Sunday, August 23, 2009

Questionable Common Sense Advice

Not sure when exactly this happened but my daughter has suddenly gotten into giving advice.

Not only advice but also suggestions, guidance, and pretty unusual bits of information too. She’s been dishing it out to neighbors, babysitters, strangers, kids, adults, animals, manimals, and just about anything that listens.

In fact, when she saw me writing this she told me I needed more “T’s”.
Apparently it was lacking.

Some recent random bits:
  • Don’t eat a hamburger outside. A bird could poop on it.
  • Octopuses have lots of testicles, that’s why they’re so mad.
  • At a museum it’s OK to touch your own art, but not anybody else’s.
  • Never ever tell a cat he’s ugly.
  • Lionel Richie eats at Souplantation, but only on Thursday.
  • You can call Elvis “Chad” at any time.
  • If you practice everyday, you can sing underwater.
  • When you burp make sure a Tiger is not around.
  • Everybody should have one pink dress.
  • Crabs have families too; they just don’t draw pictures for each other.
  • You need to be 125 to drive a car. You need to be 5 to get married.
  • Don’t EVER shake a crocodiles’ hand.
  • I don’t even know anybody that has a Kindle. Maybe a Monkey?
Now I'm having doubts about eating outside tomorrow as I'm taking a hamburger for lunch...

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

4th Blogiversary!

I can’t believe it’s been 4 years since I’ve started this blog. How different the world was back then with a 3 week old baby girl possessing the feeling of both excitement and anxiety of the unknown new world of parenthood.

This blogging of mine began late at night when our house felt more like a 24 diner with one demanding customer. Late night feedings quickly shifted from bad late-night TV to the Internet searching for other parents looking for tidbits of advice and insight (some still blog and are on the links to the right.) Then that slowly turned into my own writings about my own experiences and sometimes more than often random thoughts.

Over the years I’ve contemplated stopping for lack of time or sometimes significance, but then realized that these posts, no matter how random, personal, or infrequent document something that could be of interest to my daughter sometime in the future.

Or her future therapist, depending on who you’re talking to.

Highlights Over The Years:

If My Daughter Becomes a Vegetarian

The Elvis Impersonator Was Late to My Daughter’s 1st Birthday Party

KFC changes their chicken - My letter to Colonel Sanders

My kid saw me pee

Men are from Mars, In-Laws are from Uranus (and they watch Football)

Birthday party: Chuck E Cheese is one ANGRY rat

Thank YOU for being a friend (with a Wii)

Parents that wait in line for hard-to-find Christmas gifts

Get me a beer, I'm feeling pretty manly after changin' the oil

It's NOT a facial - It's a MEN's facial!!

An open letter to the wife regarding fathers day

Mother's day coloring pages that you won't find anywhere else

The Easter bunny must be living large in beverly hills

I'm preparing for my daughter’s kindergarten interview

A message to toddlers: nose picking is very unpatriotic!

My daughter’s imaginary friend: an unauthorized biography

When 'time outs' don’t work

How to Catch an Imaginery Monster

Exterminator wanted! apparently my house is infested with monsters *Popular

Potty training coloring pages *Popular

Colonel sanders and santa claus must be brothers or just angels sent from heaven

Halloween night randomness! Pet parents, pimps, and...

HELP! I think they may take away my man card

Are you there God? It’s me Tony…what’s happening to me!?

Teaching Good Habits....with coloring pages

Annoying Cartoon Characters

How To Get a Princess to Behave