10 Year Blogiversary!

Back in 2005, just 3 weeks after my daughter was born, I use to do what any sane new parent use to do late at night - wonder if what my wife and I were going through was “normal”. Seeking advice and insights from other parents, online, not just relying on our own family or the decades-old traditional parenting magazines and books from people that hadn’t had kids in their own households for generations. 

In that time, I found so many parents in the same boat and some just off the boat from everywhere around the world. 

I in turn started blogging about my own experiences eventually becoming part of the daddy/mommy blogging community. 

I never imagined that I would still be doing this 10 years later. So much has changed during that time: my oldest is now in 5th grade and youngest just started Kindergarten and I've been married for 16 years now. 

Most other parent bloggers have stopped blogging altogether or continue to blog but are now exclusively product review sites instead. (In their defense, I do product reviews on occasion too!)

Some have moved to Facebook which definitely (still) isn’t my thing; some are exclusively on Twitter, which I do often now @creativeTypeDad. 

I’m not entirely sure how much longer I’ll be doing this as my posting has become more infrequent over the last 2 years, not like the old days where I would post 2-3 times a week. But between work, spending time with my family, I continue to seek advice of other parents and do enjoy sharing some fun stories along the way. 

Who knows? I may be granddaddy blogging...but hopefully not until my kids are at least 28 and married. 

Some favorite posts of mine over the years:

• If My Daughter Ever Becomes A Vegetarian 
• The Elvis Impersonator Was Late to My Daugher's 1st Birthday Party 
• An Open Letter to the Wife Regarding Father's Day
• I'm Preparing for my Daughter's Kindergarten Interview
• How NOT to get rid of Monsters...
• Potty Training Coloring Pages
• I Think They May Take Away My Man Card
• Easter Bunny Must Be Living Large In Beverly Hills
• Get Me a Beer...
• What to REALLY Expect When You're Expecting
• Where Imaginary Friends Go To Die
• Monopoly: Destroying Family's Since 1933
• The Problem with Cookie Monster
• A Letter From the Tooth Fairy
• The Elvis Impersonator At My SON's 1st Birthday Party 
• MISSING: 2 Imaginary Friends and Lionel Richie (*this image went viral and was even featured on TV news around the world!)
• Are You There God? It's Me Tony

Lionel Richie REALLY Likes Me (So Much That He’s Using The Artwork I Created To Sell Merchandise)

There I was, like any other good husband who had just taken his wife to see Lionel Richie at the Hollywood Bowl. Walking down the corridor alongside a massive crowd of millions just after the show ended, humming to the tune “brick house” still stuck in my head. Then I see this:

Hello? The linework. The “Hello” Quote. The emphais of the signature moustache from 80’s Lionel. This is the artwork I did back in 2008 ago for a pumpkin stencil and posted here and the one that caused an internet sensation to billions around the world! 

Lionel Richie is now selling it at his concerts? 

Dude. Lionel. Seriously. Whoever took the artwork scaled it up badly and did a horrible reproducing it. Lionel, I would have happily sent you the original vector illustrator file and you could have wrapped the entire Hollywood Bowl with it. All I would have asked in return is a signed picture for my wife and maybe a trucker hat.

FREE Minecraft Valentines!

I recently had a ‘proud dad’ moment when my daughter recently asked if I could make some Minecraft Valentines for some kids at her school. 

We’ve been playing the Minecraft Pocket Edition on our iPads the past few months now and she just loves it. 

And I can’t get enough of it either - it’s strangely addicting.

Here they are to share with friends this Valentine’s Day. And in a true CTD fashion, there’s one with a little Lionel Richie nod…

 

(click to print)

Martha Stewart: American Made. Just Like a Texas Truck built in Mexico

America is pretty innovated.

We’ve created such life-changing inventions here like iPhones, Airplanes, Jazz Music, Chicken in a Bucket, Prozac, The Internet, and Lionel Richie. 

It’s all pretty amazing when you think about it. And if you take a Prozac you can really sit back and think about it some more. 

So imagine my excitement when I find out Martha Stewart is encouraging new inventive creators by running a contest honoring those entrepreneurs who are making just plain cool products?

Then I discovered that one of my favorite designers-turned-mom, turned-mom-designer makes it into the top 100 finalists out of thousands of applicants with her super swanky, Eco-friendly mobiles and wall art.

Can you vote for her to win this (please?)
http://americanmade.marthastewart.com/profiles/diana-jess-643
You can vote once per day through Sept 24th.

Her shop of Modern Modular wall art, bunnies, robots, kittens, and robot kitten bunnies…
http://www.etsy.com/shop/daswooddesign?ref=seller_info

 

Maybe one of these days she'll make a Lionel Richie mustache one or a bucket with floating chicken pieces - both perfect for any nursery or home office.

Something Special for Mother's Day

Apparently my original plan of flowers, some crafty coloring pages made by the kids, and brunch at the local KFC followed by a trip to see "The Avengers" isn't going to cut it.

My wife has been dropping not-so-subtle hints over the last few weeks talking a lot about my iPad and how she "needs" one. And how much easier it would be to not have to turn on a laptop to search on important topics like "what's Lionel Richie up to on Twitter."
 
She even forwarded me a marketing email from Apple last week saying something like, "Forward this to your husband so he knows you want an iPad for Mother's Day" with a picture of a mother and daughter hugging and laughing.

I personally think they're happy because they just went to see "The Avengers" and had a meal at KFC.

Oh well...

As for the card, I'm going with the classic I made a few years ago--

Happy Mother's Day!

A Golden Valentine’s Day

I just read that the average person will spend $126.03 celebrating Valentines this year. That’s a whole lot of chocolate, flowers, and dinners.

In the past, I’ve usually made some type of printable to help bring that cost down to nearly zero. I’ve made Valentine’s Day Coupons, Lionel Richie Coloring pages, classroom Valentine’s, even Valentine’s for the workspace.
This year I came up with the perfect idea for Valentine’s after I found out some amazing history of a writer I work with after getting a LinkedIn invitation – she use to work on one of my favorite sitcoms of all time, “The Golden Girl’s”.

Oddly enough, I worked on one of her favorite shows on all time during my last year of college, “Home Improvement.” But of course her stories are much more interesting. We didn’t have a staff masseuse or Betty White, or Bea Arthur, or Rue McClanahan, or Estelle Getty.

Anyways…what was my point? Oh yeah, my perfect idea was “The Golden Girl’s” Valentines since I’ve always referenced them over the years.

But then I saw these:


This (brilliant) guy already beat me to them! Something that struck me as odd about this guy, he plays the accordion too just like me.

(Insert Twilight zone music and Dorothy’s “Oh c’mon” line)

But… does he play Depeche Mode on it like I do?

Original Science Fair Project Ideas That Will Change the WORLD

My daughter’s school science fair is coming up soon. In fact, she just told my wife and I tonight that it’s happening next week.

After a robust and at times heated discussion about exactly how long has she known this information, my daughter and wife started listing a bunch of possible project ideas around simple scientific topics such as butterflies, volcano’s, mold, bugs, heat, cold, etc. to which I answered to all of them – boring.

Kids have been using those science fair topics for thousands of years ever since that one episode of “The Brady Bunch” where Bobby made that volcano explode in the backyard.

Oh Bobby.

I think my daughter should choose a topic with real groundbreaking information that will change the course of humankind and the world, forever. Something of real value and not something dull like the stages of an egg or the growing of mushrooms. As long as it ends up in an omelet nobody really cares.

Some innovative ideas of value:

What is the effect of Lionel Richie’s Mustache on Women?
Hypothesis – Scientists and mathematicians have been trying to figure this out for years – is the mustache the secret to Lionel's success and the ladies affection just as it is for Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds? Enquiring minds want to know.

Experiment – Make Lionel shave and then sing “Hello.”

Early Conclusion – I’ve just given this topic a little more thought and think I’ve figured out the answer: The blind woman that sculpted his head in clay INCLUDED the mustache.

Answer: Huge affect

How many licks to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
Hypothesis – Was Mr. Owl right?

Experiment – Make a run to the nearest 7-11 and test it out.

Conclusion (hindered) – Find somebody that actually likes Tootsie Pops or maybe substitute with something better like Chewy Sprees or Popcorn Chicken from KFC.

Why do you have to be so delicious?

Does a visit to Chuck E. Cheese affect a Child’s probability to become a compulsive gambler later in life?
Hypothesis – Children walk around Chuck’s with coin-filled cups mesmerized by flashing lights, high-pitched sounding machines dropping hundreds of coins into them, losing all sense of time, while given access to all-you-can drink fountain beverages, horrible food and awful musical entertainment. Is Chuck’s really a training ground for slot hogs?

Experiment – Reconnaissance work:

Carpets that smell like cigarettes, vomit, tears, and urine

Entertainment: Chuck’s Band

Celine Dion

Conclusion – Yes

28th Annual FREE Halloween Pumpkin Stencils

I really haven’t been creating these stencils that long, it just sounds much more dramatic.

This year was another tough one, trying to come up with some ideas that outshine my Lionel Richie and Colonel Sanders pumpkin stencils from past years.
In fact, this year I am making the KFC one again just because I FINALLY got a Colonel Harland Sanders costume after years of searching. And that’s not even the best part – my job paid for the costume, as I needed something impressive for a PR event.
The only thing that can outshine that is getting free popcorn chicken.

And if my wife let me dress our 18-month old son in a chicken costume.

Most of my designs this year come from reader requests and one from my daughter of her now favorite movie of all-time, “Xanadu”, a 1980 romantic musical fantasy roller-skating disco film with Olivia Newton John. Obviously her mother had NOTHING to do with that.

This year’s free pumpkin stencils (click to download):

Spiderman

Kira from Xanadu

Apple


Snow White and Apple


Transformers

Past year stencils are linked here: Lionel Richie, KFC Colonel Sanders, Peanuts/Linus and the Great Pumpkin, Princess and the Frog, Evil Queen, Fairy, Ninja, Star Wars: Chewbacca, Gary Coleman, Jack Skellington.

Use Disclaimer: I just ask that these be used non-commercially, and not used for T-shirts, sold items, as in Zazzle or Etsy type-places (seeing my fan art for sale on items without my knowledge or permission REALLY SUCKS.)
Please DO NOT reposted the art anywhere else. You may link to them on Facebook and such or print them out for personal use only.

The Elvis Impersonator at My Son’s 1st Birthday Party

About 5 year’s ago, I wondered if my crazy vision of the ultimate 1st birthday party went a little too far when I hired an Elvis impersonator for my daughter’s 1st birthday party.
When I initially mentioned it to my wife she thought I went completely crazy – something I found ironic since she’s a huge Lionel Richie fan.

Nevertheless to my, and her, amazement Elvis was a huge success. Not only did the parents have fun, but the kids found him extremely entertaining too. They danced around, sang, and were all doing those weird Kung-Fu poses along with him.

It was pretty spectacular.

When the show was over and the guests were leaving, I distinctly remember telling myself, smiling proudly with my arms crossed, “Tony, you done good. Real good. Elvis is MUCH better than a clown, magician, or Bruce Lee impersonator any day.”

Fast forward to about a month ago when my wife asked me if I was going to call the same Elvis impersonator for our son’s 1st birthday party. I wondered – is this now a family tradition that every child from this time forward, generations ahead, should have Elvis at their 1st birthday?

I should hope so.

Last weekend Elvis came, Kunged-Fu’d, and raised the hypothetical roof once again. It was all even more spectacular the second time around.
Then when the show was over and all the guests were leaving, I smiled proudly with my arms crossed and began to tell myself one more time, “Tony, you done good…” the wife interrupted with, “do you think they have Lionel Richie impersonators?”

I hope not. Because that’s COMPLETELY crazy!

"Don't worry little buddy, Daddy will make sure this is a Lionel Richie free zone..."

MISSING: My Daughter’s 2 Imaginary Friends!

A funny thing happened when my son was born 9 months ago - my daughter’s 2 longtime colorful imaginary friends, “Sauna and Nana” just sort of disappeared.

I’m actually a little sad about this discovery because I really enjoyed hearing their stories of globetrotting the world in an instant. Their superhuman abilities to stay up late every night and never get tired or cranky. Their super advanced skin that never required bathing and could still remain cleaner than a sink. Their mysterious ability to eat candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but still have spotless teeth and a thriving immune system.

I was even fond of their parents, Chuck and Doris (I swear she made those up on her own) but sadly never had a chance to meet because they worked for all sorts of famous people like, the Wiggles, the Doodlebops, Lionel Richie, and as of last year Justin Bieber.

When I inquired as to their whereabouts at dinner tonight my daughter said with confidence that the last time she saw them they were going to get candy in Paris but never came home.

Maybe they got lost in Ohio?

So I put together this MISSING IMAGINARY FRIENDS poster hoping we could find them:

"Missing Imaginary Friends Poster" (click to print)

And since we’re looking for Sauna and Nana, my daughter was hoping to find her MISSING UNICORN she lost last year at IKEA as well:

"Missing Unicorn Poster" (click to print)

And since we’re open to helping friends, I hear Lionel could use some help too:

Are you looking for Lionel Richie?
"Hello, Is it me you're looking for?" (click to print)

Valentine’s Day Coupons and a Coloring Page You Won’t Find Anywhere Else

It seems to me that Valentine’s gifts are getting stranger every passing year.

I just read today that Demi Moore and that kid I think she’s married to are currently offering some $700 and up gold handcuff necklaces this holiday.
And if that’s not weird enough for you, this place will wrap your car with a chocolate bar wrapper.

Not romantic enough? How about a teddy bear that smells like Halle Berry?

I’m not at all surprised at these new gift ideas because according to this the average shopper will spend upwards of $116.21 on Valentine’s stuff this year.

Wow, you can sure buy a whole lot of Justin Bieber Valentine’s song remixes with that kind of money.

But I’m not buying it and you shouldn’t be too, because that’s not the way the Mayans or Greeks celebrated Valentine’s Day hundreds of millions years ago. I’d like to lend a helping hand on ways to be creative, thoughtful, romantic, and save money... just like a $99 Groupon for a Brazilian Blowout (whatever in the world that is.)
So I’m offering these useful coupons that will make this Valentine’s Day special for you and your significant other.

FREE Valentine’s Day Coupon’s

(click to print)

• A Romantic Candle-Lit Dinner for Two at Wendy’s or Similar Fine French Dining Establishment
• Breakfast in Bed Catered by Lucky the Charmer
• Any Movie that Doesn’t Star Kevin Costner
• A Day With No Complaining
• A Sensual Back Massage on My Yacht in Fiji

And if those don’t work for you because you were a jerk or you gambled away the rent money last month, you can pull out the big guns with this “Lionel Richie and a bouquet of flowers” card.

(click to print)

Hello. Is it me you’re looking for?
Happy Valentine's Day

Maybe make it a family activity by having the kids color it in to make it even more special.
Just be sure they have plenty of gold crayons around for Lionel’s necklace.

Houses With “Out of Control” Halloween Decorations

There was a time not long ago when all you really needed to celebrate a traditional centuries-old Halloween, like the way many past European Kings and Asian Emperors did, was to simply leave a decent pumpkin on the porch while playing classic holiday music like Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” or Lionel Richie’s “Penny Lover.”

Those were the days when Halloween meant something. Things like “Peace on Earth” and “Girl, a love like yours is hard to resist.”

Not anymore.

Our neighborhood went downhill this year. The neighbor to the right of me spent 3 weeks building a graveyard and volcano in his yard and used his kids as non-union talent to scream at passing ‘trick or treaters.’ The poor kids didn’t even get to spend much time begging for candy themselves.
Not to be outdone, the other neighbor made a graveyard too but his with a whole series of pullies and levers, operated by his kids, moving all sort of things around with a theater grade smoke machine nearby and all sorts of theatrical lighting. Those kids didn’t get to go begging either.
The block down from us hung a large glowing spider web over their cul-de-sac and used several garage door openers, operated by their kids, as a motor system to make 3, 5-foot spiders (with glowing eyes) move up and down. Word around the neighborhood was that those kids didn’t go begging either.

The sad reality is, it’s the kids that suffer with this kind of nonsense.

I for one am not going to be partaking in any of it. My kids will be doing what kids have been doing for thousands of years since the inception of Halloween by the Great Pumpkin long ago: begging for candy so their parents can eat it. Period.

Annual Halloween Pumpkin Carving Ideas and Stencils!

My obsession with pumpkin carving started a few years ago when I created a masterpiece of a pumpkin featuring the one and only great American inventor of delicious fried chicken, Colonel Sanders. Every year I’ve tried to outdo myself but have never really come close.

Well, OK, maybe the Lionel Richie pumpkin last year came pretty close.

Below are the stencils I’ve created this year for all to enjoy. One is a request by my 5-year old daughter - can you guess which one?


(Click to download)

UFO in China (Run workers, run!)

Guitar Player Smashing a Guitar (In case you were wondering, he’s about to smash that pumpkin with his guitar.)

Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter (I read the very entertaining historical book over the summer and found it fitting for Halloween.)


Unicorn Pegasus (Add a double-rainbow for a truly magical experience.)

Prior years stencils can be found here and here.

These stencils are free to use, but please don’t redistribute. Also for those looking for a good carving kit, I completely recommend using a Pumpkin Masters set. Go pick one up from one of those dollar stores.

Happy Carving!

Last Minute Mother’s Day Ideas!

I asked my daughter what she wanted do for my wife this year for Mother’s Day and she immediately answered with:

“Go shopping to buy me an Ariel dress! And maybe mommy can get one too.”

We did something a little different this year; she’s been practicing her “Pegasus unicorn running into a rainbow” art for a few weeks, maybe months, now so I had one of the better ones put on a shirt from this place (poloppo.com)

It's pretty awesome. (What’s even more awesome is a discount code “dads25”.)
When we got it in the mail my daughter instantly requested one for herself and her friends at school as they've starting a Pegasus Unicorn Team now - it's an alternative to the Dragon Team the boys at school have started.

We’ve also been contemplating what else my daughter wants to make for Mother's Day. Maybe some cool and funny Mother’s Day themed snack from a recipe off this site (link), or one of these interesting cards (link.) I’m sure we’ll come up with something once I suspiciously tell my wife to go get a pedicure or go on a trip to the nearby KFC on Saturday so we can make anything.

We'll see...

But for those looking for a last-minute idea on what to get your wife or mom on Sunday AND really impress her, there’s always my famous flower bunch toting Lionel Richie printable with complementary Lionel Richie paper craft sculpture:

"You're once, Twice, Three Times A Lady. Happy Mother's Day!"

Lionel Richie Paper craft toy

Because really, nothing says Happy Mother’s Day quite like “You’re Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady” from Lionel.

Weird questions? I’ve Got Answers

Some of the searches that end up here are getting stranger by the day.
Most of them are in the form of questions looking for help or expert advice. I find it odd that they end up here since the closest thing I have to a Ph.D is a DVD or BVD’s.

However, these people are looking for answers so I’m going to respond to them. Why? Because that’s just how I roll.

The Questions:
what is lionel richie doing this year for thanksgiving? – Let me ask. Spending it at Dollywood.
ideas for writing birthday invitations for a party at chuck e cheese – Start with “I’m so sorry but, this wasn’t my idea…”
why does my dad stay up late – To play Words with Friends on the iPhone. But not with Sci Fi Dad (because he cheats....!!)
why do we have butt cracks – Because they’re funny
do midgets have small poop – Let me check. Yes.
where can i get a monkey to perform at my daughters birthday party? -- In Thailand or Lancaster.
i drank my wife's breast milk yesterday – Hopefully because you ran out of regular milk and not because you like it and are just really weird.
my son doesn't have a date for prom? Put an ad on Craigslist
creative way to tell husband that you are expecting -- Don’t start it by saying “remember that business trip …”
when does a baby mullet grow? – At 5 months, start playing Michael Bolton songs. At 6 months start showing Macgyver reruns or visit Georgia.
wierdest thing about lionel ritchie -- If his mustache is ever removed, he loses all magical powers.
what is it called if you have an obsession with poop – Poopalicious.
my five year old who refuses to go to the potty! -- Take him/her back to the store for a refund.
i called poison control 4 times in one week what's going to happen to me – Protective services should be arriving at your door any minute.
why do little kids pick their noses – The same reason why old people do, because they're bored and have nothing to play with.

You Can’t Have a Boyfriend in Preschool

I knew something was strange when I picked up my daughter from school and as she was giggling hysterically. When I smiled and asked what was so funny - thinking I would get an answer like some silly picture she drew or maybe some game she had been playing - I didn’t expect to hear this:

Daughter: “Guess who I’m thinking of?”

Who? Ariel? Mommy? Daddy? …Lionel Richie?

Daughter: “MARCUS” (followed by her giggles and those of 3 friends)

“Marcus?” And they were all looking at the new boy in the corner of the room playing with Thomas trains COMPLETELY unaware of the groupies not far away.

Daughter: “He can BREAKDANCE!”

Friend #1: “Yeah! And we all like him like the way Gabrielle likes Troy!” (group giggles)

Whatchu-talkin’bout?!

Does anybody know of a cave I can live in with my family for about 18 years or so? Preferably one with no TV and no other preschoolers with parents that allowed them to watch High School Musical, iCarly, Hannah Montana, The Hills and maybe Twilight.

I just can't get over how kids this young watch these shows. They're watching things they don't understand and shouldn't be exposed to for at least another 25-30 years.

On the drive home my daughter and I had a long conversation about boys and how they should be considered yucky at her age, and about giving me a heart-attack before I turn 40; About having friends, staying a kid, and about how she isn’t allowed to date until she’s married.
You know, typical conversation material one usually has with a 4-year old.

I think she understood. But to be sure, I made her a coloring page just to reiterate my message:

"You can't date until you're married" coloring page

Once she's colored it, I'm hanging it on her cubby at school just as a reminder.

More CREATIVE and FREE Pumpkin Stencils!

It's pumpkin carving season and what would Halloween by without a Lionel Richie, Colonel Sanders, or Gary Coleman Jack-O-Lantern? Pretty boring.

This year was a tough one for my annual stencil making. My daughter was requesting a Princess and the Frog stencil - thanks to the commercials and billboards all around town for the upcoming movie. Oddly enough they don't make any pumpkin stencils for the new Princess so I created one for her.

An oldie I've always wanted to try was Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin. Now after creating it, I don't know if it'll live up to the neighbors expectations. They really liked the Lionel pumpkin last year and the Colonel Sanders one the year before that.
I have considered making the Colonel one again and improving upon it by putting real KFC fried chicken in it.
I'm still thinking about that one. It may be something I put together for a Halloween party.

Or I may just carve up the Balloon Boy. Although now looking at it, I may have to add his Dad getting arrested while he floats away...

Here are this year's stencils (click to download)

"Balloon Boy" Pumpkin Stencil

"Linus and the Great Pumpkin" Pumpkin Stencil

"Princess and the Frog" Pumpkin Stencil

"Evil Queen" Pumpkin Stencil

Prior year's Pumpkin Stencils can be found here:
Jack Skellington, Lionel Richie, Gary Coleman, Colonel Sanders, Chewbacca, Mud Flap Truck Girl, Fairy, Ninja, Doodlebop.

A big thanks to all of those who have emailed me directly with pictures of their pumpkins using my stencils. Even though I can't respond to all emails, I do appreciate you taking the time do to so and really enjoy seeing the pictures.