Wednesday, April 12, 2006

AARP, Leave me alone. Part 2

My problem continues with AARP and their, what I would call harassing, invitations to join them. I wrote about this problem some time ago, but their letter campaign has recently gotten worse. I average about 2-3 letters a week, addressed to me. Just to be clear, I’m nowhere near my 50’s. I think the reason they have been so pushy the last few weeks is because my birthday was last week. Anyhow I just about had it so I called them yesterday to put an end to it. It went something like this (When a “real” person finally answered):

Ethel: (Name changed to protect Ethel’s identity) AARP, May I help you?
Me: (Guy in early 30's) Yes, I’m having a problem receiving invitations from you. Can you please take me off your mailing list?
Ethel: Are you a member?
Me: No, I’m not. I’m about 2 generations away.
Ethel: You can still join. We have junior memberships for those who want to help the cause…
Me: “Cause”, I didn’t realize this was “the resistance”.
Ethel: (Continues without hearing)…for senior issues like free prescription drugs.
Me: Why, so they can have more money to gamble in casinos or play bingo?
Ethel: What was that?
Me: Never mind, can you please take me off your mailing list?
Ethel: What’s your membership number?
Me: I don’t have one; I’m not a member…I just want to get off your mailing list.
Ethel: You have a membership number on your letter, just above your name…
Me: My God, I’m already recruited!! But I’m only 30-something, not 50-something…
Ethel: (Sinister deep evil voice, with an echo) You’ve been chosen to join the resistance, regardless of your choosing, so we can lobby the government for free prescription drugs, comp rooms in Las Vegas, and ‘buy one get one free’ coupons for Hometown Buffet…Hee-Hee. Ha! Ha!....

No she didn’t actually say that last line. But in my mind that’s what I heard when she tried to convince me to join. I did get off the list, eventually.
If you or anybody you know is getting these letters from AARP and wants them to stop. You can call Ethel at 1-888-OUR-AARP (1-888-687-2277). Tell her I said “hi”.

No comments: