Review: Disney/Pixar’s "The Good Dinosaur" Is Really Not That "Good" At All...

What do you get when you combine photo-real beautiful environments with an out-of-place silly-looking bright green cartoony bulgy-eyed Dinosaur (maybe done to differentiate from Jurassic Park dinosaurs to sell toys?); use familiar story themes from the "The Lion King", "Lilo & Stitch", DreamWork's "How To Train Your Dragon”, and then fill it with basically filler scenes?

The Good Dinosaur! 

The movie isn't bad, it's just barely O.K. It's hard to believe this came out of Pixar especially after their last movie "Inside Out." Sadly, this one ranks somewhere above Pixar's Cars 2 and Brave. The films primary characters, Arlo and Spot, are so generic that they could have come from any animated film from any other studio. I really did expect more from the people that made great movies like, "The Incredibles", "Toy Story", "Finding Nemo", "Ratatouille", and "Up"? Maybe they were all working on the next film "Finding Dory"?  Or maybe Pixar is losing its touch? I sure hope not. 

Overall, a mediocre story with good visual scenes that show off how computers can really make water look like water and leaves blowing in the wind look completely believable. Too bad they made the goofy looking dinosaurs that looks completely out of place. Seriously? What Director or Art Director thought that was a good idea?

My recommendation: wait for the rental or go see the charming "Peanuts" instead. This move isn’t worth spending money on at a theater. Unless you really want to get away from family this weekend or have nowhere else to go, or both. 

Hoping next year’s "Finding Dory" makes up for "The Good Dinosaur." 

Monopoly: Destroying Family’s Since 1933

My 9YO daughter asked me a few days ago, “Have you ever played Monopoly?”

“Uh, yeah…of course I have! Like, millions and millions of times.”

When I grew up we didn’t have the Internet. After the sun went down my family only had a few options for entertainment: 7 channels of TV with virtually nothing to watch (we didn’t have cable as that was for the “rich".) Read. Draw. Or played games with the family such as cards, usually poker, Uno, Parcheesi, Life, Battleship, and Monopoly.

Then I realized how crazy it was to be 9 and to have never played Monopoly. What kind of parent am I? Teaching her how to #hashtag, code, draw, tear apart and modify toys when every kid should have played Monopoly at least once by now. It’s almost like growing up without candy, birthday parties, or any (delicious) gluten. I immediately pulled out my iPhone and ordered it off Amazon.

Amazon Prime is so awesome and dangerous. Every time I use it I feel like that Coyote in those old Roadrunner cartoons ordering from ACME. I really wish Amazon Prime would deliver in wood crates; that would be awesome…

When we got our package we began to play almost immediately. Then my childhood memories came back to me in a quick flash. I realized that Monopoly could be played 1 of 2 ways:

1. You let the kid win. 

2. You play as you would any other human.

Nearly 2 hours into the game, I had hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place, owned about half the board, and was trying to teach her how to negotiate with me before her mother was going to go bankrupt with everything she had earned in the last 2 hours. And just then, her big eyes welled up, she got up and said softly, “you’re a bad daddy” and walked away.

After I collected the rent she owed me from her stack of money, my wife nearly wrote out a divorce contract on a nearby used paper towel (which happened to be mine as well…)

As I lay in bed that night, thinking, I realized that my family ways might have been a bit too harsh. We had to play until the end no matter how rough life (on the board) was or how many hours had gone by. You couldn’t walk away. You weren’t allowed to give up. You played and learned how to negotiate into eventually winning (and destroying the other players) and when you finally won - it felt great - because you knew how long it took to get there. It meant something real. My family doesn’t fight about politics or religion; no, they fight over who won in the last game of Monopoly!

Game can’t all be like Candyland where the point is just to make it to the end without crying.  There aren’t even dice in that game, only colored cards and the only conflict is staying out of the molasses  “Oh look, I got stuck in molasses swamp… I’ve learned a valuable life lesson.” That doesn’t mean anything. Nobody learns anything from that other than just stay away from something called molasses that nobody ever uses anymore!

  

Now Monopoly on the other hand - Monopoly is life.

Word to your mother (and her paper towel.)

The Wife Thinks I’m Crazy?!

It wasn’t the Elvis impersonator at our daughter’s 1st birthday, my potty training methods, the imaginary monster extermination ideas, my obsession with KFC/Spice Girls/Golden Girls/Circus Midgets/Real Estate Agent Pictures/Lionel Richie’s Mustache, or 98% of the weird stuff I've done and then write about.

Nope, none of that!

It was the 12-foot inflatable screen I got to play classic 80’s/70’s drive-in movies in the backyard for my daughter, friends, neighbors, and family.

(so awesome…)

About a month ago I came across a website which showcases crazed parents (primarily dads) that have created all kinds of cool drive-in theater setups in their backyards. These guys have huge screens, fancy projectors, nice sound systems, and even edit their own old classic drive-in intermission bumpers and cartoons. Amazing.

I don’t think I ever wanted anything this bad. Ever.
OK, except maybe ‘the Omnibot’ when I was 8.

Anyhow, it arrived on Friday just a day after scoring a great deal on a really nice projector (Sharp XR-32S – which works beautifully with my Macbook Pro.)
Now I have plans to do backyard showings of “Star Wars”, “E.T.”, “The Muppet Movie”, “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, “The Dark Crystal”, “Back to the Future”, “Gremlins”, “Ghostbusters”, “The Goonies”, “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure”, “PS3 Guitar Hero Playoffs” and all other kinds of cool classic drive-in movies.

While the 3 of us were watching Pixar’s Cars, holding my daughter with the biggest smile ever, my wife turns to me with enthusiasm and said, “We should totally watch Xanadu!”



I think my wife is crazy.

It Was One HOT Labor Day And Adults That Swear Around Kids

It was 106-degrees in my neighborhood on Saturday. Want to know what that feels like?
Close your eyes and imagine shrinking down really small (to like Gary Coleman’s height.) Now imagine standing in your oven (next to that Velveeta casserole.)

I’m very thankful for modern inventions like air conditioning (thank you Easter Bunny...)
I think I took around 14 naps over the weekend. Or at least I tried when my daughter wasn’t asking me “Sleep Daddy? Daddy go night-night? (tap-tap-tap on my head)”

My wife didn’t get to take very many naps since she began graduate school last week. Man, do they know how to give homework – she had a 10 page minimum paper to do and then had to figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop and then divide that by the national gross product of Brazil.

So to give the wife some study time on Monday, I took my daughter on a day-trip about an hour and a half away to my family’s labor day BBQ (it’s a good thing I was well-rested.) My daughter loves seeing my cousin’s kids; they’re all under the age of 7 and there’s like 60 of them (well, not really – only about 11 – but give them 2 or 3 years and I’m sure they'll hit 60…)
The only downside to my family’s get-togethers is that “the men” like to start arguing about why their “team” is better than everybody’s else’s after a few beers. And that usually leads to heated debates, lots of arguing, and a whole lot of swearing. This all happens when the kids are running around. But the guys don’t pay attention – you know because its football, and you better not say anything bad about their imaginary friends (disclosure – I’m not a sports guy, I wrote about it once here.)

Usually that language doesn't bother me, except around kids and at work. Adults should know better, but sadly some don't - I finally said “Hey Guys! The kids can hear you…. if my daughter starts swearing, I’m having her cuss you and your mama out first!”

They laughed, probably realizing who their audience was and calmed down. Then about 10 minutes later started yelling about the 59ers/Lakers/whatever game again. We left soon after.

What do you all of you do when people (friends, family, strangers) swear around your kids? Do you say something? Or maybe this doesn't bother you at all...

The Battle Between Work And Family Life. What Would Elmo Do?

There’s just something about being at work 10 pm on a Sunday that really gets a parent/spouse like myself thinking about ‘the career’ and the future.
I’ve been working a lot the past few weeks and the part that really bothers me most is not seeing the wife and daughter nearly as much as I’d like. I see my daughter for about 30 minutes in the morning and that’s about it.

The other night just made my heart melt, I called the wife (like I do every night while on my 20-minute ‘dinner break’) and talked to my daughter. She was doing her normal chatter about Elmo and then she comes out and says “Daddda --- I-luv-yooooo” all in one breathe. After I said my goodbyes, I hung up the phone and about died. What’s happening to me? That must be the helpless feeling that a parent in jail feels after the kids leave the visiting area – the only difference being that I’m free to choose Coke or Pepsi at dinner. Thankfully, these crazy hours should be over in a week.

The ‘higher-ups’ at work are there all-the-time - even during non-demanding times. These people can be found there until 8-9 every night and also come in on weekends (I sometimes wonder if they sleep in their cars...) The thing that strikes me is that the vast majority of them have spouses and small kids at home. That bothers me - a lot. I’m wondering if that’s my destiny and if I really want a life like that too (I'm on that track...) I’m almost to the point of getting off this soul train. Maybe staying on the slower one that doesn’t require passing up my family along the way, much like those people have done.

My greatest fear is looking back 25 years from now, when my daughter is all grown-up and wishing I would have been there watching her grow (feedings with Elmo, chasing boys away, teaching her how to draw and play video games, crime-fighting, etc.) but somehow missed out because I was too busy working.
Although, on the flip side… What happens if she ends up working at Hot Topic, smokes crack, and runs away with some truck driver/wannabe rock star, actor from Oklahoma?! Then I would be wishing I did spend more time at work. Does anybody know where I can borrow a DeLorean with a flux capacitor?