Friday, January 05, 2007
If Animals Can Use Toilets, Why Not My 18-Month Old?
O.K. so the wife and I are going to start the challenge into this vast unknown world scientifically called “crap in the john and wipe your own butt”. Our daughter is closing in on 18-months in a few days and we’re desperate end the diaper thing – not only are they harmful to landfills (I think they kill rats, pigeons, possums choke on the Velcro or the character's images, whatever), but the contents are looking too much like horse poop (maybe somebody else is feeding her on the side, I don’t know) this diaper things needs to end now.
We’ve been asking fellow parents we trust, you know, the ones where their kids seem to be doing fine - mastering the skill and all - and I’ve been skimming the blogs for advice on potty training the last few days. The wife and I have gotten books but they seem to be all over the place, and I question a 65-year old pediatrician whose own kids are in there 40’s – I don’t know about you all but I think that’s a little out of touch with today. My wife and I really don’t read those parenting magazines anymore because they’re all mostly written by freaks who think that a kid showing up to kindergarten in Pull-Up isn’t a 'bad thing' as long as the kid feels “loved” (I’m generalizing, yes).
I want real advice from real parents, so I’m asking for your Jedi secrets, tips, hints, bribe methods, voodoo, tools (tin buckets, Big Gulp cups, plastic thrones with candy dispensers…) etc. I’m open to anything except the ‘letting the kid tell you when she’s ready’ method, because frankly there’s something really bizarre about that to me.
We had a party a year ago and some friends’ 4-year old kid went under a table (she announced to us all that she needed to poop) stunk up the room (pretty much ended the eating thing), and then demanded her dad change her Pull-Up and then asked for ice cream (which she got). Then our 'friends' (who we don't see hardly anymore...) told everybody that she wasn't ready yet to use the toilet (hmmm, I wonder why?) God, I don’t want that to ever happen…