When Mommy’s Gone, It’s Gummy Bears and Ice Cream for Breakfast (Hooray!)

Single parents, I empathize with you. I just don’t understand how in the world do you do it. And especially those with small kids --- you people are either crazy or deserve a medal (and a cookie -- a good one too...like from Nordstrom's, or J.C. Penny's)

The wife’s job sent her to Canada early Sunday morning and pretty much left me to play the role of single parent for a few days. Which meant more 'daddy and daughter time' other than my normal one day a week when the wife is studying for her GMAT. I do pretty well on those days. In fact, some might say almost at a 'professional' level.
I didn’t do too bad on the first solo day (piece of cake!), did alright on the second (how in the world am I going to get these tangles out of her hair!), and today, well now I’m counting the hours until the wife gets back. This morning I forgot “the stinky blanket” (the whole world stops if “the stinky blanket” isn’t around) and gave in to her breakfast demands of popcorn ("crackcorn" as she calls it.)
Today when our sitter saw my daughter she told me that she could tell mommy wasn’t around (How? Can she smell the Chicken McNuggets odor?)

It’s tough doing simple things that I once took for granted, like going to the bathroom in peace. Unless, of course, I want to hear screams (DAD-DEEEEE!!!) accompanied by pounding and little fingers and toes sliding under the closed door like an alien trying to attack and then eat me.

No sir-ee, it just ain’t right.

Yesterday while my daughter was playing in her toy kitchen I made a run for the “Loo”, the screaming followed me (HA! - I can still run faster!) When I closed and locked the door behind me the yelling stopped followed by a mysterious silence (is she alright? Maybe I should check on her…? But I really, really have to go...it's been , like 2 days and I ate Chili Beans for breakfast---why!?) Then she slid her poopie book (the potty training one we use when we put her on the toilet) under the door and said “Daddeee here, poo-peeee!” and then I heard feet running back to her room while singing her poopie song.

That was weird...

I still haven’t been able to take away “the stinky blanker” to throw it in the washer machine (she sleeps with it in a tight kung-foo grip.) I still can’t fix her hair -- It’s just not humanly possible! She's looking like a mini version of Phil Spector. And her diet consist of popcorn, goldfish, tortilla chips, and freezed-dried peas (Yes! veggies...success!!)
The wife is sure going to love me when she gets back.

Single Professional Women Having Babies Alone. Single Professional Men Just Buy A Porsche

I just found out that a friend of ours is pregnant by "In Vitro Fertilization" (or IVF). Not only pregnant but with twins.
She’s in her late 30’s and like most women the wife and I work with (the ones nearing 40 or older), most are skipping a dude (or partner), adopting from China or Russia, or getting IVF treatment (which by the way - nasty- I didn’t know they had to inject themselves with drugs!?) oh yeah - and order some sperm (some are online from donor guys around the world – kind of like match.com or eharmony but only for the goods.)

Our friend is smart, has quite a head on her shoulders, put a whole lot of thought into this, and there’s no doubt in my mind that she wouldn’t do the best she could and be a fine parent. But from my own experience, 1 kid is really hard with 2 parents at the helm – I can’t even imagine turning that equation around (that's tough for anyone!) I can’t help but feel nothing but empathy for her. I saw a woman at Target today with twin infant carriers and she looked like she needed a few drinks (or vacation) and she was with a dude throwing beef jerky and batteries in the cart near the checkout (by the way- they know men are impulse shoppers by putting that stuff there – I wish they sold men’s underwear that way.)

Later the wife and I were chatting after meeting this friend for lunch -- who is also a pro-woman with a big fancy J.O.B. who could do fine on her own, etc. I asked if she would have done the same if she never “found me” – she replied with “yeah, I think I would have.” Just because she’s always wanted to be a mom and she couldn't imagine missing out on that life experience. But she is more than thrilled not to have to taken that route.
Me? – No, I would have just bought a Porsche, maybe an Aston Martin, and a few embroidered silk jackets with dragons on them.
Growing up I never really considered being a father (as with the vast majority of my single guys friends now.) Now thinking about it about 12 years ago, I was asked once about the possibility by a lesbian friend who was looking for a guy to have a kid with - that was odd even being asked. But no serious consideration even crossed my mind until I met the wife and my whole outlook on life changed. In the single days, I could never have imagined of being a single guy raising a kid if I never found anyone. I had 3 friends in High School who were raised by their Dads and they were all a mess. Actually one of them went on to do porn (so I’ve heard…) Maybe that’s why I was so jaded?
But who knows, maybe as I grew older my paternal outlook (or need to populate the world with another crazy artist) may have changed.

What about all of you -- moms and dads? If you had never met your spouse would you have gone solo?



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