Potty Training Success! And Speaking of Poop, “The Oscars”

Guess what? I have a nearly potty-trained 2 and a half-year-old. That’s right, and it only took a little over a year - well, if you count my first attempt at 18-months.
Yes, I know there are some that can potty train a 3-month old; it’s not like I haven’t gotten the emails, comments, etc. with statements like “it’s easy! I did it and BILLIONS have too, just buy my book...” I’m sure they have and God bless them for it. But as I soon found out, kids come in all kinds of varieties and you just have to adjust the training based on their personality.

For instance, some toddlers don’t want Elmo to cry every time they go poop in their pants; in my daughter’s case, she wanted to see Elmo cry. Which makes me wonder a little….

Anyhow, what worked was just having her run around the house pantless and to have plenty of cleaning supplies around. We offered stickers as a reward for pee, and hung a fancy Princess dress over the toilet for poop. Once she poops, she gets to run around the house for a while in the dress, yelling such things as “I’m Sleeping Booty! I’m Sleeping Booty!”

And then I give her money for her piggy bank. The wife taught her what money is and to ask me for it. Which reminds me, I still have to thank her for that…

We did get some “scares” - one day she didn’t do anything for nearly 7 hours; that was a little creepy. She kept asking for a diaper and I stuck to my guns and kept refusing. I thought she was going to explode given all the gas she was passing. I kept trying to avoid her backside just in case anything came shooting out like a bullet… maybe leaving a hole in the wall with a view of the backyard.

She eventually pooped. When I picked her up, I swear she had lost about 9 pounds.

The Oscars – The Only Time I Yell At The TV Like A Drunk Ex-Football Coach
Did anybody watch the Oscars?

I still can't believe “No Country for Old Men” won Best Picture. Talk about a HUGE disappointment. A good premise, build-up, and good performances (Javier Bardem – great!) and then completely ruined by a stupid ending that made absolutely no sense. I had to skip back on our screener and watch it again because the wife and I thought we missed something.

My advice if you see the movie, walk out or turn it off 10 minutes before it ends (when Josh Brolin drives into the motel.) If not, be prepared to get an explanation by somebody who “read the book.”
Apparently, the requirement is to have read the book to enjoy their movies now.

I recommend the other MUCH better films such as The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Juno, or Away from Her.

Now it's time to put Sleeping Booty to bed and open some windows...

Toddler Rules, Gymboree, And The Oscars - All Collide Into A Fiery Ball Of Chaos!

I finally paid a visit with the wife to our daughter’s Gymboree class for the first time (I regularly teach on Saturday mornings and miss it.) I’ve been coaching the daughter to say random things like “Hi Baby!” when she sees another baby; when the wife was on the other side of the play room, my daughter said it to a crawling mom’s butt – the mom turned around, stared at me disgusted, with a look that said “why I never…!” then got up and walked away.
I can just imagine the Gymboree gossip circle now; I’m probably “that dad” now.
I did see something amusing on the wall that went something like this (paraphrasing):

Toddler Rules:
*If I once held it, it’s MINE
*If you’re holding it and it looks like it’s mine, it’s MINE
*If it makes noise, it’s MINE
*If I put it down, it’s still MINE
*Everything is MINE
We're in the beginning of the "mine" stage, which is this other realm of mystery.

Did anybody watch the Oscars last night? I thought it dragged on for about an hour and a half too long. I did like the shadow dance people, which was weird and funny... in a David Lynch kind of way (minus the midgets on tricycles, although I would have liked the addition.)
The best part was the Jack Black, Will Ferrell song and dance number (that Ricky Bobby movie was totally overlooked…!)
What I hate most about the Oscars is how some winners are completely predictable, while others I practically wanted to throw a rock at the T.V. out of shock (what’s with “Happy Feet” getting best animated over "Cars"!?)
I did like the Jennifer Hudson Speech. Yes. I know she was an American Idol and whatnot, but she was the most appreciative and authentic of the crowd. I did think Ellen should have made more of an effort to wear something more “dressy” (minus the dress-part.) red velvet should only stay on Prince and pimps. Other than that she was all right. I still think David Hasselhoff would have done a better job.

My daughter was running around most of the time playing before going to bed. Every time she saw a woman in a fancy dress she yelled “Prince-ESS!” When everybody clapped, she clapped and yelled “YEA!” When somebody we didn’t like won or they showed some cheesy celeb (DiCaprio, Marky Mark, etc.) she would put her finger on her nose and say “STINK-EEE!!!”.