Thursday, July 27, 2006

Frustrating Assembly of Children’s Toy’s


People who write instructions for plastic “Some Parent Assembly required” ride-on or whatever toys are evil. As a Dad (designer, man, guy, human) I have this innate ability not to read directions when going somewhere in an area I’m mostly familiar with ...arrive safely, and in good time. I can open a box of pretty much anything that needs assembly, minimally read the instructions (glance) and pretty much figure it out. I have learned this great skill from years and years of learning through experiences from my own father, my father’s father, and his father, and great-great grandfather good ol’ Benny Franklin (no we’re not related…I think).

But nothing can be more frustrating than assembling freakin’ plastic toys. They don’t have pictures (big mistake), the parts never fit right, and when I was recently assembling my daughter’s new Radio Flyer bouncy Pony (BTW- I didn’t buy it…I was ready to send it back to plastic ugly hell, but my wife insisted we keep it because it’s from her sister’s) I had to break out the heavy-duty hammer and the power tools bag because nothing fit right. And let me just say - When the power tools bag comes out from it’s resting place among the mountain, then you know you’ve made the gods angry.

I eventually got the thing together, an hour later, with some minor modifications - to make it “work”. In fact, I think it works better than originally intended. Too bad the thing is ugly and my daughter lost interest in it after 2 rides. Argh!

5 comments:

radioactive girl said...

I hope your wife's sister doesn't read this! My husband put together my kids beds and had to make the same sort of modifications. I believe lots of hammering and swearing was involoved. When he was done, there were leftover parts, which never seems like a good idea to me. I made him jump around on their beds to make sure they wouldn't colapse when they got on! They seem fine so far...

MetroDad said...

I share your pain, man. I spent 3 hours trying to put together the kid's toy tricycle. TOY tricycle. The instructions were apparently translated from French to English by someone who only speaks Chinese. Fucking killed me!

And, of course, the kid has almost no interest in the darn thing.

dennis said...

You know you are f-ing screwed when putting together a child's toy makes you long for the days when simple tasks involved cursing the mechanics in detroit while replacing that transmission on the family minivan...

But IF kids toys and power tools are used in the same breath at our house, even the wife imp runs for the hills!!

jan said...

Assembling toys may be the way developing countries seek revenge.

junebee said...

The problem is the directions are translated from the Korean to English via Chinese. Then, to top it off you need to weed through the French, Spanish and German to find the English.

I've become much handier (unlike my husband, the Citizen) with the arrival of the Branch and Blossom and their accompanying required toys and furniture. But since they are <2, I know the challenges are yet to come.