Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Baby Proofing Intimidates My Dad Skills, and Design Sense


I think I need to go back to college or at least some handyman vocational school to baby-proof my house. My daughter has been “cruising” all over the place recently like some wall monkey. One second she’s babbling near my leg leg, the next she’s opening the knife drawer. We bought these stylish inconspicuous cupboard magnets called “Tot-Lok” to install on all the drawers (these puppies don’t come cheap either!) - I didn’t want ugly plastic things hanging around kitchen – these things are hidden and give the impression that we haven’t given into the bad-ugly baby stuff. Very important to me as a designer; because we know people (good people too) who have “given in” to the Fisher-Price’s home furnishing department…and quite frankly, I don’t want to go there.

My wife bought this stuff 3 weeks ago, and it’s still sitting on the counter. In a bag, with one package opened and half torn ripped, crumbled instructions. Have you seen these instructions? Take a look. I’ve read them 8 times and still don’t understand the paper-strip installation guide, let alone drilling 3/16 within some drill depth gauge, plunger (?)... What the heck?
Let me explain my "dad-skills" – I’ve installed ceiling fans, crown molding, surround sound with “millions and millions” of wires, toilet flow flush valve thing-a-ma-jig, freakin’ router with Wi-Fi security access (and that wasn’t easy!), but I can’t install a baby lock!! What’s wrong with this world?!
I called their specialist and he recommended hiring a professional installer. My response…

Me: You’re kidding me right…For baby locks?
“The Specialist”: Sir, just read the instructions, it's not hard.
Me: What? Now we’re married!?

(I didn't actually say the last part)

Right now we have rubber bands around the cupboard knobs. I think we used rope for entertainment cabinet. I won’t give in to Fisher-Price or plastic ugly things...at least not until I figure out what the professional installers charge per hour…

7 comments:

Pickle's Papa said...

. . . cuz rubber bands are better than the fisher price?

I lucked out and bought a house that didn't have handles on any of the cupboards. So instead of baby-proofing I walk around with a steak knife in my back pocket to wedge/lever all the cabinets open.

radioactive girl said...

We have these. If/when you do install them, be careful! At our old house, my husband accidentally drilled all the way through the cabinet door and we had to patch it. Because nothing says classy like a huge hole in the cabinet door. And it looked so much better than the easy to install ugly cabinet locks I refused to put on our cabinets. Once they are in though, they are excellent! Lots of fun at a party too...just find a childless friend, lock the cabinet and don't tell them. See what fun comes about when they can not figure out why they can't open the cabinet! Or, if that is immature, I swear we never did that at all.

Wendy said...

There couldn't be two more unhandy people than my husband or me - when we looked at the house we are in now, we saw the whole kitchen was already babyproofed and almost tripped over each other to say "I'll take it!" Good luck..i feel your pain

creative-Type Dad (Tony) said...

wendy- It's nice to know our house might go up in value, you know, being "pre-babyproofed"... similar to a bathroom remodel or room addition.

radioactive girl - that's a great idea! I've have to try that when a childless friend has been drinking; maybe record it, upload it on YouTube, or sell it to some Japanese TV show.

Pickle's Papa - actually I found duct tape works better than the rubber bands now. Daughter "Lady-MacGyver" figured out the rubber bands already...

dennis said...

Rubber bands?? Dude for like $2 you can go to the local hardware store and by like 1000 plastic ties.

With them and wire cutters, you can lock anything you want and still have the 'access' you need.

By the time baby figures out how to open things, she probably will also be working on the transmission of the family auto..

creative-Type Dad (Tony) said...

dennis- wire cutters? plastic ties? sounds more like building a boat off an island...

Angel Baby said...

Our baby proofing stuff sat on the counter for a couple months too... finally my dad came and installed it.

I've seen advertisements for professional baby proofing help... maybe they have those in your area. I would definitely hire someone to get it done properly- to protect your girl *and* your cabinets!