Thursday, February 03, 2011

Valentine’s Day Coupons and a Coloring Page You Won’t Find Anywhere Else

It seems to me that Valentine’s gifts are getting stranger every passing year.

I just read today that Demi Moore and that kid I think she’s married to are currently offering some $700 and up gold handcuff necklaces this holiday.
And if that’s not weird enough for you, this place will wrap your car with a chocolate bar wrapper.

Not romantic enough? How about a teddy bear that smells like Halle Berry?

I’m not at all surprised at these new gift ideas because according to this the average shopper will spend upwards of $116.21 on Valentine’s stuff this year.

Wow, you can sure buy a whole lot of Justin Bieber Valentine’s song remixes with that kind of money.

But I’m not buying it and you shouldn’t be too, because that’s not the way the Mayans or Greeks celebrated Valentine’s Day hundreds of millions years ago. I’d like to lend a helping hand on ways to be creative, thoughtful, romantic, and save money... just like a $99 Groupon for a Brazilian Blowout (whatever in the world that is.)
So I’m offering these useful coupons that will make this Valentine’s Day special for you and your significant other.

FREE Valentine’s Day Coupon’s

(click to print)

  • A Romantic Candle-Lit Dinner for Two at Wendy’s or Similar Fine French Dining Establishment
  • Breakfast in Bed Catered by Lucky the Charmer
  • Any Movie that Doesn’t Star Kevin Costner
  • A Day With No Complaining
  • A Sensual Back Massage on My Yacht in Fiji

And if those don’t work for you because you were a jerk or you gambled away the rent money last month, you can pull out the big guns with this “Lionel Richie and a bouquet of flowers” card.
(click to print)
Hello. Is it me you’re looking for?
Happy Valentine's Day

Maybe make it a family activity by having the kids color it in to make it even more special.
Just be sure they have plenty of gold crayons around for Lionel’s necklace.


painted maypole said...

ha ha. that would make my valentines day! :)

and I was equally curious about a brazillion blowout. of course all i could think about was a brazillian wax, and does the "blowout" come after that? but that seems illegal (except in Nevada), so I'm guessing it must be something else.

Scott said...

This is one of the funniest posts I've ever seen--on any blog! It's difficult to pick the funniest thing--but for me it's the clause..."when I have a yacht and can go to Fiji"!

Anonymous said...

Printing Lionel now... :)

ArtistUnplugged said...

Brazillian blowout??? Lionel, so amazing they named trains after him.

Susan said...

Oh great, now I've got that song stuck in my head!
Maybe I need a Brazillian blowout to clear my head.

Anonymous said...

Kevin Costner?? lol

Amy said...

I nearly spit out my coffee laughing at that Lionel page.

Duncan Monera said...

Oh my god! it's Lionel! haha yeah you are the one I am looking for. well you made my valentines day happy thanks:)xoxo

Tim said...

Very funny post! I can't stop laughting. But I will print those coupons, LOL!

James (SeattleDad) said...

Man, I should ditched to flowers and printed to Lionel for Mrs. LIAYF!.

Love it.

nonlineargirl said...

I saw this and thought you needed to see it: