How to Get a Toddler to Eat: Chapter 143

Apparently telling a 2-year old to eat because there are kids are starving somewhere in the world doesn’t work.

We’ve been having trouble this past week getting my daughter to eat. I’m not sure what happened or what caused this behavior; it’s as if she’s lost all interest in food. And to think just a few weeks ago she had the appetite of a construction worker.

Not anymore.

Half the time I’m not sure where she’s getting her energy from; I'm beginning to think maybe she feeding from the radiation off the TV. The wife doesn’t think that’s possible. Obviously she doesn’t watch The Discover Channel.
So I came up with an idea: I’ve invited her favorite stuffed animal, Mr.L.B., to join the family at the dinner table.


He has his own place setting, sits quietly at the table while he eats, behaves, uses his “please's” and “thank you's”, finishes all of his vegetables, and comes up with pleasant dinner conversion.
Well, except the time his favorite presidential candidate dropped out.
Anyhow, it seemed she loved the idea because she actually started eating a little. But I think she’s had enough because this morning I saw this in the bathroom trashcan:


It's time to come up with another idea.

Hello My Name Is Tony... I Have A Poop Obsessed Child. AND The Monster Is In The Mail

I’m still not sure what caused this fascination. Was it telling my daughter that Santa only brings gifts to toilet users? Maybe it was the time I told her that Elmo cries every time she poops in her pants? Or maybe, just maybe, it began when I told her a pooped filled diaper was like KFC to monsters and it made them visit our house like a drive-thru with junk-mail coupons?

Yes, I think that’s what did it and now everything is poop to her these days.

In the car: Look!! Car making POO-PEE!
Eating ice cream: HA! HA! Dad-DEE….Poo-Pee! POOOO-PEEE!
While in the bathroom: (Knock! Knock!) Dad-DEE…you making POOO-PEE!
Watching TV: Mickey going Poooo-PEE??
At the market: (virtually yelling) Where’s Poo-Peeeee!? Poooo-Pee, where are you?
At the dog: Doggy! You make Poo-Pee??
When eating: Poo-Pee! Poo-Pee! Pooooo-peeeee!

So my question is – with all this talk? Why doesn’t she use the toilet?!

How To Catch A Monster?
Actually, it was pretty easy. When my daughter woke up from her nap I told her I caught it while she was sleeping and then showed her a sealed envelope with a picture tucked inside.
We then took a walk to the mailbox and she dropped it in. Done!

Oh yeah, this is what the monster looked like:
And we sent it to its owner:

And then she asked if the monster had made poo-pee.