Sunday, February 21, 2010

No, You STILL Can’t Have a Cat!


My daughter has been begging for a cat again. Apparently my excuses from last year (“Big Bird use to have a little brother, but cats ate him”, “Cats eat Fairies”…) have started to diminish in there effectiveness because she’s now prepared to risk the lives of both Big Bird and Fairies so she can have a cat.

That’s not good news for me, or Big Bird.

Somehow she just doesn’t understand that all cats secretly want to hurt and eventually kill people. Maybe it’s my fault for not speaking enough about the dangers and well-known fact that they’re all killing machines (click to view larger):
(Illustration credit to this guy)

So being a man of compromise, and a Dad who not only wants save his daughter from a carnivorous cat so she can live long enough to see her 5th birthday, I did what any other Dad would do.

I bought her an Ant Farm instead (The kind that glows with cool space-age gel! So cool…)


My wife wasn’t impressed because not only can’t you pet Ants, because they have no fur and aren't "cute", but these Ants sting when touched.

To which I replied “...it’s better to get stung than killed by a cat!”

13 comments:

SciFi Dad said...

Insects can be evil too. Don't you remember The Sandkings?

Eric said...

Amen.

handstowar said...

I gotta get my wife to read this...

James (SeattleDad) said...

Plus, you most likely won't step in Ant barf in the dark at the bottom of the steps first thing in the morning.

I'll trade my cat for your ant farm if you are ever reconsidering.

Kelly said...

LOL! I can't believe you didn't state the OBVIOUS...pregnant women can't be around cats! (well, kitty litter) easy 9 month excuse!
Hope that ant farm doesn't break open....

Amrita said...

Oh yes Tony. I am no cat lover too and wouldn 't want one in myn house.

But I have plenty of "stray" ant in the house.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Which begs the question...when did this unfounded hatred of cats start?

painted maypole said...

i chuckle at this, even as my darling Shakespeare purrs in my lap.

creative-type dad said...

James (SeattleDad) -- Never. Well maybe after 3 months when I have to clean them up.

Kelly -- I need a better long term solution. 9 months gives some glimmer of hope.

Daddy Geek Boy -- 1979

Always Home and Uncool said...

I'll get a cat when the turkey vultures in our yard run out of squirrels.

Beck said...

I have cats and I'm not disagreeing with you. I've woken up once too often to a cat staring at me contemplatively, obviously wondering what I'd taste like.

Denguy said...

You did the right thing. Cats ARE dangerous! Well, except that one from the Stephen King book....

ArtistUnplugged said...

Haven't convinced her that you and her mother have chosen a pet baby instead?