Tuesday, February 02, 2010

You Can’t Have a Boyfriend in Preschool

I knew something was strange when I picked up my daughter from school and as she was giggling hysterically. When I smiled and asked what was so funny - thinking I would get an answer like some silly picture she drew or maybe some game she had been playing - I didn’t expect to hear this:

Daughter: “Guess who I’m thinking of?”

Who? Ariel? Mommy? Daddy? …Lionel Richie?

Daughter: “MARCUS” (followed by her giggles and those of 3 friends)

“Marcus?” And they were all looking at the new boy in the corner of the room playing with Thomas trains COMPLETELY unaware of the groupies not far away.

Daughter: “He can BREAKDANCE!”

Friend #1: “Yeah! And we all like him like the way Gabrielle likes Troy!” (group giggles)


Does anybody know of a cave I can live in with my family for about 18 years or so? Preferably one with no TV and no other preschoolers with parents that allowed them to watch High School Musical, iCarly, Hannah Montana, The Hills and maybe Twilight.

I just can't get over how kids this young watch these shows. They're watching things they don't understand and shouldn't be exposed to for at least another 25-30 years.

On the drive home my daughter and I had a long conversation about boys and how they should be considered yucky at her age, and about giving me a heart-attack before I turn 40; About having friends, staying a kid, and about how she isn’t allowed to date until she’s married.
You know, typical conversation material one usually has with a 4-year old.

I think she understood. But to be sure, I made her a coloring page just to reiterate my message:

"You can't date until you're married" coloring page

Once she's colored it, I'm hanging it on her cubby at school just as a reminder.


Matt Brown said...

That's weird because when my son says he's got a girlfriend at pre-school I think, "way to go my son"

PippaD said...

Top Ender had to tell a boy in her class that she just wanted to be friends when he kept trying to kiss her...

Seconding the no dating until married idea!

ericdbolton said...

I plan on starting a militia the older my three daughters get. To fight all the boys that come a calling.

SciFi Dad said...

Who the hell are Gabrielle and Troy, and why does Lionel Richie let THEM date?

T with Honey said...

Here's how I tackled this one. When the Princess was 3 and the girls started picking out 'boyfriends' I told her she was too young to have a boyfriend. We talked about how old you have to be to get married and she agreed that it didn't make sense to have a boyfriend now and try to stay together for the next 15 years (at least!)

But she took it a step further. Princess doesn't have a boyfriend but is betrothed. All her idea too.

She plans on marrying one of the boys in her class when she grows up. And this boy agrees with this plan. No need for boyfriends, no dating just a simple old fashioned arranged marriage.

And it gets better.
Squirt and my future SIL's little sister are only 2 months apart. Princess and future SIL agree that THEY should get married too. Good thing that we get along really well with his parents. Now we just have to adopt an older boy for their 7 year old girl to marry and we're all set!

Otter Thomas said...

If we ever have a daughter I am going to get military training right away. You can never be too careful.

Awesome Mom said...

My eldest son is one of the most popular boys when it comes to the girls of his class. His Para had to train the girls to ask if they could hug him before they went and just hugged him. Often in the morning as I am walking him to his class a girl will come and hold his hand. I find it hilarious and a bit disturbing too. He has no clue about it and I am planning on keeping it that way until he is 30 which is when he will be allowed to date, but only after I have carefully screened the girl.

My dad had four daughters and was a high school teacher so he hated teen aged males. I decided to skip dating until i was safely away at college. Even then he was rather hostile to one of the first boys I brought to the house (who incidentally I was not even dating or interested in in that way).

Scare your little girl and maybe she will become a nun.

Creative-Type Dad said...

Otter Thomas -- Agreed - military training or maybe Ninja training.

Eric -- 3 daughters!? Sorry man...

OM said...

If only Zac Efron weren't so goddamn dreamy!!!

(and just to let you know, I wrote a short paragraph and a half about the blog.)

Abba-Dad said...

My 5 year old is already with her second husband.

James (SeattleDad) said...

You poor man. I am glad I have a boy. A girl would be way to hard to deal with.

And Scifi - LOL, that does look like a midget Lionel Ritche.

DGB said...

It saddens me that I get the Gabrielle/Troy reference, yet my daughter is barely watching TV.

Creative-Type Dad said...

James (SeattleDad) -- Yes, that is Lionel Richie.

Abba-Dad -- I can just imagine her alimony checks by age 7.

OM -- Yes! I saw that. And no, blogging still hasn't helped me understand more. It's all still a mystery.

Unknown said...

I want a whole series with Lionel Ritchie. Totally tweeting this.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

The Lionel Ritchie minister makes ME want to wait to date.

painted maypole said...

my daughter told me she liked a boy the other day, and I nearly had a heart attack. and she's ancient compared to your daughter! (mine is in second grade). I took a few deep breaths and asked why she liked him. "Because he has a club penguin membership." Just call her a material girl.

Dad Stuff said...

When I hear talk of boyfriends from my second grader it feels like I'm getting kicked in the stomach. Daddy is supposed to be her boyfriend, right?

CRUSTY MOM-E said...

Ha!! AWESOME POST!! I just told my boys last night that they are not allowed to get married until the following:
1) at least 4years of college
2) time to travel to at least one foreign place (cancun does not count)
3) fun single life.

because, if they marry before 25, they will be removed from the will. and that's exactly what I told my 8 and 5 year old.

Perhaps you can make a book like that for my boys? something all clone wars like and perhaps something like "the force will leave you if you marry too soon." "stay true to your path, young jedi, marriage and girls are for the 30 year olds..cuz they are really old."

lol. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm grounding my kid when this happens. Also... I'm kicking her boyfriends ass... I don't care if he's four.

Okay... maybe his dad...

ArtistUnplugged said...

It freaks you out!!!! My son insisted on giving the little girl he admired in his 4 yr. old class, a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day.....you better do something to fend off any V-Day event!!! If you get by my site, you should read the previous post on my 16 year old daughter's FIRST DATE!!!!!! Enjoy the pre-school years.....at least they don't drive!

Creative-Type Dad said...

ArtistUnplugged -- Don't take this the wrong way, but keep your son away from my daughter!

CRUSTYBEEF -- That's an easy one, everybody know's Jedi's can't get married.

painted maypole -- Is that all it takes - a CP membership? You need to sit down with that daughter of yours, fast.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah -- The only thing Lionel Richie makes me want to do is grow a mustache.

QueenofSpades83 said...

LMAO.. Ok I am a 26 year old mother of a 5 year old little boy. I have had the same circumstances happening at my home. My son HAS a girlfriend. I do not like it, and the fact that he has one is not the worst part.

This little girl uses my son. My son has a hero complex. He does not like to see anyone in trouble. Everytime we go to the park he feels the need to watch over the girls. He will not let the bigger kids go down the slides until all of the girls have had a turn. In one instance a little girl sat at the top of the slide. A bigger child walked up behind her, and she began screaming for my son. He walked up to the bigger boy and told him "get away its her turn"!

UNREAL... so now this little girl at preschool realizes this.. so she will play with toys and should another little child pick up the toy she wants .. She INSTANTLY runs to my son and tells him in a teary voice they hurt her feelings.. UGHHHH.. he has gotten in trouble 3 times for fighting boys whom have upset her..

I'm ready to change schools.. but I have a feeling this is going to happen at every school :( HELP!!!

Mici | Click On Portal said...

LOL classic. Reminds me of the Butterfly kisses song, the dad not wanting her girl to grow up too fast.

But 4 year old is DEFINITELY too young for a boyfriend, and you should go down there and have a man to man talk with this very clueless boy (0_0) of how he should stay away from your daughter!

"I'm glad we have an understanding".

Just a thought. :P