Sketches of My Daughter

Since more than a few people have asked me, I’ve decided to post some ‘life’ ink sketches I’ve done of my daughter from my sketchbook. I’ve been drawing her since she was 3 days old (as an artist it’s really hard not to) She has the cutest cheeks, round chubby legs, rolls everywhere, arms with the dimples, etc. Sometimes it feels as if I’m sketching a baby ‘Stay-Puff’ marshmallow man. Now, at 14 months, those features are slowing going away.




I’m going to start these with somewhere in the beginning. When my daughter use to sleep 90% of the time. I would just stare at her…and draw, thinking about everything from my new life as a Dad to her future (one day possibly as an artist, or as a adult crayon eater).

Goldfish Tragedy At The Petco

Last night while performing the “feed the dog” ritual I discovered the dog was out of food. I knew this day was coming, I feed him everyday and see the food bin getting low, but I always forget until the day of. So like all other times, I rush down to Petco a few minutes before they close.
While standing in line with the other Dads and their bags of pet food, this one Dad and his little girl come walking in just before the doors are locked. The little girl is holding a zip-lock bag with an upside-down goldfish to the cashier:

“Cindy-Brady” 5 year old: Uh, Uh, my wittle goldfish ‘Princess Weetah’ …(whimper, whimper, whisper)….my waddy bought her westerday and she won’t wake wup.

Petco worker hippie-surfer guy: (to Dad) Do you want your $1.07 back…

Blonde “Mike Brady” Dad: Can we get another one?

Petco worker hippie-surfer guy: That’s cool. You could have flushed it down the toilet or thrown it in the trash and just brought the receipt. (Beavis and Butthead chuckle)

“Cindy-Brady” 5 year old: (gasped with horror and tears) Wha?! Wha?! Nooooooo!!

Dad covers little girls’ ears and then hugs her.

This Petco guy is on crack, I'm totally convinced. Everytime I go there his hand is in the reptile cage - that's why I know. Only people on crack do that kind of thing. As for the kid and her Dad, I was thinking -- would you really go through the trouble of scooping up and sticking $.99 dead goldfish in a zip-lock bag and taking it back? Probably not me.
I thought about how I would have approached this situation, because I’ll likely be in the same position one day. To me it’s a learning moment.
My approach: flush the dead fish before my daughter sees it and run to buy a new one. OR tell her the fish is taking a really long nap OR getting a suntan and the reason why the bowl is turning brown - because of all the suntan lotion.

5 Weird Things About Me

Thank Mel for this - she's the one who "tagged" me. Like if there are only "5" things weird about me. (She should no better…)

(Big Breath) Here we go:

1. I have a strange fascination with midgets or the politically correct term ‘little people’. Not to make fun of them, but I just think it would be cool to hang out with them (did you know some are in bands!) I may tell people I want to dress them up like Care Bears with 80’s hair band logo’s on their stomachs and go Trick or Treating with them; but I really wouldn’t do that. I just think they’re very interesting.

2. I still think David Hasselhoff is really cool ever since I was a kid. Knight Rider was my favorite show – the car, the “Knight Industries”, Bonnie. Maybe it’s the talking car or all the chicks he surrounded himself on Baywatch. Maybe it’s the chest hair. If I had chest hair like that, maybe I could be a movie star too. One could only dream.

3. I went to a Michael Bolton Concert once with “Special Guest” Kenny G. My ears bled the first hour (It was all for a woman of course – the things guys put up with…). Afterwards I didn’t think it was that bad because Michael Bolton had a K-Mart fan on stage so it could blow his mullet (long hair) back while he bent down to sing “I Thought I Loved You, But I Lied”. I thought that was a nice touch.

4. I had lunch with Debbie Gibson years ago. If I would have showed some “cleavage” maybe I would be Mr. Debbie Gibson now.

5. I absolutely HATE the Beatles. I had a roommate for years while in college who swore they could cure cancer or feed stray animals just by playing their music loud. I don’t care what people say; I think the Olsen Twins have more talent. Exception – Paul McCartney duets with Michael Jackson. I’m not sure why that is.

Bonus!

6. If I’m flipping through the cable channels and I come across “Saved By the Bell”, “Golden Girls”, “Full House”, I’ll stop and watch. I think Screech, Rose, and Kimmy Gibbler are all the same people just in different stages of life. It drives my wife crazy when she could be watching "real" shows like "Law and Order: SUV" (yes, I know I called it SUV and not SVU).

9/11 – Has It Really Been 5 Years?

This day always creeps me out every year since 2001. Maybe because I remember it so clearly just everything that happened that day in great detail – turning on the TV, my wife and I completely horrified, the freeways empty. Coming into work, TV’s brought out into the halls and turned on in the conference rooms. No planes flying in the sky. Everything outside seemed really quiet. I remember calling a close friend in New York since he worked down near Times Square and finally getting a hold of him – I can remember that conversation.

Today, the security is beefed up and everything is quiet. Nobody really says anything but you can tell they’re all thinking the same thing.
I saw that ‘controversial’ Path to 9/11 movie last night, although I know the thing was a docu-dram or dramatization, or whatever they’re calling it, but it still was frightening all the same.

I wonder if this day will ever loose its significance after a generation or two just like December 7, 1941 (the day Pearl Harbor was bombed). It likely will, I just hope the world is a much different place by then.

“No” Means “No!” (And ”Yes!”)

Whoever taught my 14-month old the word “NO!” should be shot. Twice. And it better hurt. A lot.
I swear, she sings “NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!!!”, she yells “NO! NO!” she even whispers “no”. Its like she knows it's irritating my wife and I and loves it. She’ll even say “NO” even when she means “Yes”.

We’ve tried using others words, like “Stop”. “Don’t touch!”, “Hot!”, etc. with her when she’s diving for that knife drawer, power tool, fireplace, or “Daddy’s bucket of chicken” (aka, “bucket of heaven”). We’ve been pretty good so far, and then this “No!” enters our house. I want to start over- where’s her reset button?

I’m going to make a t-shirt for her that says “I Don’t Care. The Answer is NO!” And then there will be an angry face in the “O” with its tongue sticking out.

Doggy Day-Care and Human Day-Care

Can you imagine spending $400-500 a week to send a dog to day-care while you’re at work? I can’t. My dog is at home where pets are supposed to be. I know people at work who are doing this. This costs more than day-care for 'actual' humans.
I’m not sure if this is just an L.A. thing or is spreading to other parts of the country, but if you can make this much watching dogs while its “pet-parents” are at work, well, maybe I should be getting into that business. Because there are a ton of suckers out there.

I just can’t stop thinking about this – it really bothers me now being a parent (of a human). When did pets become humans all of a sudden? I’ve always had a dog, took care of it, played, walks, etc. I really like animals but I don’t see them as a human equals especially that are in need of day-care.
If my dog and a stranger were drowning in a river, as much as I love my dog, I would definitely save the human first, then get my dog. When I asked pet-parents this (older people with no kids) they have to really think about it.

The people who spend this kind of cash don’t have any kids of course, yeah I know - but the ‘the Pug is her baby’!! Maybe they need to spend the money on something. I should tell them I need a Porsche, or maybe a trip to Fiji – or both! Because if they’re spending that kind of cash, money must be no object or they’ve got their priorities mixed up.

Stuff Is Missing Much More Often

There was this one episode of the Brady Bunch where Tiger, the dog, takes the kids’ (and Alice’s) stuff and hides everything in his doghouse. I think my daughter saw that episode.

Yesterday while washing the dishes a spider appeared out of nowhere on the kitchen counter and then Para jumped towards the family room (I’m convinced this spider was born from toxic chemicals from under the sink because he was the size of a cat and had human hair). After I screamed like a girl I grabbed a nearby shoe to smash it back to toxic hell. I eventually followed it to the family room (about a 15 mile run for spiders) and it ran under the couch. Once I took care of business my wife noticed something odd. Not the human eye the spider had or the scream it let out, but rather a lot of stuff that we had thought lost or accidentally threw away hidden under the couch. Books, cards, keys, etc. all pushed under the couch by our daughter. What I don’t get, how could we have not seen this? She’s never really alone (or is she?)

I’m not sure if I like this. What happens if she gets really good at hiding stuff? What kind of stuff will she be hiding when she’s a teen? Booze, Boys, Crack, Kevin Costner videos? I draw the line at Kevin Costner!! (No daughter of mine…)

I forgot what the Brady’s did to make Tiger stop. Maybe, if they had the choice, they would have played more Baby Einstein? Or maybe there are some subliminal messages in those videos telling toddlers to find all mommy and daddy’s valuables and send them to Cuba.

The Art Of A Nosepicking Toddler

I honestly don't know how they do it. How do they figure this ‘finger in the nose in one try’ out? Is it as evolutionary as walking or using the toilet? I'm not sure.
My daughter is developing her motor skills very quickly at her 14 months of life. She can try her best to put a straw in a cup lid, it takes some time with the coordination thing but she eventually figures it out after a few attempts. That’s why this bewilders me.
When it comes to her nose, she can put that finger in there fast. Like a Tiger Woods “hole in one!” She can even stare directly at you and not even look at the finger, and it just goes right in there. It’s disgusting, yet fascinating watching this phenomenon.

Right now I’m just trying to get her to stop doing this. And she knows it too. I can be across the room and she’ll yell “Dadadada!” and then when I look she’ll shove the finger in the nose. I know when it’s about to happen too, (it all happens in slow motion) it’s like she ‘stops’, and then sticks the finger up then all you see is a motion blur. By the time you know what’s going on, she already in Oregon.

I seriously don’t want my daughter to be that “kid” who picks their nose. I remember a few kids in elementary school who had nose fetishes and as adults I can guarantee they’re probably still enjoying a good harvest in the car. I remember never wanting to play with these kids because I would always imagine “crusty’s” dried on their toys. I'm sure others felt the same way too.

I don’t want that. No parent does.

Summer Is Over Because They’re Selling Christmas Stuff

So I never did get a chance to play chess in the park this weekend like I had planned. It was too hot outside – around 104 in the valley.

We ended up going down to the Disneyland Resort on Saturday later in the day (into the belly of crowds and tourists). Our afternoon felt a little ruined when we were rushing to see the last Playhouse Disney show of the day (at 4:15?) we were running with our daughter and her gear, like refugees, across the park and showed up at the door at like 4:18. They wouldn’t let us in because, we were told, JoJo or Bear would go postal at our tardiness or because the show was packed, I don’t quite remember. Our day was redeemed though because Disney’s California Adventure is never crowded, even on Labor Day weekend. The longest line is 5 minutes and everybody sort of walks around the park looking for something to do. I’ve got a secret about that park; in reality there really isn’t much to do.
When we got bored we went across to Disneyland. We really like Disneyland, and so do millions of other people who were there on Saturday, because the place was packed. We ended up giving in and took our daughter onto “It’s A Small World” (yeah, I know “why?”…Babies and toddlers love that ride. It’s like baby-crack) and then later watched the fireworks. While watching all I could think about was how much I would hate to live near Disneyland. Those fireworks are much louder than our neighbors dog.

Sunday we did something very cultural, we went to Dim Sum in Chinatown with friends. I like Dim Sum, you never address the women pushing the food carts as “Excuse me, madam, what kind of entrée might you have there?” it’s more like “Hey!! You!! #43 with deep fried Chicken feet!!” (They have nametags with only numbers) It’s so demeaning. The only other place that’s worse is Medieval Times; you get to address the waitresses simply as 'wenches'.
Later in the day we did a neighborhood block party potluck. This is something very rare here in L.A., we actually get along with the majority our neighbors and do stuff like this every few months. There are 7 houses on our street and only 2 of them are occupied with those “weird” people. So of course the topic of conversation sometimes skews at them.

So the last weekend of the summer is going pretty well and then I hear about the Crocodile Hunter’s tragic death. It’s really depressing. My wife and I love watching his show on occasion. I even remember watching the episode of where he drags his cameraman along with him for the birth of his daughter –that was very moving – here’s this guy who’s been bitten by crazy mutants and never sheds a tear and then practically bawls when he holds his daughter for the first time. I just can’t even imagine what his wife and kids are going through. And now that they’re in the world news dumb reporters are going be asking them really stupid questions like "Are you sad about this really rare tragic death?". I hate reporters questions on the obvious.
Being the world-travelers that we are (or imagined) we’ve always planned on one day going to visit Australia and going to the Zoo he started. I think we still might.

The End Of Summer '06

I know technically it isn’t, but ‘culturally’ Labor Day is the end of summer. I’m not sure where the summer went but frankly, the last 10-11 years since I got out of college, I always feel a little ripped-off.

Summers don’t have the same “zing” that they did when I was in school, you know the road trips, the extra time off, the “summer jobs” and the friends that come along with it. Nope, when you’re a working adult, July is exactly like February except the weather is different. Maybe it would be different if my wife and I actually took a vacation during the summer, but everywhere is always so crowded.

Things have been much different now that my daughter is around. Watching her grow and learn new “tricks” has been a thrill. This summer she had her 1st birthday with the Elvis impersonator (that I’m sure she’ll never forget), she learned how to walk, and she added more words to her vocabulary, such as “NO! NO! NOOoooO!” (Although we could live without that one). We went to another wedding - now, that we’re going well into our 30’s there are less and less of them since most friends are married (or “hooked-up”) now. These days, kids parties are becoming much more common for us.

Oh yeah, there’s nothing like a 3-day weekend to make you reminisce about getting older. I think I may go play chess in the park this weekend and complain about the government.