbent


Even though I vote, I don’t like politics. I see it as a necessary evil, kind of like Tom Cruise – he’s annoying but most of his movies are entertaining.
The speeches, listening to NPR, watching the ‘live’ news coverage last night just keeps reiterating that it’s all just a big obnoxious show.

One of these days I want to start my own country. Maybe an island somewhere in the South Pacific where I can just name myself King (wearing Ray-Bans, big gold chains, velour tracksuit, white sneakers) and I could cut a deal with KFC to provide my people with Spicy Chicken and free health care. And the big export would be $8 bottled water with some cool name like “Sexy POW-AH Energy Water” that prevents hair loss, promotes weight loss, cures erectile dysfunction, and is loaded with anti-oxidants from Acai that prevents aging and car accidents.
I would have best county on Earth.

Super Bowl party - Don’t Forget Your Huggies
We went to a Super Bowl party on Sunday –

Disclosure:
Before you all start thinking I’m smashing beer cans on my head now and watching Football rest assured, I am not. Football still makes no sense to me.

This was a party with entertainment industry-types and the purpose was to smooze, drink food and wine that we all couldn’t pronounce, and watch commercials.
And yes, in case you’re wondering I did bring a bucket of KFC.

I was chatting with some fellow parents about this horrible experience called Potty Training. Giving them a rundown of my failed attempts, pleading and asking for advice, secrets, and voodoo, whatever it takes to make a child use the toilet.
The advice rolled in:

Mom #1: We didn’t start until my son was 4. It was just too much trouble.
Mom #2: Don’t sweat it. She’ll let you know when she’s ready. My daughter started kindergarten and is still wearing a Pull-Up.
Dad/Mom: Our son is 7 years old and he still wears a Pull-Up. No big deal. Some others kids in his class still wear them – it’s normal.

(Twilight theme music song starts)

Started at 4? Kindergarten? 7 year olds 'still' wearing Pull-Ups?!?! Are you kidding me!? Parents? Please tell me this isn’t true. And if it is – lie to me. Lie like you’ve never lied before.

I had a dream where my daughter was about to take her wedding pictures; she quickly stopped in her tracks and then asked my wife to change her Pull-Up. I woke up screaming in a cold sweat...

43 comments:

Whirlwind said...

Wow, pull ups at 7??? Maybe at night. Most schools have a "must be potty trained" policy.

Hang in there, she'll let you know when she's ready. My oldest was almost 3.

Dan said...

I really do think you need to take more of a relaxed approach to it. When she's walking down the aisle on her wedding day it isn't going to matter if she was potty trained at age two or four. Although it might be fun to start talking about it in your speech.

Awesome Mom said...

My eldest is almost 4 and we really have not pushed the potty training. I have a bit of an excuse though since he had a stroke when he was an infant so pulling down the pants ect is still a lot for him due to him having only one working hand. I figure he is not going to go to college in diapers, so it will happen.... eventually.

Melody said...

I'm all for not pushing them, but I'm thinking by the time they got to 4, 5 or 7, I would have to start making an issue of it.

and no, it's NOT normal to be wearing a pull-up at 7 (Maybe at bedtime - but not all day)

SciFi Dad said...

NOT NORMAL.

My wife used to teach JK/SK here in Ontario, and if the kid (who would be 4, or turning 4 by the end of December) showed up in a pullup or diaper, he'd be sent home with a note.

Our daughter expressed an interest around the time she turned two, and in about a month of panties by day, pullup at night, she was done.

Kerrie said...

"she quickly stopped in her step asking my wife to change her Pull-Up first"....I just about pee'd myself when I read that. HA!!!!

As far as potty training goes, the more you push her the more she'll fight it. My daughter is about to turn 3 and she could care less about it.

My 5 year old (son) didn't really get it down until he was 4.

I know it sucks, but she really will do it in her own time. Until then - I love hearing about your crazy ideas about it. :)

Anonymous said...

My son is only 15 mos old, so I have no idea about potty training, but I have watched neighbors potty train daughters. One of them let her daughter go without a diaper or panties at home during the day so if she needed to go, she didn't have to take anything off (she usually had a dress on, so she could just sit in the pot). I've also heard of putting the panties on, then put the diaper over that so she feels uncomfortable and wants to use the potty, but there's not a mess to clean up. Good luck!!!

Catherine

Darren said...

If those stories are true, get out of L.A. Now.

mama speak said...

Maybe it's an LA thing? These are the ones who couldn't afford to outsource the potty training??? Pull ups at night ok, during day Nope. And at night it's really not something they can control, it's a bladder maturity thing.

So, Daytime & the potty, Dude, the more you push the more she won't. She knows she's got you on this one and until you truly get over it, she will manipulate you with it. 1) She's a girl; they are born with this manipulation thing, just ask my husband, we have two of them. He doesn't stand a chance.
2) At this point I would say it's not an ability issue, it's become a control issue, in which case see #1.
And you know the pull up thing, she could always be an astronaut. Hee.

Candace & Anna said...

My daughter turned 2 in August and we set out on the potty train in November. She was pretty much done by mid-November.

I let her run around naked during the day for 2 days. They can feel the sensation better without anything on down there.

We did NOT use pull ups or diapers after we decided to move forward. They just confuse the issue! Go straight from diapers to panties! Maybe at night use a pull up although we didn't.

Here is our secret weapon lol. Are you ready for this? CHOCOLATE!!! Yes I am terrible! Bribery is not something that I would typically do but hey I was tired of buying diapers lol. So after getting her to go pee pee that first time(sitting her on the potty right after she woke up from nap) I gave her an m&m. Hmmm she thinks if I go pee pee in there I get an m&m, if I go pee pee in my panties I get cold and yucky feeling. Hmmmmm!

We had about 3 or 4 accidents the first day. 1 or 2 the second day and after that we would have accidents if there were only "strange" potties and not our own. So we stayed close to home for a while lol.

At night I get her up once to go pee pee and sometimes yes she does wet the bed. Most of the time she goes whenever I get her up and we are golden the rest of the night.

Good luck and I hope you can work it out. I tell you having a potty trained child is an amazing thing! *Sorry I didn't mean to write a novel!

Sarah O. said...

You always crack me up.

Beck said...

No, no, no. NOT normal. Four year olds in Canada go to school at least part time and the other kids would circle like mocking vultures if they knew - AND THEY WOULD - that one of their brethern was peeing themselves. I don't like to think of the fate of the seven-year-old non-trainee.
My 2 1/2 year old is being slow to train, and we're getting flack about THAT. I'd like to see the mother of that 7 year old move to MY town.

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Oh dear lord, seven and in pull ups? I certainly hope the mom meant at night only. That I can understand because it's only recently my 7.5 year old stop wetting the bed. But daytime, he's been out of pull ups for about 4 years.

It's not unheard for a 4 year old to still have potty training trouble. For me and my extra strong-willed son (the 7.5 yr old) he was 3.5 before he was out of pull ups, but we still dealt with accidents frequently.

Shhhh....I secretly think those kids who are that stubborn about PT'ing go one to be extra smart.

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Oh yeah, I forgot.

I totally want to live on your island.

samokdaddy said...

Okay...I've been dreaming about an island like that for a long long long time. My wife is from a city on an island in the south pacific (Davao). We went there again last year and damn...I don't want to pay a heating bill as long as I live. I want to live in flip flops, eat chicken out of buckets, and just hang out on the beach. So...if you need a vice president...an assistant prime minister...or just a filthy lacky to do the dirty work of the island...I'm your guy.

On the pull up issue...hey. On the island, kids can't get their sarongs or grass skirts until they're potty trained. And they can't get their own bucket of chicken until they ditch the pullups...Okay...so I'm being harsh, but potty training on the island is a must! That seven year old needs to be in the grass skirt or the sarong...and not in a set of huggies...

Dad Stuff said...

One of our kids was a little late for training too. But we still didn't stop trying.
I hear that if you watch a lot of Tom Cruise movies, it takes longer to train.

creative-type dad said...

Dad Stuff -- It all makes sense now...

samokdaddy -- Man, you are totally going to be my Vice King.

Beck -- Wow! I like Canada's methods. Can I mail my daughter up there for a few days...?

Candace & Anna -- Yes, we're doing all that now. Except the chocolate didn't work, so we're using stickers and $20 bills.

Catherine -- Yes, we're doing that. The first time she pooped on the floor I wanted to spread newspapers over it. That wasn't a smart move...

the weirdgirl said...

If my son is still in pull-ups at seven I'm retiring my parent hat. As it is, he's almost three, peeing in the potty fine but still running off to poop in his pants. I've just decided to ditch the "what big boys do" talk and instead ask him how the poops feels in his pants. His answer? "Yucky."

It's a start.

Bananas said...

I'd lie but honestly it just wouldn't be good for you. And I'm ALL ABOUT what's good for you.

We tried to potty-train CJ (unsuccessfully) like a hundred kabillion times. Then, when he turned four, we tried again and he did it in ONE WEEKEND and NEVER HAD AN ACCIDENT THEREAFTER. I'm not even kidding.

So I'm a fan of waiting till they're ready. Just sayin'.

carrie said...

At this point, living in your Utopia sounds pretty darn good! Bring on the KFC! :)

♥♥♥ A- Licious ♥♥♥ said...

ohhhh...wow...great info for me too...more so the comments. mine is only 17 months...im so afriad of potty training...

but age 7???? ugh.

and...your island...i want to go!!

;o)

Colleen said...

I agree with candice & anna - BRIBE AS THOUGH YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! No, really, don't underestimate the power of positive reinforcement. We did a sticker chart - first it was three stickers = $1 prize. Then it was four, then five...then we were able to phase it out completely. He got a sticker when his pants were dry AND he went on the potty.

To be honest, with our son, "hi-fives" worked just as well. It was the celebration that mattered!

Tismee2 said...

You have the problem not her! Like mama speak says, she's got you hook line and sinker there. Does she walk round with her fingers in an 'L' shape on her forehead when she sees you?

She's just waiting for the M&M tricks to start, you'll see, and then it'll be the Barbie house and pony......

pixie said...

Maybe she meant they wear the pull-ups just at night? I can't imagine a 7-year-old wearing them all the time. There would be a lot of rustling and bustling in that third grade classroom!

Slow Panic said...

i don't want to be lumped in with those crazy people you talked to BUT i potty trained my kids at 4 -- RIGHT whey they turned four. it took about three days and i was done. with my first i fought him for two years and kept giving up, but at four he got it in just two or three days. so just hold on. this really is going to happen.

Paco Argenti said...

Oh wowow, your dream, it cries out (in funny German accent) for very deep analysis.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Oh, wow. Are you shitting me? (No pun intended.) Friggin 7?!? If my kids are still in pull-ups at 7, please drive to Georgia and shoot me.

Seriously.

The whole island idea? Had it. Told the husband we needed to buy an island and a surplus submarine. Then, declare war on the US. Then, surrender and demand millions in war reparations. We'll be rich! Bwaaaaaa-ha-ha-ha!

The Real Mother Hen said...

You want to rule an island?
That is so humble.
I want to rule the universe though :)

Roth Family Adventures said...

Wow...those parents at the party sound lazy. Pull ups at age seven? That's so wrong. Our son is not even two and we are already potty training. He's only gone in the potty once, but he knows what it is and what it's for.

BTW...I want to live in your country. That is if you share the wealth amassed through exporting that amazing water.

creative-type dad said...

Roth Family Adventures -- Sure, you can have the water, as long as I get the chicken.

The Real Mother Hen -- Wow. That must require HUGE gold chains.

pixie -- I'm not sure. Even wearing a Pull-Up at night, isn't that kind of odd? Can't he just wet the bed like the rest of us.... :)

BookMomma said...

I. MUST. be allowed. toliveonyourisland!!
Who do I talk to about immigrating?

ronUpNorth said...

pull ups at 7? that's madness. I'm not really sure why but our kids didn't have a problem at all with potty training. my son had just turned two when we started training him. and our daughter is 20 months right now and she's already going to the potty on her own. she loves it, walks around all day.."potty, potty, poopy". she loves being called the "big girl", and we make sure to give a round of applause when she is done. We also bought a kids book called "go girl, go potty" that she loves and we read it to her while she's on the potty. that seems to be her motivator.

we had a little trouble with our son at first. the winning method was a potty sucess chart. he got a gold star sticker (kids love stickers) every time he went. when he got 5 or 10 stars we would give him surprises from the dollar store. that really motivated him and within two weeks of that method he was good to go.

Jenster said...

Can I move to your country? My son would like to be your ambassador of KFC. He's good with an airsoft gun in case the natives get wiley.

I have no qualms about lying to you, but this is no lie. Starting kindergarten in a Pull Up is NOT normal! Yes, some kids do but it usually means there's an issue. Geesh. When I stressed about my son not getting it everyone told me - including teachers - "You don't see kids going to kindergarten in diapers. Don't worry." I was 3 years old before he finally got it. And then that was it. Never an accident afterwards.

Smiling Mom said...

My son, super easy. He ran naked for months at home and was potty trained without (much) incident.

My daughter, 2, can go in the toilet. She can hold it for a long time and was going with no incident.

Then she decided to give up. She freaks when I try to put a pull up on her, she freeks if I don't put her diaper on in a timely manner. She will no longer run naked around the house.

Sigh. I guess I have to try different tactics. I like what the lady said about girls being manipulative. Ain't that the truth!

kittenpie said...

Not normal. Unh unh.
Three? Still fine. In fact, my MIL said she didn't start any training until her kids were three because she always had another baby to look after. But by the time you're nearing four, you're talking about going to school - real school - in diapers. Misterpie teaches kindergarten, and has seen on ekind in a diaper. One kid so globally delayed, he hardly speaks and is basically still a toddler on every level.

But still - yours is not even three yet. I do think backing off it for a while would stop setting it up as a power struggle, and trying again later might work better. You've still got time before you're worried about being that kid.

Tiff said...

our three year old was a preemie so he's a little behind with a lot of things. So potty training is not something he's remotely interested in. My mom is having a cow cause he's not potty trained and how horrible i am that i can't train my child. She uses the You and your brother were trained at one. what ever mom!!!

Beverly said...

You just gotta take off their pants. People are too afraid of having their carpet peed on, but that's a part of potty training. Maybe it helps to have old carpet like mine.

InterstellarLass said...

Um. Any parent that readily admits their child is 7 and still in pull-ups is the obvious source of the issue for the child. And I'm shocked that any kid could start school without being properly potty-trained.

My kids started when they were around 2-ish, and were done by just after their 3rd birthdays. Yes, training your daughter if she has no interest may be a bit like Sisyphus rolling a rock up hill. But keep at it. Maybe take a brief break, but don't sweat it. She'll get there.

Peter said...

remember, you cant buy diapers and beer in the same purchase or homeland security will lay the smackdown. this goes especially for superbowl sunday. all this is true and verifiable on wikipedia: the most trusted source IN THE WORLD.

wayabetty said...

It would be so wrong if we're in our "Depends" already right?

I'm going to rub it in your face Tony, my 2.9 y/o 3rd child is already out of diapers. One day she decides she wants to wear undie like her older cousins and that's it.

Aaaaand, you have to rub it in my face with that photo of Eli Manning holding the trophy huh?!

creative-type dad said...

wayabetty -- Is that who that is? I wasn't sure, I just thought he was some random Football player.

Beverly -- So far, thats what seems to be working. At home she's pretty much pantless and thankfully, she'll ask to be put on the potty. When we're out, she'll just go in whatever she's wearing.
I figure we're 40% there...

ronUpNorth -- Stickers have been huge. We don't have a chart, although now I'm starting to think that's a good idea so she can work her way up to a toy.

Leslie said...

Honestly? Potty training, if anything, is more for YOU than her right? Get her trained! Don't wait until she is 4. What is wrong with people? I've heard it is just a matter of consistency and being dedicated no matter how the child resists. But what do I know? My daughter still pees in her pants at least four times a day still. (granted, she's allowed)

painted maypole said...

nighttime pullups at 7 aren't terribly unusual, but during the day? please tell me YOU are lying.