Friday, August 18, 2006
I came across an article in the L.A. Times about new men’s salons popping up around town. It had me thinking--
Back in the day, years ago, I use to frequent places like Fantastic Sam’s and Supercuts, but then I had just about enough of their mistreatment and finally left them forever. Those places really suck at men’s haircuts because they’re really quick to pull out the chainsaw razor and chop your hair off in 2 minutes or less like your going off to war in 10. They never listen to what you want (because your a guy and it doesn't matter) and do there own thing. I hated it and I always walked out feeling like a stupid looking dog walking out of a groomer, minus the bows.
How did this happen? Do guys not count anymore?
When I was a kid, my Dad use to take my brother and I to a real barbershop on the bad side of town (it had the barber pole and everything). That place rocked! It was run by an older couple and the guy looked just like Abe Lincoln (he was always in the presidents day parade at Disneyland –not sure if they still do that?) and he would always take a least a half-an-hour on you even if all he did was talk (chit-chat about school, friends, TV, complained about the government, etc.) the way real barbers should. It was great – you were actually a real person and if you wanted to have a haircut like “the Ricker's”, or “Michael Knight’s man-fro” or somebody else - you could always count on Abe to do it (even if it wasn't exactly close).
It all ended when I was in High School, “Abe the Barber” died, it was depressing. His wife closed the shop and I was forced into Supercuts hell. I hated haircuts for the next 10 years.
Later, I became good friends with a gal who happened to cut hair, but at a “salon”. My wife and I love her, although I’m still not all entirely comfortable in a “salon”. Ya' know with women getting eyebrows done, pedicures, cheesy-techno playing in the background or 80’s light-hits like Peter Cetera playing overhead. I always feel like I’ve just put on a dress sitting there. It’s not bad, but just seems unnatural for a guy to be in such a place. But it’s a whole lot better than Nazi-cuts.
So I come across this – looks like some smart people have finally figured out guys do count and are finally getting places of their own. They’re sports themed for now (I’m not a sports-guy) but they do things like serve beer – how cool is that? Anyhow, if I were to open my own place it would be themed to more of a “The Rat Pack”-feel or something like that and it would be in a basement (like a speakeasy) with no windows in the front and serve cocktails like sidecars and whiskey-straight up (with waitresses in bunny outfits), and maybe have horseraces on the T.V.s’ with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin playing overhead. Oh yeah, and give good haircuts (that classic Cary Grant-handsome look) with old-school Barbers who do stuff like hot towel straight blade shaves while they sport slicked back hair and twirled mustaches themselves. A real man-man’s place. I’d go to a place like that any day.